Ship: Kurt/Sebastian, min. Blaine/Kurt.

Rating: NC-17.

Summary: It has been two months since Kurt wakes up in the same bed at least twice a week, a bed that doesn't belong to him, but he has always felt like it is, like it smells of something you would never want to let go.

Author's Note: Hi everyone! I'm happy to publish my first story in English here (thanks to EdyFerrone for translation). This story was inspired by the Kurtbastian week 2012 that brought Kurtbastian in my life. I hope you like my story that is complete in Italian, it only needs to be translate.

I don't even know what to say, so I'll leave you to the chapter. Have fun!

/

Chapter 1

It has been two months since Kurt wakes up in the same bed at least twice a week, a bed that doesn't belong to him, but he has always felt like it is, like it smells of something you would never want to let go. It's something that tastes terribly like sex and him.

He turns slowly under the sheets, a gorgeous still naked man beside him.

Tonight they've made an exception to their rules because Kurt never sleeps here, he always goes back home not to make his dad worry and not to arouse suspicion also. Yet tonight he hasn't been able of leaving to go home, he has made up an excuse and stayed.

He begins to stroke gently at the boy's perfect back still wondering how it's possible that he has chosen him.

Kurt doesn't want to wake him, but he can't help but touch him when they're alone and they can let go.

They always have to pretend, but never when they're between these four walls. This awkward something, born by chance, has proved to be their salvation and their condemnation at the same time, but Kurt would give up on everything for him, though probably the other boy would never do the same.

It has been about ten minutes when Sebastian also decides to wake up. Kurt has thought he's been sleeping, but actually he has pretended all the time just to enjoy his attentions.

"Good morning …" Kurt whispers in his ear, kissing him gently on his neck.

"Why don't you sleep here all the time?" Sebastian asks, his voice still thick with sleep, turning to the boy at his side.

"I'd have never thought you'd love sharing your bed with someone - Kurt answers while still stroking his skin gently - at least not to sleep."

"I love waking up with you purring at me, no doubt about it."

Kurt smiles, he can't help it.

Sebastian hardly loses it for moments of sweetness like this. Maybe the night they've spent together has changed something inside him, or maybe it's just a way to appease Kurt, as usual; in any case Kurt decides to take advantage of it, he can't really miss this chance.

They still cuddle for a while without caring about anything except themselves, their emotions, their needs.

They were exchanging some light kisses when Kurt's phone throbs, twice, and he breaks away from the Warbler to see who's searching for him: the first text is from his father.

Since he has confessed to his father about the first time with Blaine, Burt had become a bit more permissive, knowing there wouldn't have been no need to keep Kurt locked at home, since it had already happened.

So Kurt often uses his boyfriend as an excuse to go to Sebastian's place. Dad, I'm going to Blaine's is the typical sentence Kurt leaves his house with in the evening, after dinner, to get to his lover's.

Kurt hates it that he has to lie to his father, to Blaine and mostly that he uses him as a lame excuse. The problem is that none of his friends would have supported his secret affair with Sebastian and then no one would ever agree to cover it. In addition, the girls often call at his house, maybe just because they need Finn or something, and if they do, it would be a disaster.

Blaine instead never calls because, even though he's now having a good time at McKinley, he has failed to establish a real friendship with someone and he still goes out with the Warblers.

Kurt is terrified to check who the second text is from, but he knows perfectly who the sender is before he reads it.

Seeing his uncertainty, Sebastian decides to delay a little the moment when he would return to be the perfect asshole and he gently strokes Kurt's back to give him courage.

He knows now how difficult it is for him to find texts from his boyfriend who's completely unaware of what Kurt is doing. Kurt isn't a bad person, he's not like Sebastian. He really feels bad for Blaine and each time his soul aches when he wonders how it is possible that he himself is doing so much to hurt a person he loves.

Sebastian doesn't understand why he hasn't broken up with Blaine yet, it's a discussion that often pops up between them, but Kurt stills argue that this would be the last time; that his boyfriend is his only certainty and Sebastian means nothing.

Obviously he's going to be there again the following day, ten o'clock in the evening, in front of the door of Sebastian's house, and they'll end up having sex for hours like every single time.

Good morning baby. If you want to, see you in Lima Bean in about an hour, I wanted to talk to you.

Blaine wants to talk to him. But he seems quiet, he has called him baby. It's not going to be anything serious, he's sure about it.

Good morning to you too. All right we'll catch up to the Lima Bean.

He reads the text; there's something that sounds out of tune. It's cold, set up, Blaine definitely would have asked if there's something wrong because Kurt's texts are hardly so lacking of affection.

"Kurt, do it," he hears Sebastian's voice of inciting him, he knows what he means, but he can't take it. He can't be so shameless.

"Bastian, I can't." He turns to the boy, and sees him lifting an eyebrow wearing the face of someone who is wondering if you're kidding. "Okay." Kurt says, sighing. He picks up the phone and adds, "I love you.", It seems the worst thing in the world right now.

Then, without he even realizes it, Kurt's face is becoming slightly sad. He doesn't want to leave Sebastian, doesn't want to leave the house, because out of that door there's the world, there're real problems.

"I'm heading to Scandals tonight." Sebastian says, surprising Kurt.

"Since when have you started needing a permission for that?" Kurt turns to him a little nervously.

He hates it that Sebastian goes there, he hates knowing that he is going to take to the bathroom a nice guy he's met on the dance floor, he hates finding signs of kisses and bites on his body the next day, signs that aren't his own. Kurt knows, however, that this irritated tone whenever Sebastian mentions it is all he can do, because they're not together, and even if they were a couple, it wouldn't change anything, that's just how Sebastian is.

"I'm not asking for permission. It was a simple statement." Sebastian answers then, now that he's find out Kurt's jealousy. If he had been a different person, he'd probably avoid telling him whenever he goes to Scandals, but he loves seeing him angry, possessive, and jealous.

Well, it's still his precious gay face after all, so it's spontaneous for Sebastian to be a bitch to him.

"Okay." Kurt snaps coldly. Without even looking at Sebastian, he gets out of bed and adds "I'm gonna take a shower." He would have wanted to add also to pull off your smell from my skin, but he takes it back because he knows that could have give Sebastian to chance to pull out a series of unnecessary jokes from the boy still lying in bed.

"You have no idea how much I love your body ... you're so perfect." Hearing these words, Kurt turns to Sebastian who's watching him, licking his lips, hungrily.

Thanks to Sebastian, Kurt has let go. He's not ashamed to walk around the room naked; he has taken more awareness about how physically attractive he is.

Unfortunately, even Blaine has noticed this change in him and he has been surprised, but fortunately he's never suspected anything.

Sebastian has made him feel like a true man for the first time, he's been able to drop the mask of the good and a little clumsy kid. Maybe it's the reason why after the first time he has succumbed to Sebastian's lure, he hasn't been able to give up on it anymore.

As Sebastian never ceases to remind him, he has made him a "little pervert". Kurt just thinks he has managed to get unstuck in front of a man who demonstrates him how exciting he is, worshiping his body, looking at him like he's a Greek god statue.

Kurt doesn't answer Sebastian's words, but he just to shakes his head and blushes slightly as usual, looking down and giggling. This embarrassment from these words is probably the only thing that has left from the old Kurt 'baby penguin' Hummel.

He quickly takes a shower, hoping that the smell doesn't stay on him.

Returning to the room, now dressed, he finds Sebastian still lying in his bed. He is beautiful; it's the only thing that Kurt can think of. His smooth skin, his thin but tremendously carved body that gives him that masculine look; these green eyes which complement the beauty of a look that always seems to be saying "I'm the best."

Kurt doesn't want to get caught while staring at him so he turns to the mirror and pretends to fix his hair, doesn't want to give this guy the satisfaction of seeing him adoringly. Kurt doesn't realize when Sebastian comes up from behind and hugs him leaning on his back. Kurt sighs softly at the contact, and brings his head back, so that Sebastian can kiss him without making him turn.

After these small effusions, they stay there staring at their image in the mirror for a few seconds: Kurt is now fully pressed with his back on the other boy's chest and Sebastian rests his chin on Kurt's shoulder and hugs him from behind.

"Kurt …"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me again … why?"

Kurt opens his eyes to enjoy better his lover's body against his own. He takes advantage of the mirror to be able to look into his eyes and say to him:

"Because Blaine is my only certainty and I can't lose him, while you're unreliable, you don't love me and you never will. I need a man who is mine only, and you wouldn't be mine."

Sebastian's face doesn't change at all. By now he is used to hearing this speech. He has heard it whenever he's asked Kurt to leave his boyfriend, maybe selfishly because he knows that having Kurt all to himself wouldn't change his lifestyle anyway. However, he has decided not to say anything to Blaine about their meetings although he still wonders why.

"I have to go or I'll be late. We'll catch up." Kurt says, stopping the flow of thoughts going throw their minds both. He pulls away from Sebastian and plants a soft kiss on his cheek before heading out the door.

/

The trip is short-lived because the Lima Bean is a little more than ten minutes away from the house that Sebastian has bought when he has transferred to Dalton. He doesn't want to live in the dorms of the school.

As Kurt enters, he immediately sees his boyfriend greeting him with his hand; he has also ordered his latte already.

"Hi ..." Blaine greets him with a smile. Kurt smiles back and kisses him on the cheek, putting the mask of the perfect boyfriend on again now as he is forced to do so since he has started his secret sex dates with Sebastian.

"So … what did you want to tell me that couldn't wait?"

"Kurt, I don't know what to start with ..."

"Baby, try and start from the beginning ..." Kurt replies ironically but sweetly, taking his hand to let him know that whatever he is going to tell him, Kurt is there for him. These are moments he feels so strongly tied to Blaine that he just knows he can't leave him, even though he also knows that sooner or later he will have to reveal his double life to his boyfriend. He's been aware of it since the beginning.

"I've made a choice, but just …. Don't get mad at me …"

"Blaine, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Blaine is terrified to say this mysterious thing to Kurt; he can see it in his eyes.

He takes a long sip from his cappuccino with the hand that is not trapped between Kurt's fingers and then replies in one breath.

"I'm going back to Dalton."