Of Pirates and Boyfriends…

We all, by now, are well aware of the adventures that Maggie and her genie, Kazoo, have had. Not much time has passed since the two met. But Kazoo has spent enough time with Maggie to know that any amount of time with the little idiot was unhealthy.

So, he was surprised and, admittedly, confused when she came home from school one day with a strange glitter in her eye and announced, "I have a boyfriend!"

In fact, he was so surprised that he fell from his chair.

"WHAT?"

"I have a boyfriend." She twirled a strand of hair around her finger as he spoke. "He's taking me to see the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie tonight."

"… Is he insane?" Kazoo asked.

"Not that I know of. Oh, Kazoo, I'm so excited! I'm going to have so much fun. I'd better get ready. La, la, la!" With that, she bounded off like a great stupid gazelle.

Kazoo cocked his head in a wondering way, wondering how in the heck the little bimbo found herself a man. But, when the boy in question arrived at the doorstep two hours later, he could guess.

The boy in question was about six feet tall, thin as a rail with blond hair and empty blue eyes, and a hint of facial hair beginning to appear on his chin and lips. He was dressed as a pirate, gold belt buckle in all, and when he grinned, two gold teeth showed.

"Ahoy, mate!" the boy said, walking into the house without even being invited, "I be Captain John Robin, king of the seven seas. Argh!"

Unfortunately, a few drops of spit flew out of John's mouth, along with his proclamation, and Kazoo gave him a salty sort of stare while he wiped it off. "Lovely…"

"Oh, John!" Suddenly, Maggie ran down the stairs, dressed like a pirate wench, "I've been looking foreword to this forever. You look handsome!"

"Why, thank ye, luv." John grinned. "You don't look too bad yourself, eh?"

Kazoo sighed. "Yes, well, I believe you know the drill. Have her back at a reasonable time, yada yada…" he pushed the two out of the nouse. "BEGONE, FOUL TEENAGERS!"

He locked the door behind them. The house was still, strangely so. Kazoo was used to Maggie's idiotic ramblings at this hour.

"I'm free," he breathed. Raising his hands to the heavens, he repeated, "I'M FREE!"

-

Fifteen minutes later, Maggie came back to the house, mascara smeared over her cheeks, hair in a tangled mess over her shoulder, visibly disgruntled.

Kazoo groaned. "Aren't you supposed to be out with that idiot boy?"

"No." she plopped down beside him. "He wrecked my night."

"How so?"

"He called my 'bonny lass'." She growled.

Kazoo blinked at her. "What?"

"He called me 'bonny lass'!" she fumed. "How dare he?"

"… Do you… even know what 'bonny lass' means?" Kazoo asked.

"No." she replied.

"… Then why are you insulted?"

"BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SAY IT LIKE CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW SAID IT!" She screamed. "He made it sound all weird and teenagerie! It sucked." She made a sighing noise and settled back down as Kazoo inched away from her. "I wish Captain Jack Sparrow was here with me."

Kazoo's eyes widened. "No. Not that drunk fool. You can't! You mustn't-" but he automatically began to grant her wish. And, momentarily, Jack Sparrow was in the room with them.

His hair was ratty as ever, covered by his sexy tri-cornered hat and red bandana. His clothed where filthy and he held a bottle of rum in one hand. His boots where leaving muddy prints on the beige carpeting, but Maggie didn't care.

"OH MY GOD, CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!" She screamed.

Jack only just seemed to notice her then. Giving her his half-smile and tilting his head in that way that he had, he said, "Allo, luv."

Maggie exploded with movement at that moment, speaking in a high voice that no one understood and dragging Jack along with her to her room. Kazoo winced as their tramping feet could be heard going up the stairs and he regarded the muddy footprints with distaste.

"This can't end well." He muttered.

-

Oh, do I detect a two-part chapter? Or something along those lines?

Hey, my loyal reviewers, I'm back. I won't be updating often by any means, but I will update occasionally. I feel like I've aged so much over the summer!

I've gained a new obsession: Pirates of the Caribbean, and, more importantly, Davy Jones. He's awesome and I don't care what you say!

Well, I've updated, so I beleive that deserves a review. I'll be expecting at least three emails in my inbox by tomorrow!