Point Of Divergence
K9: The First
Somewhere in the bowels of NERV
The air was cold.
The floors were cold.
The walls were cold.
Her own sisters were cold.
Kei was cold.
And she wanted out.
The phone Kiko had given her lay in pieces on the floor, but Kei remembered the message its cracked screen once had: the schematic summary of Operation JUDAS, Scenario 230,001. The perfected scenario, the one where she got everything she ever wanted, where she finally wiped NERV, and her family, off the face of the map and conquered the world.
The one that made her cry, and gave her nightmares.
And now the one that was hammering the final nails in the coffin for Kei's life here in Tokyo-3, one of her own creations, born from the drive to perfection she craved, seeking a path Kei learned she could not take and abandoned. Was this what Doctor Victor Frankenstein felt? As his modern Pygmalion went on a vengeful rampage for love in an uncaring world?
A part of Kei's analytical psyche realized that Chairman Kiel was behind this. She would not be so clichéd as to call her scenario "Everybody Dies." That was childish and obvious, and easily figured out. And given the convenient timing of Kei mysteriously receiving the origins of Ichi, it made sense that the man orchestrated this whole sick situation, either as punishment for betraying him at New Vegas, or possibly just as a Dead Man's Gambit in wake of his recent removal from control to take the world with him. Either way, too many secrets were out, and her past experiment that she now wished to remain buried and forgotten cemented the fact that Kei could no longer call this place home, if it ever really was.
But that was neither here nor there right now. Cheek still stinging from Kiko's slap, Kei addressed the elephant that this turn of events uncovered.
"I can see. I see, now. You were all quick to believe that I was a monster. Weren't you?"
And it was true, wasn't it? A suspiciously sudden document comes in suggesting she was building a situation of horrible intent and they were all ready to wipe her out? No questions? No denial that their own sister could possibly make this? For all they knew it was some sick joke, or a frame job. But no. Kei has always been the odd one. The one that tried to be borrr~rrring on purpose. Something is simply wrong with her, and we must be willing to take her down on a moment's notice.
Fine then. The Greeks believed that Fate and Destiny were unavoidable, that the word of the Oracle could never be averted, not even by the gods.
Still, many, god and mortal alike tried, oh how they tried to escape fate. Chronos, Laius, Acrisus, all told that they would be killed by their children, and so sought to kill them. But soon enough the fate they sought to avoid came to pass, because the children sought vengeance on their infanticidal fathers. Zeus, Oedipus, Perseus, all killed their fathers, who had tried to kill them.
The rest of The Ree wanted a murderously insane sister? Very well. And she would be their own creation.
"Fine, then I'll be your monster."
And with a flick of her AT-Field enhanced wrist, the Ree were sent flying in all directions.
For a fraction of a second, Kei contemplated finishing them off with a positron blast, and immediately after that she felt the weight of guilt in her chest. She couldn't do it. What she could do in a simulation she wouldn't be able to in real life.
But then, why should she go about this? Is that not what her Black and White morality sisters wanted? What they expected from her? No. No, Kei Ayanami would not be controlled by what her sisters, what Mother-no, what Yui-wanted. Away. She had to get away. Let her siblings quake in fear every hour at the slightest squeak, let them shoot at empty shadows, let them seek out plots that were not there for the rest of their lives. Kei was done with these games, with them. Let them stand confused at Kei's horrifyingly irrational actions as she doesn't attack them. That will be her revenge: not murder, but life.
And in that fraction of a second, lives, history, destinies themselves were changed. Where in one Kei remained for better or worse, here she took a retreat, and blasted upwards for the Geofront.
When she broke through the soil, Kei barely avoided being crushed by Zeruel as both he and Unit-02 fell to the Geofront floor. As Zwei began beating on the Angel of Might, said Angel managed to wrap tendrils around the crimson Evangelion and toss him to the roof with the assistance of twin optic blasts. As Zwei fell, Zeruel finally noticed the tiny blue-haired girl beside him.
"So. You are the Succubus who turned the traitorous Tabris against us. I shall remove your tempting influence, so that I may not have to kill him after all."
Kei was about simply leave the titans to their fight, but the Angel of Might's remark about 'traitors' hit what was at the moment a very, very sore spot for the Rogue Ree, and thus she could not let it stand. In normal circumstances, Kei would have made a strategic withdrawal at Zeruel's now glowing eyes, but reflexes and emotions tend to cloud split judgments, and so she didn't. Instead, she deployed her AT-Field.
At that moment in Central Dogma, alarms rang out about another, unaccounted for Pattern Blue, the strongest ever recorded, that blocked out everything from light to subatomic particles and beyond. And above them in the Geofront, Unit-02 was slammed into the far wall of the 'front, while Zeruel was revoked of all movement via being stuck in between multiple layers in the Field's phase space.
Instantly, Kei charged up a positron attack around her fist, and flew straight for the Angel of Might's grimacing façade, and struck a mighty blow between the eye-holes.
And Zeruel fell like a glass-jawed Fainting Goat, oddly colored blood flowing from his maw.
Kei then flew from the Geofront, heading for the Ikari residence. Zeruel may have been down, but was yet to be out, already he was reawakening, and the forces of NERV would most assuredly use the opening for all its worth. Zwei and Uri were already standing, and Unit-00 and Mari were already at the surface.
Once she arrived at the Ikari apartments, Kei worked at superspeed. Her sisters may be restrained to Sheol by the presence of the Angel, but Rei wasn't, and would show up at any time. Grabbing an overnight bag, Kei quickly selected a few extra outfits and toiletries. When done, she sped for the door, stopping at the sight of a family portrait of the Ikari family: Gendo, Yui and Rei, with a school photo of Shinji hung lovingly nearby.
None of her, or the others, after all: why should Yui bother with pictures of the other replacements if there's already one outside? Now it all made sense.
Without thinking, Kei punched the portrait, cracking the glass above Yui's face, then quickly grabbed a marker and wrote 'F_ you Yui!' in Japanese, German, French, Spanish, English, Cantonese, Mandarin, Hindi, Morse Code, pictograms of all versions of Sign Language and Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics all over the wall.
If was overly emotional, it wasn't rational, it accomplished nothing. And Kei didn't care.
As soon as it was done, Kei grabbed her bag and flew off, achieving Mach twelve by the time she hit the Sea of Japan heading west.
She had to get away.
Her AT-Field protected her from the normal detrimental effects of an exposed body flying at such speeds, but as the smoking Chinese landscape passed under her, Kei found that her lips seemed to have decided to stiffen in an upwards direction against her will, that her eyes stung, and that breathing became somewhat difficult. As she flew through the remains of the Himalayas, dodging fiery debris that was once Mount Everest just now falling from orbit, her mind began to finally reflect on the day's events.
The documents were above Throne clearance, and because she was suspicious of their source, and disturbed at what they could mean she looked through the MAGI, to find that the information they contained was one-hundred percent accurate.
Ichi was the soul of Rei Ikari, and she was Yui's lost child.
The logical part of Kei's mind said that she was overreacting, that ultimately it meant nothing. And yet it could not deny that, given Yui's history towards children-especially her own-it stood to reason that the chances of her trying to overcompensate in the name of the lost child, and seeing those attempts (even subconsciously) as ways to symbolically regain that child, were astronomically high. Looking back at past interactions with this new knowledge, Kei couldn't help but see new facets she'd not noticed before.
Yui always seemed to favor Ichi a little bit more than Kei and the rest of the Ree. Granted most of said interaction was on Ichi's birthday, but further reflection brought the realizations that the Ree were never even given a single date designating a birthday. At the time Kei never took much stock of it, her sisters less so, but suddenly that fact became quite grating. No matter how it was cut, Ichi would always be Yui's daughter.
And Yui's favorite.
It changed everything. Yui wasn't glad Kei had returned, merely that one of those dangerous Lilithian Nephelim was once again out of Kiel's hands. Yui didn't want Kei as her lab assistant, she was simply living out a sick fantasy where her real daughter came to work for her, as if Kei were simply some doll to be played with.
And at New Vegas, Yui lied to her about being the favorite. Looked her square in the eye and lied to her face.
Kei would not've liked being rejected in that way, but at least the gnawing anxiety over it all would have been put to rest at last. But Yui didn't even respect her for that, and in fact just lied to her, playing up some other fantasy where things had gone differently.
Well, Kei Ayanami was not some toy to play house with. She was her own individual, and if Yui couldn't get that, then she could suck it. And if Kei could help it, that woman would never, ever get within a thousand miles of her ever again.
Because Yui lies, Yui always lies.
Always.
It was with that realization that Kei noticed that she had stopped, and was hovering over the Alps, the Matterhorn's iconic peak just a few dozen feet to her right. She didn't really take this particular direction for a reason, she just needed to get away, away. As the threatening tears finally fell, the Rogue Ree couldn't help but to laugh. Instinctively, she had run to the one place where she had happy memories untainted by lies, a place where she was treated with something resembling respect, where her talents and unique quirks were praised, not mocked or needlessly feared or shunned. Where she was a prisoner, where he was…
The girl couldn't help but give a bitter bark of a laugh, the tears flowing less now, but still building for another head. Making her decision, Kei pulled out her cell phone, and made the call.
It was picked up on the fifth ring.
"I'm sorry but I'm in a meeting, could-"
"Kaworu?" she choked out, cringing at how pathetic her voice sounded to her own ears.
"Kei! Kei is that you? Are you all right? Where are you, what has happened? We lost contact with NERV after Zeruel burst through the armor layers."
Kei swallowed, thankfully composing herself much better than earlier. "I'm fine. I'm at the Matterhorn. Its… I just… Can… Can I stay with you? Please?"
There was a pause. "…Certainly Kei but, what's wrong? Is everyone at NERV all right?"
Kei humphed at that. "Oh don't worry, Yui and her precious little dolls were fine when I left, and I think the tide was just turning against Zeruel."
"Oh good! I'll admit that we were getting worried for a moment, which isn't good considering the age of some of those present. But why did you leave?"
Kei's eye twitched. Typical: here she was, looking for a bit of sympathy, and he wasn't able to pick up that she really didn't want to talk about this right now.
From the silence he received, the Adamite Nephilim seemed to catch on. At last.
"…I'll meet you at the door."
With that Kei turned off the phone and started for the Lorenz Estate. Half-way there she ran full on into a thunderstorm, forcing herself to slow down, and by the time she reached the manor, it was coming down in sheets and she was soaking wet when she got to the door. Kei was about to open it herself when it was done for her.
Looking up, backlit by warm and inviting light stood Kaworu, grey hair glinting like a halo. Spontaneously, Kei leaped at the boy and embraced him.
"Kei? Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but why are you here?"
Kei looked up to her boyfriend's face, and finally let the dam fall. The glistening of her eyes became more pronounced, as though her eyes were liquefying, and her lower lip trembled.
"She lied Kaworu," she said with a small sniff. "Yui lied, about… about everything…" And with that, she held the boy tighter.
Right now, she hated Yui, hated Yui, and NERV and her sisters and all of Tokyo-bloody-3. She hated it all for killing her wonder at the Real World, for taking her innocence and abusing it, for making her feeling like this, and above all for making her run crying to the arms of some man like the weak-willed heroine from some thinly-veiled misogynistic Harlequin dime novel.
But that didn't stop her from taking comfort in Kaworu's dainty arms, and relaxing in his rose and strawberry scent…
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Zeruel gave out a final proclamation as the battle, finally, ended:
"Tabris… is F_ing gay!"
Kaworu scratched the butter-coated knife across the thickly sliced piece of toast, the final item of his morning breakfast after his usual meal of three eggs, a Belgian waffle with pecans, porridge, cereal, a grapefruit and a glass each of milk and the juice du jour. Today was grape, from the vineyards of Normandy.
For the remainder of that night, he and Kei sat on the couch, he holding her as she sobbed herself inarticulate. All the while she tried to tell him what happened as he held on to her, rubbing small circles into her back. As the dawn broke she finally cried herself out, and Kaworu convinced her to take one of the rooms on the estate.
That was yesterday. She had spent the whole day asleep, and today it seemed like she would spend it in bed again.
Washing down the last of his meal, Kaworu meditated on what Kei had managed to tell him of what happened. The only bits that were even slightly intelligible were "Yui… Ichi… lied" and "Kiel… JUDAS," in other words all but meaningless gibberish for all the good it did. Still, looking through Kiel's files was most enlightening in clearing things up.
The Adamite Nephilim stood up and walked to the ceiling high window, looking over the immaculate garden beyond in the morning light. To the entire world he looked like a King contemplating the universe, which held a grain of truth to it, but on a both larger and smaller scale at once.
He was interrupted from his ruminations as he heard the door open behind him, and the voice of one of the maids spoke softly across the distance.
"Mister Nagisa? Doctor Ikari is on the phone. She says that she is on her way here and wishes to speak with you about our guest."
"Yes… I assume that she does. Very well, send a chuffer to pick her up, and set up a table and tea set for Doctor Ikari and myself would you?"
An hour later saw Yui and Kaworu sitting at opposite sides of a small wrought-iron table on the patio across from the rose garden, the flowers in full bloom and Kaworu, as was his duty as a gentleman and as the host, pouring tea for his guest. Yui looked like she had seen better days. Much better days. Her skin was pale, there were rings under her eyes, and she seemed to have been running on emotional fumes.
"Thank you." She said quietly, taking a sip as the Angel of Free Will took his seat. "Where is Kei?"
"Resting at the moment, she had a busy day the other day, so I think that it would be best that she relax for now. Wouldn't you agree?"
The scientist solemnly nodded. "Yes. Yes it is."
Kaworu took a sip from his own drink in silence. Let her make the first move. He knew exactly what she was here for, and it would be insulting to her to assume that she didn't know that he knew.
"Can… Can I see her? When she wakes up that is."
Kaworu gently placed his cup on its saucer, looking down at the brown fluid within for a moment, considering the question.
"Yui... I know about what happened at NERV." The woman opposite him tensed at that. "Right now, I think it would be best if you and Kei were to spend time apart for a while. Let the nerves cool, then we can try reconciliation. But even so, I think it should be Kei that reaches out, considering her mood. You know how she is."
"I'm sorry Nagisa, but I can't simply let this sit and fester. I need to fix this and I need to do it now!"
"Yui." The tone was even and respectful, but the expression was authoritative. "You know who I am with SEELE, you know precisely what I am, and what I'm capable of if pressed. That was not a suggestion, it was not a request. As SEELE One, I am ordering you to leave this be for now. Please."
The table was silent for an eternal second, when Yui steeled herself and stood up quickly. "That may be Nagisa, but Kei is still my daughter, and I need to make this right, even if I have to lose everything to do it." And with that, she stalked towards the door, most likely to find whatever room Kei was staying in and force a scene that would not end pretty.
Kaworu didn't even turn from his tea.
"Does Commander Ikari know about the reality of Ichi's existence?"
Yui froze, hand on the door handle, knuckles bone white as silence reigned. In truth, Kaworu didn't know whether or not Yui had disclosed that information with her husband just yet, but if Kihl taught him anything, it was that vagueness often made up for a lack of information.
"I would recommend that you get your own house in order Doctor Ikari. Hopefully by the next meeting I can relay Kei's thoughts on this matter, and any terms that she wishes honored if she doesn't wish to come home. Outside of any official meeting of course… And other than you and myself, I think SEELE Six would make an excellent third-party witness to this, considering his relationship to the affected parties. But until then, like I said, I think it would be for the best if you simply left for now."
"…Yes. Of course." The defeat in her voice was palpable. "I will see you then Kaworu. Good-bye."
"Good-bye. I'll be sure to send Kei your regards."
"Thank you…" And with those parting words, Yui left the estate, and on the way home.
Kaworu put his tea down, and rubbed his forehead. This was a true mess.
"Is she gone?"
With surprise Kaworu looked up to one of the second floor windows, to see a bathrobe-clad Kei looking down, her hair dripping wet. The garment was about two sizes too big for her lithe frame, so it slipped off of one ivory shoulder, and the sleeves extending beyond the length of her arms. The overall effect was to bring to mind a young child getting ready for bed. And it was absolutely adorable.
'Oh dear, I didn't realize this patio was underneath her bedroom.' "Yes, I believe so. How much did you hear?"
"All of it."
"I see. …What do you think?"
"It's all a ploy. I see no other reason for her to be here other than to ensure I don't do anything… rash."
"That's rather cynical of you my dear. Could it just be that she wants her daughter back?"
The lilithian nephilim simply rolled her eyes at that as she adjusted the slipping robe.
"Of course she wants her daughter back Kaworu, that's why she let my unstable sisters and I live so long: so that she could pretend Rei Ikari isn't inside Unit-01."
Kaworu balked at that cold dismissal, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Ahh… I see. Well, in any case it's good to see you up and about Kei. Are you feeling better?"
"I no longer feel like the world is ending if that's what you mean…"
"Well, there should be some clothes left over from you previous stay here in the dresser. It may be early, but I think some lunch at that little bistro you liked so much is in order."
She smiled at that. "Thanks Kaworu, that sounds lovely." And with that she turned and went back within.
Kaworu's gentle smile faded as she left his sight. He knew that, once convinced, you would be hard pressed to make Kei change her mind. So he wouldn't push, but he would support her decisions in this, and be her friend and shoulder.
Another day, another boring meeting. Joy.
It had taken four days total to restore communications with NERV, and an additional one to check all the securities to ensure that there would be no way for anyone to take advantage of the mess to sneak in a bug onto the SEELE network.
Finally, they could have this emergency meeting so that the Old Men could be debriefed.
"And that concludes the last of the debriefing pertaining to the Zeruel battle." said SEELE 01, "Is there any additional business, questions or specific concerns? Other than the sub-committee's search for a suitable new SEELE 05 of course. No? Then this meeting is adjourned. Doctor Ikari? SEELE 06 and myself have additional matters we would like to discuss with you."
"What matters? This was not in the agenda" SEELE 07, ever the annoyingly nosy busy-body. Fortunately, Katsuhito was more than willing to step in.
"We merely wish to speak with Doctor Ikari on inconsequential matters of a private nature. Rest assured that they have nothing to do with our main goals."
Yui knew precisely just what the "private matters" were. This was the moment she had been hoping for, and dreading, for the past three days. "Yes sir. I'm free."
"Excellent."
The remaining monoliths faded away, with SEELE 07 being the last after a moment's hesitation. Then, SEELE's 01 and 06 winked out and were instantly replaced with the shapes of Kaworu Nagisa and Katsuhito Ikari, the former at Lorenz' desk and the latter in blue pajamas and sitting in bed. At the looks he received from both his new associate and his daughter, the Elder Ikari sighed.
"My joints have been giving me problems lately, and my doctor insisted that I get bed rest until further notice. But that is neither here nor there."
"Ahem, certainly," said Kaworu, cutting off that train of thought, "now then Yui, about your daughter…"
"Yes? Has she..."
Kei's image joined the simulation, clad in the kind of rigidly formal clothing one might wear to a funeral. That was probably a bad sign; something made worse by the utterly rigid mask her expression was set in.
"Professor Ikari," she said, with a curt nod to her grandfather. "Doctor Ikari," did not get the same gesture.
"Kei... I need to talk, I can explain..."
"I am sure that you have had time to come up with an explanation," Kei said, in a monotone. "However, I am quite beyond caring. I requested this meeting because I wished to establish ground rules for any future interactions between myself and NERV-linked individuals."
"You don't need to do this! I... I know I've been hiding the truth sometimes, but I... I didn't realise..." Yui blinked, and swallowed. "Please don't! Everyone is missing you, and..."
"I am glad my sisters are missing me," the girl stated. "Because if they were not missing, they would be hitting, and I have no intentions of letting that happen."
Internally, Yui winced. They were having to keep Siyon sedated to prevent her from giving chase, and the products of the Reetrix had definitely taken a turn for the worse. "That's not true..." she began.
"Liar." The word was bullet-like. "I know them." She cleared her throat. "Let us be clear here. I don't want to see you again. I am realistic enough to acknowledge that this cannot be done; hence, any meetings shall be done over secure communication-link, and are to remain purely official in content, tone, and capacity. Any breach in those conditions will result in disconnection. The same level of contact will be extended to others, such as your genetic son, with the exception of what you would call 'my sisters', but who are more accurately described as 'other examples of the Ayanami geneline'." Her eyes narrowed slightly, the first sign of motion in that pale face. "I know that any meeting between us will likely result in at least one death, and if they come en masse, it will be mine. That is not a desired outcome, from my point of view," she said flatly.
"You can't just treat them all like they're Siyon," Yui errupted.
"Can't I?"
"You shouldn't!" her mother said, wringing her hands in front of her. "You can't just cut yourself off from your sisters, or act like Kiko is Siyon, or..."
"You do not want to get started on 'shouldn't' or 'can't' with me, Dr Ikari," Kei said, flatly. "I don't want them anywhere near me. I don't want to hear a stupid elongated 'hey' greeting ever again." She blinked. "Fortunately, you already have plenty of experience keeping your little dolls locked up in your Tokyo-3 playhouse, so an agreement which keeps us all safe should not inconvenience you in any way. I would hate to be an inconvenience."
"That passive-aggressive tone isn't helping either of us," Yui retorted, something snapping inside from being lectured by that too-familiar face in that too-familiar voice. She blinked hard, balling her fists. "Please... I'm begging, don't do this. Don't run away like this, from everyone, from me..."
"You are not my mother," Kei said, the blank mask of her face unchanging. "I do not have a mother. What you are is one of the genetic donors involved in my construction, and a non-consensual one at that. I believe the recent events have made the difference eminently clear." She nodded to Professor Ikari. "Thank you for witnessing this... unpleasantness," she said, before she turned back to stare blankly at her tear-stained mother. "I believe I have made my points, so there is no point in me being here any more. We can agree the fine points by email, if you will consent to be properly business-like about the whole matter."
"Kei! No! I'm sorry!"
The blue-haired girl had already disconnected.
Anyone who knew the pair of them would have been entirely unsurprised to know that, that night, there was sobbing come from two separate bedrooms, on the other side of the world from each other.
THE BEGINNING...
Author's Note: I'd like to thank Earth Scorpion (the author of the Aeon Natum Engel/Aeon Entelechy Evangelion stories here on FF Net) for revising the last scene here. The original version I posted was… not exactly well received, and upon reflection was quite poorly executed.
When my last Nobody Dies apocrypha work, Everybody Dies was canonized in chapter 68, and the fallout being shown theirin and afterward, it started a chain of thought events in my mind of how this might affect things down the road. After some thought, it became obvious: Kei may in fact run away, her relationship with NERV, the Ree and especially with Yui would be shattered. I then proposed on the Space Battles thread a possible future that in retrospect bares some similarity to Gregg's other fic Walking In The Shadow Of Dreams, only it's Kei who's disowned herself from NERV and not Asuka, and would in fact focus on her daughter with Kaworu.
The idea was well recieved, and Earth Scorpian has even written a few cutsie snippets based on the child's early life, that he may or may not post here. I still intend to do the idea of "Kei's daughter Learns Mommy's Dark Past," but I felt that it would be best if I did the backstory for this AU, the point in which this AU diverges from ND Canon. This little number.