Hi guys. So this is a renewed edition of my "Origins of Grell Sutcliff" story since I had a few ideas and decided to write a few more chapters instead of just one. I totally fell in love with this series and my heart is bleeding about the latest chapter (omg the plot twist ahhh) and I need an outlet to rant all the feels. I like Sebastian the most but I also like Grell since he's pretty cool and the way he acts around Sebastian and William is just hilarious. Also when I was reading the manga when I came to the part when they told how a person becomes a Shinigami (this is around chapter 105-106 : shoutout to Tirnel for the info!) , this is the first thing that came to my mind about Grell. So here is the fanfic. I don't own most of the characters. They belong to the awesome Yana Toboso sensei!

Grell sat at the corner of the room, watching his younger sister playing house with her friends. As he watched, his fingers itched to grab hold of one of the dolls and stroke its head. The more he pretended to be immersed in the book he was supposed to read, the more he wanted to join his sister. "Those dresses… so pretty…" he thought to himself when he felt a looming presence near him.

"Grell, you're supposed to go play cricket outside now," his governess scolded him and he pouted. "I don't like cricket," he said simply and he howled not long after when the governess grabbed him by the air and pulled him out of the room. As he was dragged out, his sister's friend whispered to her something that he couldn't hear. But he managed to get a hold of his sister's reply : "He's just weird," was what she said. His heart sank as he was dragged out into the hot summer sun.

"It's so hot! I'm going to get a tan!" he yelled as the governess deposited him on the ground. "You're going to be a gentleman and to be a gentleman you need to know how to play cricket!" she snapped as he got up. His red hair fell over his forehead and the governess made a tsked sound. "I wish your mother would allow me to cut your hair. A gentleman with long hair is just preposterous!" she said.

"Well then, I don't want to be a gentleman! I want to dress up in nice dresses and go to a ball in style!" he shouted back. Not long after, he was seeing stars as something connected with his cheek and he stumbled to the ground, placing a hand on his stinging cheek. "Don't say such foul things! You're a man and that's that!" she shouted just as the sound of feet came from behind.

"Governess Claudia! What on earth did you do to Grell?!" a woman shouted and the governess whirled around to see Grell's mother standing behind them, a hand on her mouth. "Madam, this boy is saying such ridiculous things! He wants to be a woman he says," she started to say when Grell's mother put up a hand. "That's enough! I won't let you place a hand on my child ever again! You are to leave the premises immediately!" she ordered and the governess glared at Grell before turning her heel, stomping back into the mansion.

"Are you alright, Grell?" his mother asked as she cleaned him put. He winced as she stroked his cheek. "What did I do wrong, Mother?" he asked as she dabbed his cheek with a handkerchief. "You did nothing wrong. You're still a child so you're not sure of what to say or do yet. Come, let's get some tea. Anna is waiting for us," she said and Grell felt his heart sink. After what Anna had said about him, he didn't want to face his sister at all but he reluctantly followed his mother into the house.

…

"I wonder what's taking Brother so long?" Anna wondered aloud to her mother, who was tapping her foot impatiently. "That boy…" his father growled just as the double doors leading to Grell's room burst open and Grell came waltzing out. "Look at me! Don't I look fabulous?" he cried out, twirling in a red dress. He even had his hair done up in an up do and he had some jewelry on. For a moment the hall was silent until his sister decided to voice out.

"Are those my clothes?!" she blurted and Grell giggled. "Don't they look great on me?" he grinned just as his father marched up the stairs and slapped him across the face. Grell reeled back in surprise as he fell backwards. "What on earth is this ridiculous idea?!" he yelled and Grell trembled. "I just wanted to look good at the party…" he started to say when his father yanked him by the ear into his room. "You are a gentleman and a gentleman does not go around in a woman's clothing! I've tolerated this nonsense long enough! When you're of age, you're going to Weston College for boys!" he shouted.

He threw Grell into his room and slammed the doors, quickly telling the butler that he was ill and wouldn't be able to go for the party with them. As Grell slumped against the doors of his bedroom, listening as the low rumble of carriage wheels pulling out of the estate filled the hall. He buried his face in the folds of the dress and started to sob. "What am I?" he whispered to himself as he cried himself to sleep that night.

…

Years passed and he was admitted into Weston College. He gulped as he stepped through the doors of the school, suitcase in hand. As he walked through, he took a deep breath and a grin formed on his face. "My my. The smell of hot men is filling the air!" he grinned to himself as he marched into the school. His life at school began fairly well until things took a turn for the worst when he was in his fifth year.

He watched as Adam moved through the crowd, talking to some of the ladies in attendance. Grell leaned against the wall wearing a suit that he itched to remove form his body. He tugged at his collar as if to try to loosen the choking grip it had on his throat when he noticed Adam receiving a letter from one of the footmen. Grell smiled to himself as Adam scanned the words on the paper and looked up at Grell's direction. Grell beckoned him with a finger to move to one of the private rooms at the end of the hall.

When the boys had entered the room, Adam looked at him with shining eyes. "So what's up? You've come to me for help to ask a lady for a dance?" Adam grinned. Grell's heart was clenched but at the same time he needed to get the words out. "I like you," he blurted to him. For a moment Adam starred at him before laughing his head off. "What do you mean? We're pals right?" he said but Grell grabbed his hands. "No. I mean more than that. I really like you," he said and at that moment Adam's eyes started to show some panic.

"Stop spouting nonsense," Adam hissed but Grell attempted to come closer. "Get away from me!" Adam yelled as Grell . "But why not?!" Grell asked as he got closer to Adam. The boy looked at him with fear, as though a wild animal was in front of him. "Guys don't go after other guys! This is not right!' he yelled. "But I…" Grell started to say when Adam smacked his hand away from him. "Get away from me you creep!" he yelled as he ran out of the room. Grell stared at his own hand before looking at his image in the mirror. "I'm a freak, am I?" he whispered to himself as he tried to hold back his tears.

…

Grell plodded his way through the snow, his head bowed under his hat. As he made his way through the crowd, some people turned to whisper to him. "What's with him, wearing red like that? So unlike a man," a woman whispered to her companion. "Youngsters these days… they're full of nonsense aren't they?" her friend continued as Grell walked passed by them.

As he made the cornering to a tall building, he glanced at the young men and women walking arm in arm, enjoying the light snow falling from the sky. As Grell looked at them, his heart clenched at the thought of not wanting to be in that position. "What's wrong with me?" he wondered to himself as he tugged his coat tighter. He loved the colour red but people would always tell him it was unsuitable for a man. Even his hair was a bright red and people called him weird for that. He liked women's clothing and even attempted to borrow some from his sister, who refused to speak to him from then on.

He soon found himself wandering up the steps of a tower, the wind sweeping from every small cranny available, making him shiver with the cold. As he made his way to the top of the tower, he looked out to see London covered with snow. "Such a beautiful. But full of rotten people," he said to himself. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his body fall down from the building.

When he fell to the earth, he felt his bones break and underneath him became moist with blood. As he looked at the ground around him, he smiled. "Such a beautiful red," he whispered just as he saw two figures above him. "Man, not again," a man said as he adjusted his spectacles. "Stupid of him to do that," his partner said as he hoisted an axe on his shoulder. What is a man doing with an axe in the middle of London? Grell wondered to himself as his vision became blurry.

"Grell Sutcliff. Born 18 May 1769. Died 7 June 1795. Cause of death, suicide," the first male said as Grell's head spun. He lost focus on the world around him and slipped into a sea of darkness. When he finally regained consciousness, he found himself in a white room in a bed, his body clad in a white garment. As he looked at the ceiling, he began to panic. "Am I dead? What's wrong with my vision?! I can't see?!" he blurted to himself as he shot upright. As he sat up, he felt on the table next to him until he felt a pair of glasses sitting there.

He put them on and slowly got up, examining himself. No injuries… strange… I knew I had broken my back but how can I still move? Grell thought as he walked out of the room. Before he knew it, he was hit with a flash of light and he cried out, falling onto the ground. "Grell Sutcliff. You have committed the grave act of ending your own life. For that reason, you are sentenced to eternal servitude to the Grim Reaper Association until the powers above forgive you of your sins. Until then, you are to work hard in the collection of people's souls," a voice said and Grell yelled.

"What the hell?! I thought I can get rid of all my problems by killing myself and now I have to work for eternity?!" he yelled. "That is your punishment for taking your own life. You will be given a few days to recuperate. After that, your training as a Grim Reaper starts. Oh, and I hope you don't mind being near-sighted. All Reapers are like that so don't worry," the voice said and the lights went off. Grell lay on the ground, putting his hands on his head and sobbing. As he gripped onto his body, he muttered, "I hate myself."

Fun fact : Do you know that Jun Fukuyama who voices Grell Sutcliff also voiced Lelouch in Code Geass, Koro sensei in Assassination classroom and Kazuma in Noragami? These are the main anime I have watched that included him so sorry if I don't include his other voice acting roles.

All comments are welcomed!