I stood there, like an awkward stake in the ground. My eyes were fixed on John's back.

He came back for me. A small part of me had hoped he would come back - for me, to be with me. A selfish part of me, that is. There were other numbers to be had. I refused to view myself as a special case.

The words he had said to justify his rescuing me, something about him owing me. I could barely remember them given the rush from the whole situation. Yet as I looked at him, I realized that it hurt. He had said that he owed me, that he might as well return a favor? Nothing more than an instinct to protect his honor. He didn't care for me; the way I had grew to care for him.

I had warned myself several times against getting a partner for this very reason. I was a middle aged man, alone in the world. Just as I had done before, I would make a relationship where there wasn't one. I let my emotions take over my reason. The night Joh- Mr. Reese had been shot and I had aimlessly driven to the location, in spite of all the risks. The risk that we would both be captured and the numbers would be lost forever. Countless people would have continued to die for my own self-interested thoughts. Lovers split apart, orphans made – all due to my weakness for John.

My love for him.

Even though I tried to persuade myself against it, the feeling was there. I loved this man. Not for his looks – far more than that. For his selflessness, his good nature behind his anguish and self-loathing, even his teasing. I often wished I could scrub the shame he felt away. I lazily dreamed of a time when I could finally baptize him of his gnawing sins. They clung to him like dried blood, brown and pungent.

My bandaged hand stroked the chewed book spine I held. I called his name. It felt dry on my lips. He turned, his light eyes searching mine. He was worried about me again. It warmed my heart to thinking he still wanted to help me. Or perhaps he was worried I might kick out the dog. Yes, that was probably it.

I love you. I wanted to say it. Just to see what he would do. If anything, I could blame the phrase on the trauma of the day. I love you, Mr. Reese. Can't you see that?

My mind flashed back to the train station. Lying down on the ground, my entire body screaming in protest to my position. For a moment, I had the illusion that I had been shot. I had been waiting for a red pool to appear next to me. Then there were long fingered hands, running up and down my body. If only they could do that for another reason.

Sorry I took so long

Why did you even come was my question. I had a flash of bitterness, pulled back in the present under his glare. I wished he had never come. He had given me hope. Hope that he cared for me.

"I own you a debt."

There was a flicker of disbelief behind his eyes. And pain. He had a spark of rejection swimming in those eyes. I regretted my words as soon as they left my mouth. I took a quick breath to say what I had meant to say, what I knew all along.

The phone rang.

A/N – My first attempt at Rinch o.o hope it's ok – also, Coffee Girl and He's A Friend are still active ^^