so i wrote this as one huge one-shot. but it turned out to be something like 15 pages long or so, so i cut it into several smaller chapters, just to make it slightly easier on your computers.

to be clear (that there was any doubt), i dont own anything to do with FFVII, except this story (if i did own more, Rufus and Reeve would have been together, Jenova would have killed Hojo early on and Aries- wait, no, she'd still be dead.)

"Alright, Sephiroth," the ex-General was seated at staring up nervously at one rough-and-tumble pilot and a smirking ninja. Cloud, his only real support, was banished behind them due to his unofficial bias in the matter, "We've decided!"

One silver eyebrow raised delicately; he was nervous as hell but he'd be damned if he let them know that.

Cid Highwind snorted in distaste at that, "We've decided how to test your 'sanity'." The pilot made a very immature face and attempted a Cloud-voice that really only turned out whinny. It really was amazing that the pilot got along so well with everybody. Er, rather, that they didn't kill him long before this.

"Yes?" this entire discussion thing was going much too slow for him; it's like they were trying to intimidate him or something, except they really didn't know how to do it. He had gotten his first, and only, assassination attempt when he hit the rank of General at fifteen and was finally allowed in Shinra staff meetings. Nothing was as scary as Shinra internal politics. Except maybe a mad Cloud.

The ninja's smirk grew wider and Highwind began the short, fast puffs of his cig that meant he was enjoying himself way too much, "Heh, ya gotta work!"

Sephiroth sighed. If he had know this was what they meant by 'work' he would have never agreed. The conditions were simple; work for three months, without killing anyone or breaking anything, and they would consider him sane enough to 'date' their leader (although, many thought that Cloud was insane himself for wanting to date the ex-General, no matter that they loved each other in the past, and a few, like Tifa and Barrette, refused to think of it as 'dating'; more like 'sharing a room in a friendly-and-entirely-platonic way').

It wouldn't be too bad, right? I mean, he'd trained teenagers to fight and kill things, fought a war, and brought a nation-well two really- to their knees almost single-handedly.

But he hadn't counted on the work.

"I want a cheeseburger without cheese."

He pressed a button on the till, "56 cents, please."

The lady, who was perhaps a little too out-of-shape to be ordering anything from Dairy Queen and seemed to think more was better was a motto with jewelry, frowned, "That's not right. The cheeseburger up there is 70 cents. I want a cheeseburger, no cheese, not whatever you're trying to give me." She pushed up her 60s-esque glasses and tried to lean over the counter that she only topped by about a foot and a half.

"Ma'am, a cheeseburger without cheese is a hamburger. And a hamburger is 56 cents. Please." He held out his hand for the change due.

She huffed, "I don't want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger without cheese."

"That's a hamburger."

"I don't want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger, but no cheese."

"A cheeseburger without cheese is just a hamburger, ma'am."

She sighed, "Can I talk with your manager?"

He blinked, sighed, and turned to drive through where his manager, Tamlyn, was talking with the window person, "Tam? Can you come here, please?"

A raised finger indicated she was busy.

Sephiroth turned back to the lady in resignation, noticing with horror that her shirt was slipping down and two er- um- things were attempting to escape from it. He quickly stared at the ceiling, "She'll be here in just a moment. Is there anything else I can get you in the mean time?"

"No, that's alright dear," she patted his hand where it rested on the counter top, "You seem to be having problems so I'll let you take a break."

His eye twitched.