(A/N: Yeah, I know what you thought when you saw the 'New Fanfic' notice in your Inbox: "2wingo? I thought that ass-clown dropped off the face of the Earth." But yes, I'm back, and I'm writing this smut-fic to clear out the cobwebs. A full explanation for why the new chapters of "Impeding Nuptials" and "Deadliest Warrior" are roughly . . . a year overdue will be given when I update them soon. Probably soon. Definitely SOMETIME in the next century. I think. Maybe. Just Read & Review, okay?)
Disclaimer: The writer of this fanfiction makes no claim of ownership to any of the characters contained herein, with Kick-Ass, Hit-Girl, and other official "Kick-Ass" characters being the intellectual property of Mark Miller, Marvel Comics, and by extension the Disney Corporation. The characters Angela and Jessi are the intellectual property of Makokam. No profit was incurred from the writing of this fanfiction.
World Note: In case it wasn't clear, while this story is an AU of Makokam's PC-verse, it is not related to either "Afterglow" or "Impending Nuptials."
Mindy drove her car into the parking lot of the small bed & breakfast and killed the engine. She made sure to look around carefully before she got out. The likelihood of meeting anyone who would recognize her was minimal here, but it was always better to be safe than to be sorry, especially when one was having an affair and wanted to be discreet about it. Mindy checked her watch; it was half past eight, and her lover was likely waiting for her up in their room.
She pulled her overnight bag from the backseat and walked inside, taking a minute to admire the rustic decor. The hostess at the front desk smiled and said, "Checking in?"
"Yes," replied Mindy, "I'm supposed to be in room 6. My name is Samantha Genovese."
"Ah, yes," said the hostess, checking her books, "your traveling companion told me to expect you. It's just up the stairs, down the hall and on the left."
Mindy signed the guest ledger and went up to the room, knocking gently on the door to signal her arrival.
"It's open," said the soft voice from within. Mindy opened the door and was treated to a most pleasing sight: Stretched out luxuriously across the large bed, dressed in her bra and panties, was her longtime friend, part-time lover, Jessi Mynhaardt.
They made love for the first time nearly a year ago, on a night that Dave was out of town. Mindy had gone out with Jessi and Angela to some club or another, and found herself drinking more than she was used to.
"Mindy, what's wrong?" said Angela.
"What makes you think anything's wrong?" she replied.
"You're on your third drink and you've got the personality of a damp sponge, tonight," said Jessi, "So c'mon, what's bothering you?"
Mindy was quiet for a moment, but finally said, "Dave."
"Are you guys having problems?" asked Angela.
"No," said Mindy, knocking back the rest of her drink, "we almost never fight, he's caring and attentive, and after all the years we spent dating and 18 months of marriage, he's still a total quim ninja."
"How horrible," said Jessi, voice dripping with sarcasm, "it must be so terrible to have such a wonderful husband."
"But that's just it," said Mindy, "when it comes to men, Dave is all I know. I just feel . . . I don't know, cheated or something, like a miner who just picked up a diamond off the ground without having to dig through all the coal to get to it."
"So, you're bothered that Dave's the only man you've ever been with?" Angela motioned to the bartender to bring them another round.
"Maybe, a little," said Mindy, "I mean, it's like reading a book: where's the fun in skipping the whole adventure just by turning the page to the ending? I never got to have the experiance of searching for the right man before I found him."
"Mindy," said Jessi, "you're not thinking about having an affair, are you?"
"I don't know," she replied, ". . . Maybe."
"You're late," said Jessi, assuming a coquettish position and pouting her lips, "I've been sitting here for almost 15 minutes all alone."
"So sorry to make you wait," said Mindy in a facetious, yet seductive tone, "but you know what they say: 'Anticipation makes the appetite grow stronger.'"
Mindy opened the light purple overcoat she was wearing to reveal what she was wearing to Jessi. Or rather, reveal what she wasn't wearing. Mindy wore nothing besides a crotchless black leather teddy and her knee-high black boots.
"See anything you like?" she whispered, her voice breathy with anticipation. Jessi replied by launching herself from the bed, wrapping her arms around Mindy's neck, and pulling her into a passionate kiss. Jessi shoved her gently onto the bed, maneuvering their bodies so that she had herself pressed firmly on top of Mindy. She finally broke the kiss, letting a thin trail of spit fall from her chin.
"Don't ever make me wait like that again," said Jessi, her voice husky with sexual frustration. She lightly slapped Mindy's cheek to emphasis her point.
"Traffic was a little heavy on the Interstate," Mindy began, but Jessi silenced her with a slightly harder slap.
"I didn't give you permission to talk," she growled softly, "and you know what the punishment is for talking out of turn." Jessi stood over Mindy, removed her panties, and threw them aside. She then grabbed Mindy by her hair and pulled her up until her lips were almost directly against Jessi's labia.
"I'm sorry, Jessi," Mindy said in a subservient manner.
"That's 'I'm sorry MISTRESS Jessi' to you," said Jessi, twisting Mindy's hair, "Now stop talking and get to work on your punishment!"
Mindy obediently worked her tongue between the folds of Jessi's slippery love tunnel, causing her to moan and squirm in pleasure.
"Yes, Mindy, yes," said Jessi, pressing her hands against the wall to stabilize herself, "Just like that! OH!" Every muscle twitched uncontrollably as a fierce orgasm worked its way through Jessi's body. Her warm, wet juices gushed out of her crease, which Mindy lapped up like a woman dying of thirst.
Jessi slid down onto the bed, grabbed Mindy by the chin, and pulled her into a kiss, briefly tasting herself on Mindy tongue.
"Have you learned your lesson, you little slut?" snapped Jessi.
"Yes, Mistress Jessi," said Mindy, her eyes wide as a doe's.
"Good," said Jessi with a smile, "Then it's now time for your reward."
Jessi was always the sexually dominant one in their relationship. With Dave, their lovemaking had always been more combative, with Mindy and him fighting to assert dominance over one another, neither ever truly winning, but both always willing to try again. With Jessi, it was different; from the time they had begun the affair to this very night, Jessi, usually a quiet, submissive woman who just went along with what Mindy and Angela were doing, became an almost tyrannical sexual goddess, taking whatever sexual favors she wanted from Mindy and giving many in return. Mindy, a strong, independent woman who suffered authority begrudgingly and fools not at all, became putty in her hands, lacking the willpower to refuse any of the demands Jessi placed upon her in bed.
Jessi tore open Mindy's bodice, feasting her eyes upon Mindy's slim yet toned body; her modest but shapely breasts, her firm, flat stomach, and her tight, wet womanhood. She grinned, relishing the thought that only she could make Mindy shiver with anticipation like she was now. Taking out two pairs of handcuffs, she then closed them around Mindy's wrists, effectively chaining her to the bed.
"So, now what do you want me to do?" asked Jessi. She lightly trailed her index finger around Mindy's clit, then began to slowly push it in.
"Me," gasped Mindy as Jessi's finger began to make a 'come hither' motion inside her, "I want you to do me." Jessi withdrew her finger abruptly, savoring the sweet, salty taste of Mindy as she licked it clean.
"Ask, and you shall receive," said Jessi. She reached over the side of the bed and fished around in her bag until she found what she was looking for: a red, double-ended, anatomically correct dildo.
"Remember Big Red?" asked Jessi, rubbing one of the ends around Mindy's opening, "Because he sure remembers you."
"Oh, I remember, I remember," panted Mindy, "Mistress Jessi, please, I feel like I'm on fire!"
"Patience, my love, is a virtue," said Jessi, "First, let me introduce you to a new friend of Big Red's: Black Bess." Again she reached into her bag, this time pulling out a black vibrator.
"Um, I know my pussy is tight," said Mindy, "but that thing's a little too thin."
"Oh, no," said Jessi, smiling wickedly, "it's not going in your pussy."
The first night had started badly. After she had confessed her frustration to her friends, Mindy, unabashedly drunk off her ass, had ended up dancing with a guy who was quick to invite her back to his place. But before she could answer, Angela and Jessi dragged her away from the dance floor and into a cab with them. Aside from directing the driver to take them to Dave and Mindy's place, none of them said a word.
When they arrived, Angela, who was fairly drunk herself, passed out on the couch. Jessi, who had stuck to low-alcohol aperitifs, was only buzzed. For a while, she and Mindy sat in silence before Mindy excused herself to go to the bathroom. Jessi went into the kitchen to make some coffee and tried to ignore the sound of Mindy throwing up her Long Island iced teas. Mindy returned a few minutes later, looking peaky but a lot steadier.
"Well?" asked Mindy.
"'Well' what?" said Jessi, handing Mindy a cup and pouring one for herself.
"Aren't you going to go off on me about how I acted tonight?" Mindy sat down, her eyes red and puffy. "I was ready to cheat on Dave with a guy I'd only just met. Damn it all to Hell, I was going to say YES!"
Tears began to stream down Mindy's face as Angela gently pulled her into a hug.
"It's okay," whispered Jessi, stroking Mindy's hair, "It's okay . . ."
"Jessi," said Mindy, mildly alarmed as Jessi rubbed Vaseline on the vibrator, "I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with - OH MY GOD!"
Jessi grabbed Mindy by her left knee, rammed the vibrator into her ass-hole, and turned it on. Mindy began to shudder and twitch from the unfamiliar, though obviously not unwelcome, sensation.
"How does that feel?" said Jessi.
"OH GOD," screamed Mindy, "OH GOD, IT FEELS SO GOOD. PLEASE, FUCK ME NOW! JUST TAKE BIG RED AND FUCK ME RIGHT NOW!"
Jessi was happy to oblige. Taking one end of Big Red into herself, she slowly pushed the other into Mindy and began thrusting rhythmically.
"YES," howled Mindy, "I FEEL LIKE I'M ON FIRE! OH GOD, OH GOD, I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO - TO CUUUMMMMMMMMMM!"
Jessi continued for some time, during which they both had multiple orgasms, before they finally came together, totally spent. Jessi wearily removed the vibrator, cast aside the dildo, and released Mindy from the handcuffs before collapsing next to her on the bed.
"I think this is the best session we've ever had," said Mindy, breathing hard.
"Me too," said Jessi, brushing a few strands of hair out of Mindy's eyes.
The two lovers kissed for a while before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The rest of the night was a blur for Mindy; all she remembered was feeling so sad and still sexually frustrated, Jessi taking her up to bed, her asking Jessi to stay with her, and waking up hungover the next morning to see Jessi lying there naked, and the bed sheets torn in several places.
It was nearly three days before Mindy finally got up the courage to go over to Jessi's apartment so they could talk about what had happened. Unfortunately, they hadn't gotten much talking done before they found themselves making love on the floor of Jessi's bedroom. Whatever was happening between the two of them, it obviously wasn't going to just go away.
The next morning, as Jessi and Mindy were lying in bed, spooning, Jessi said, "You know, we can't keep this up forever."
Mindy turned and looked at Jessi, not wanting to have this conversation but knowing that it had been put off for too long already.
"I know," she said, "We can't lie to Dave about this forever. We've been careful about covering our tracks, but Dave isn't stupid."
"And even if we could," said Jessi, "I don't really want to. I love you, Mindy, and I don't want to give you up, but Dave is my friend, too, and I could never forgive myself if I was party to the two of you getting divorced."
"And believe me, I don't either," said Mindy, "I couldn't go on without Dave. He's not just my husband or my lover or my partner. He's my fucking SOULMATE. But without you, a piece of me just feels . . . I don't know, incomplete or something."
"So the salient question is, how do we have our cake and eat it, too?"
Mindy lay there for a minute, turning the issue over in her mind. Suddenly, a little light bulb went on in her head.
"You know what?" she asked Jessi, a sly smile creeping across her face, "I think I have an idea."
Mindy eventually decided that she and Jessi would only make love after Mindy saved Dave's life.
"That way, it isn't cheating," Mindy told herself, "It's just my . . . little reward. An occasional dalliance to celebrate my being a good wife and saving my husband."
Mindy tried to keep to this system, and managed it for a while, but at this point in their superhero careers, Dave was as good as Mindy and didn't need saving very often. So she began to stray, seeking out Jessi at whatever holiday or family gatherings they ended up at together for a secret kiss, which more often than not led to making out and sex.
Once or twice, she and Jessi would go away together, under the pretense that Jessi and Angela were dragging Mindy along with them on a "spa weekend" or some such nonsense. Dave never suspected a thing, even smiling and chuckling at Mindy's feigned annoyance at the actions of her crazy friends.
Dave was exhausted. Work had been hard, he and Mindy had run themselves ragged taking down a new group of costumed assholes looking to start a gang war the previous day, and in between he'd only gotten, maybe, four hours of sleep.
He checked his watch; it was only about 10 o'clock, but all the lights were off as he pulled into the driveway. He shrugged, figuring that Mindy had just gone to bed early.
He moved quietly through the house until he reached the bedroom. Looking in, his theory appeared to be correct; he saw Mindy's outline, lying under the light sheets they used during the summer months. Undressing and crawling in next to her, he lightly kissed her cheek and lay down, ready to sleep.
Just as he was drifting off, he felt her start kissing his neck, and her hand snaked down past the brim of his pajama pants to grab hold of his member.
"Honey," he protested weakly, "I'm really tired tonight. Can we take a rain check?"
Her lips began to move slowly down his neck, across his chest, and eventually to his groin, stopping to take his now fully erect manhood in her mouth.
Ah, what the Hell, he thought, I don't have work tomorrow.
But then, just as he reached down to squeeze her breasts in that way she really liked, Dave realized something: the breast he was holding was larger than Mindy's, and from the feeling of her head against his arm, the hair was also a lot curlier than Mindy's ever got. Whoever this woman was, she wasn't Mindy. Kicking her to the side, Dave leapt out of bed and hit the light switch.
"JESUS CHRIST!"
"What the HELL, Dave?!"
"ANGELA?!"
Angela shook her head, still reeling a little from the kick Dave gave her.
"Angela," said Dave, calming himself slightly, "what in the flying fuck are you doing in my bed? Where is Mindy? What in the howling blue thunderfuck was that all about?"
"She's spending the night with Jessi," said Angela, pulling the covers up to her chest, "She told me she texted you."
"My phone's turned off," said Dave. He picked up his pants, dug around for the phone, and checked his messages. Sure enough, there was one from Mindy.
Hey baby. Staying with Jessi tonight. Sent Angela over to take care of you while I'm gone. We'll talk in the morning. ~ Mindy. P.S. Have fun ;)
"Wait a minute," Dave said, dropping his phone, "Are Mindy and Jessi . . .?"
"Yep," said Angela, "So, since I'm here, we might as well do it, too."
"Angela, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable -"
Angela pulled the covers down to reveal her body to Dave. Not as toned as Mindy's, but still slim and athletic.
"On the other hand, it couldn't hurt to step outside my comfort zone a little."
"I thought you'd say as much," said Angela. She beckoned Dave back to the bed, "Now come here. I want to show you something I can do for you that Mindy can't."
(A/N: So . . . yeah. I'm really not sure about the narrative style I used here, so please, don't be afraid to really critique this fic. What are its strengths, what are its weaknesses, how good was the lesbian smut? Just Review and let me know.)