The Shadows Inside
Mild spoilers for GMG arc (manga and anime)
They were in him.
Shadows, so many shadows. Darkness, whispering inside him, enticing him, telling him that he would have so much more power if he just killed, just killed everyone in his path, leaving no one in his wake. Kill his enemies, for they would try to usurp him. Kill his allies, for they would not be loyal.
Kill his friends, for they were his greatest weakness.
They never stopped.
Even at his happiest, even with Sting and Frosch and all of his nakama (what a wonderful word: nakama), they were still there. Always in him, driving him insane, trying to break him, trying to overwhelm him, trying to beat him into submission with their endless stream of propaganda.
Kill them, they'd say, Kill them all. And then you will be strong.
He supposed that he only had Skiadrum to blame for this insanity, this bloodlust inside of him.
Kill me, he'd said all those years ago. It will make you stronger. You will have all the power of a Shadow Dragon. I am sick; I have nothing more to gain. But you, my son, you can have everything.
It tainted him, killing his father. It'd been an ugly affair, and what was even worse was that Skiadrum hadn't fought him at all and just sat there while his own son slew him with his own power that he taught him with his own knowledge.
The shadows came for the first time that night.
They festered inside of him.
Everyday they grew stronger, and he could only grow stronger with them in order to not cave in to the darkness inside him. He was lucky; he had help. Sting and Frosch were always there whenever he was particularly weak, and Gajeel became an eternal beacon of hope. After all, he'd been able to escape his past of being Phantom Lord's biggest and baddest. He knew the shadows more than almost anybody.
Just not him.
Sometimes, he wondered if Skiadrum asked him to kill him just so he could escape them.
After all, the Shadow Dragon'd had to deal with them for centuries. He'd only known the shadows for about a decade, yet he was already dying inside. It was bad normally, it was worse while using Shadow Drive, and it was hell in Dragon Force. He needed to heed the shadows' wishes, yet he couldn't, because that would mean betraying Sting, betraying Frosch, betraying his nakama.
And he couldn't do that.
He was stronger than them.
Even after all those nights, alone but for the shadows, even after all the high points and the low points, he'd survived. He hadn't caved in. He was still him. He was still good. He'd survived for this long. He'd survive even longer.
After all, Rogue Cheney wasn't defined by shadows.
A/N: Thank you all for reading. As a reminder, I do not own Fairy Tail; that honor belongs to one (troll) Hiro Mashima.
This will likely be the first chapter/drabble in a multi-chapter fix/set of drabbles. Each one will focus on a dragon slayer (First, Second, and Third Generation) and the presence of their particular type of magic in them, though I think that this first one will be the strongest. I have all of them planned out in my head, and am half way done writing two (White and Poison) as of 3/19/14 or 19/3/14 depending on where you're from.
Please tell me what you think!
~42
UPDATE 4/2/14: I'm reuploading all the chapters with spoiler warnings. Just in case.