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Disclaimer: I don't own MaiHime
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Devotion
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Over and over, it resounded through her head. Her 'no' was more than enough to shatter the promise of forever. There was nothing so bitter than the taste of the wind that night.
She crushed her, with one single word. And all she could do was love her more.
What a silly rebound that was… To apologize for feeling that way and yet continue to feel the very same thing every waking moment…
Nothing ever changed.
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I look at you idly, you and your brilliant form. Too sweet for me to take in, but it is true that you now lay beside me. It could never ease my mind though.
Are you for real?
"Shizu..ru?" you mumble, half asleep, and tugged gently at me. I did not worry a reply because you went back to your idyllic world the moment I opened my lips to attempt so.
How is it that we ended up in here together?
My life stopped when you said 'no'. It took all my promise of forever and shattered them painfully with one blow. I could never have tasted so foul in my mouth and the taste will linger to remind me of you. My tea can never ever replace that bittersweet flavor of rejection.
Yet now, here you are, curled towards me, like a sunflower beaming –searching for- the warmth.
'Warmth, eh?' Amusement never left me but it was mere entertainment; something to hold my sanity together. It still wasn't enough. I almost lost it had you not come and sweep me off my reverie.
Your hand is soft, so soft. And so darn magnificent. It never wavers – always with that heart felt aim. Back in the church ruins, I danced with your bullets but it would have been a sight to actually see you fire at me- directly at me- with those guns your hands so lovingly caressed.
If I had just stayed still, would you have hit me in the head?
No. I think not.
It would have been unfair for my skin to be marred like that, right? You often say at night how you loved it, so I figured you never did want to wound me.
I touch your hair; your midnight tresses are so breathtaking, flowing atop that gorgeous head of yours. I swear I could drown with its scent and die happy.
You stir again, and this time you grab me, possessively, and urged me to lie back down. How simple it is for you to forgive me. That was so wonderful of you. And now you claim me, with your words doing no justice with the intensity of your actions.
I let you pull me, like the countless times before, and surround my being over and over again.
You broke me and all I could do was love you more in the end.
Your eyes are closed but I know you're not asleep. You pulled me closer to you in your consciousness and it bothers me to no end.
What are you thinking?
The moment you came in –again-, you said you have made a decision. You want me, need me—Love me. Love is such an easy word for you, isn't it? What am I to do but accept you…
Completely –utterly-, I obeyed you. I became what I wanted to be in your life; YOURS and YOURS ALONE.
It wasn't a fairytale I wanted though. And this is like one, my love.
Are you for real? The question begins to swell up but I know it will just be a memory come tomorrow.
You're the only thing that mattered and my sentiments are just too feeble to stay.
I never said anything about how painfully hurt I was –AM- with the way you treated me. Because every time you whisper, my heart just goes numb with too much of everything. And somehow I start to believe.
I pray you're not pretending.
With the rate of things, I will never have the slightest hint if you're messing with me or not. I'm at your feet the moment I laid eyes on you-- rejected or not.
Your touch fires me up and as your lips reach for mine in this dark solitude we now call home, I felt the deadened feeling of your words. I feel different, my worries coming to a halt.
Please, please let this not be a dream.
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FIN
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A/N: Reviews are always appreciated...