Disclaimer: I have no rights over Rizzoli and Isles, as all rights belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and TNT.
This was made just for fun, no profit.

A/N This is my first Rizzles was written long before season 4 episode 12. The main idea was that Jane and Casey were engaged, and it would be a AU in the distant future, but now it may be a little closer. This is what I want to happen when the show begins again. Enjoy and please review.

Jane POV

I wasn't sure if I had ever seen her so angry. She was in the verge of tears and screaming but she was shivering, withholding the wish to snap at me. She was justified to behave like this. It was the third time I'd spent the night with her and I still couldn't promise something different, something more.

6 weeks ago

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" Her voice came like from very far away but she was just two feet away. I was lost in my thoughts, didn't come up right away with an answer.

"No, Casey will go out. Guy's night, so I'm free." I said as soon as I managed to pull myself together.
"Well we can make it girl's night? Has been a while since the last time we went to grab some drinks, just us two." Her smile was pure and innocent and if it wasn't that the comment had felt like a punch in the stomach I would have smiled back.

"Yeah. Wanna head to the Robber later? I still have some paperwork." My reply this time was more confident.

"I'll be finished in a few hours too. So yeah I would like a drink." She smiled again and it was contagious. Even more than that, I was grinning like an idiot when we said our goodbyes.

The hours went on quickly and by 7 we were on our way to the bar. She was more than beautiful, the dress just a little above her knee hugged her in all the right places and her up-do was a little more sophisticated than normal, with a few strands hanging amazingly on the side of her face. We sat down, I ordered my beer and she ordered her usual wine. After a little small talk about our day, she sat up straight and with a knowing smile she asked me.

"How's the engagement going? We haven't talked much since the big news."

"Pretty good." My voice cracked a little and I cursed myself. "He's been amazing. Things have been pretty good, yeah." I was still failing to keep my voice level, couldn't just lie to her.

"Well, I'm glad but I'd like a few more details. How do you feel? How has this change come to you?" Her polite but not less dazzling grin showing. I could tell she felt somehow happy for me, and my first answer had satisfied her but she was curious for more. So oblivious, I thought to myself.

"I'm good. I'm taking it pretty good." I sounded like a broken record. So I stepped it up a little. "I like this, I like the new place we have, I like having someone to go home to, it makes the job easier, gets your mind off a little." Yeah, I definitely stepped it up… by lying. Or as she would take it if she knew, twisting the truth a little. Because I really liked the new place. It was more spacious than my old apartment, it had more light, and it was nice having 'someone', I felt less lonely. To be completely honest to myself, I really liked the feeling, and Casey was a nice distraction, a very nice distraction, even though it felt like lacking. I knew it wasn't perfect, far from it but it was comfortable and sweet, and I felt loved, taken care off.

"Jane, are you here?" Her voice broke my line of thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I was… thinking."

"So good you're daydreaming huh?" She raised her eyebrows. She had taken this in a whole different way, but I couldn't blame her. I chuckled.

"Yeah." My reply almost inaudible as I sipped my beer.

"Well I'm glad for you." Her hand reached my wrist, as soon as I landed the beer back on the table. I let go of the cold glass bottle to reach take her hand. God, she was so warm, and her skin was so soft. Her hand delicate and she let it rest in mine, and I reached with my other hand playing with her fingers. Her gaze was loving and caring, so sincere it made me warm inside.

"Thank you." And I tried to smile. She smiled right back. And right it that moment I was reminded why I fell for her in the first place. We were holding hands from across the table, gazing in each other's eyes, smiling, and I didn't want to be no place else. I let go of her, trying not to get lost in the moment, and we continued talking and drinking till I was feeling a little tipsy. She felt the same and I was about to call it a night but she ordered another glass of wine, and another after that. She might as well bought the whole bottle. She was clearly drunk so I had to drive her home. I was waiting on a red light and she had been unconscious for a while when I heard her mumble.

"Jane? …. Jane … Jane." God, it must have been the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Her tone in the second time she said my name was neutral, like she was just greeting me, and the third was like satisfied, like I've made something that she liked, and I could swear her lips curved a little. It was like she was having a happy dream about me. The honk of the car behind us reminded me that the red lights usually turn to a green after a while and you have to drive when they do that. So that's what I did, drove like on autopilot, and pulled up when we reached her house. She was leaning on the seat, her face turned towards me. I took all of my strength not to reach and touch her, but I couldn't help staring.

"Maura" My voice uneven like was the one who has been sleeping.
"Maura, wake up." Now I was slightly shaking her wrist. "Maura, you have to wake up sweetie." I approached myself to her, leaning over. "Maura-"
"Jane"
"Yeah, it's me, you gotta-" she interrupted me again.
"Jane you look so pretty… You are always so pretty" She sounded like a five-year old, unbelievably cute and I couldn't help my smile. She was still in her sleep, but even then she thought I was pretty.
"Well, thank you … You're not so bad yourself." I said nonchalantly."But you have to wake up. We arrived. You're home."
"Hmm" she seemed to come to her senses, she was in and out of it, I could tell. "I like home."
"Yeah, you have a nice place. But you gotta wake up or I have to carry you."

"Carry you, I can't … oohh … hhhmmm... carry me." She wasn't making any sense and the Maura I knew was usually rational, and careful, her brain coming up with words that I sometimes had to think twice to understand them.

"Maura, I'm gonna carry you, ok?" I understood I had lost the battle, not worth fighting anymore. So I freed her from the seat belt, got out and opened the passenger door.
She didn't even turn her head to the noise so I was already trying to carry her. Then I got reminded. Her keys. I reached for her purse, found the keys, put them in my mouth and I was back to my task. It wasn't that hard, since she wasn't that heavy, and the years working out definitely helped. Even though I tried to be as quick about it and to reach her couch as soon as possible. I laid her there, arched and stretched my back because it was hurting a little and went to grab a glass of water. As I leaned against the counter, drinking, I let my mind replay the last minute. Her head over my shoulder, her whole body in my arms, leaning against my front. Her breath even in my neck and she was so close I could kiss her if I turned my head.

I scolded myself, than I headed to the couch to find her still asleep. I could leave her there, throw a blanket over, but she would complain tomorrow about neck and back pain and I would feel guilty. She would have enough torture with the hangover; I could do her a favor to let her rest in her own bed. I prepared myself for the weight so this time it seemed easier, and she even put her arms around my neck, instinctively I thought to myself. I was tucking her in when she reached for me again, trying to pull me down to her.

"Jane" I was already in her embrace.

"Maura, sweetie." I couldn't stop saying that tonight. I reached to pull her hands for my neck but she only held on tighter so I was obliged to put a knee over the bed and get closer to her.

I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that we were hugging on her bed, when I felt her lips on mine. It may have been hours, days, years, it may have been just a second, or the clock may have just stopped, and the world may have not been spinning but my mind was. I wasn't there, I was nowhere but at the same time I was more there than anywhere I've ever been, my senses felt numb but I could smell her, hear her almost nonexistent moaning, feel her arms around my neck, see fireworks with my eyes closed. When I pulled back I realized the kissed has been chaste, our closed mouth had pressed for a few seconds against each other. It wasn't enough, I wanted more, I needed more. I kissed her again opening my mouth slightly, letting the feeling linger as I shifted to press my front against her side, my fingers going through her hair. When she responded I knew I would never be able to get enough of her kissing me. She moved her hand to my waits urging me to move again as the kiss became more urgent. I laid on my back as she straddled me, never breaking the kiss. As if the weight of her wasn't enough or how her hair brushed my cheek sending shivers down my spine, she pulled back, standing barely an inch away.
"Jane…" it might have been a symphony. A whispered one. "Oh my god, Jane" She was shaking her forehead against mine, like she couldn't believe this was happening, but she wouldn't open her eyes because she didn't want this to stop. I knew this was the case because I was feeling the same. She needed reassurance but I couldn't make my lips move even if someone paid me, to speak that is. So I put them in use for the next best thing, as my fingers had never left her hair, pulling her back to me. She moaned at the sudden contact and after some seconds I found my hands at the hem of her dress brushing the tip of my fingers against her thigh. I was fifteen again, afraid to make a move, embarrassed and withholding. She grabbed my wrist and moved my hands further down her dress and it was my turn to moan. My own voice served me as a wake up call, and I broke the kiss abruptly sliding away from beneath her. It was either that or the kiss, or both that seemed to sober her up so she stood there on her knees looking at me like I had said the world was flat.
"Jane, I… We… What … Oh my god." The talking Google Dr. Isles couldn't even form a simple sentence. For our good or bad luck, I could.
"I can't do this. I am sorry. I'll leave now, I'm really sorry." What was apologizing for, I wasn't sure. For kissing her? I'd do it again in a heartbeat. For wanting more than just to kiss her? Maybe, but no, it wasn't that. For leaving her when she looked so scared and vulnerable? Yeah, that was the reason.

Present time

"Get out." Her voice came strong and firm. "Get out Jane. I don't want you here." I opened my mouth but nothing came from it. She couldn't even look at me. So I walked out of the room, as I had done many times after sleeping with her, but for some reason, tonight was more painful.