Star Wars
Episode VI: Return of the Jellybeans
Chapter 1: Jabba's Palace
The usual credits show up and is voiced by Aku Aku.
Aku Aku: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. STAR WARS!!! Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine to free his friend Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. What Luke doesn't know is that the Empire is secretly building a space station much more stronger than the original Death Star. When completed, it will spell- SECOND DEATH STAR?! What the blah what?! We risked our lives destroying the first one and they're building a second one?! I did not sign up for this! I don't remember actually signing up for anything! Eh, what the heck. I love this movie series, anyway. Enjoy the story.
We pan down to see that a second Death Star is under construction and a star destroyer approaches it. Soon an Imperial shuttle is jettisoned from the ship with two TIE fighter escorts heading for the Death Star. As it lands in the hangar, hundreds of troops and officers are lined up. The commander of the Death Star, portrayed by Chariman Drek, approaches. The shuttle opens and Darth Vader, portrayed by Uka Uka, departs from his shuttle.
Commander: Lord Vader, your visit here is unexpected.
Darth Vader: How is the construction on the Death Star?
Commander: We are working as hard as we can. We will have it up and running as soon as possible.
Darth Vader: Perhaps you are not pushing your men to the limit. The Emperor wants this station operational now.
Commander: With all due respect, he asks for the impossible. There is no way we can speed up the process.
Darth Vader: Then perhaps you can tell him that when he gets here.
All the others gasp. A Ratnician faints.
Commander: The Emperor's coming here?
Darth Vader: He is most displeased with your work ethic and is coming to oversee the operation.
Commander: We shall double our efforts.
Darth Vader: I hope so, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.
Vader leaves to await the Emperor. Meanwhile, on Tatooine, C-3PO and R2-D2, portrayed by Ratchet and Clank, move to Jabba's palace.
R2-D2: Beep. Boop. I cannot believe we are back here.
C-3PO: Yeah. Well, don't get too comfortable. Lando and Chewbacca never made it back from here. We must tread carefully. This Jabba the Hutt is supposed to be really dangerous.
R2-D2: Just what we need.
They approach the palace entrance.
R2-D2: Here we are.
C-3PO: Big door. I'd better knock.
R2-D2: Be my guest.
3PO knocks on the door.
C-3PO: Well, no one's home. Let's go.
A talking ball thing, voiced by Pinstripe Potoroo, pops out of the door like in the movie. Thanks to modern technology, everyone speaking Huttese is now translated so you can understand what they say.
Ball: Who is it?
C-3PO: Whoa.
Ball: Who are you with?
C-3PO: I'm with R2-D2.
R2-D2: Nice to meet you.
Ball: Back off!
R2-D2: I say!
Ball: And who are you?
C-3PO: C-3PO.
Ball: What do you want?
C-3PO: We are here to see Jabba the Hutt?
Ball: Here to see the master? That's rich. Ha ha ha!
The ball retreats back into the door.
C-3PO: Somehow, I get the feeling that we're not wanted here.
R2-D2: I suggest we wait.
C-3PO: No. We'd better go.
Just then, the door opens and R2 enters the palace with 3PO close behind.
C-3PO: R2! R2, wait! We shouldn't rush into this.
3PO sees a giant spider thing behind him.
C-3PO: AAH! Wait for me!
A few seconds later, R2 runs into a gamorrean guard, portrayed by SharpClaw.
R2-D2: Whoa! Hey, ugly.
Gamorrean guard: Watch what you say!
C-3PO: R2! Don't leave me like that!
The door closes behind them.
C-3PO: Oh, that's not good.
Voice: You!
Bib Fortuna, portrayed by Nitrous Oxide, approaches.
Bib Fortuna: What are you doing here?
R2-D2: We are here to present a message to Jabba the Hutt.
C-3PO: Yes.
R2-D2: And a gift.
C-3PO: Ye- Gift? What gift?
Bib Fortuna: Sorry. Jabba does not want to barter. Why don't you give me the message and be on your way.
R2-D2: It's not for you. It's for Jabba.
Bib Fortuna: Are you going to give me the message?
R2-D2: It's only for Jabba.
Bib Fortuna: Give me the message.
R2-D2: Only for Jabba.
C-3PO: Sorry. We are told to deliver the message to Jabba and Jabba only.
R2-D2: That's what I just said. Threeve times. Don't you listen?
C-3PO: Shut it!
R2-D2: You shut it!
C-3PO: You shut it!
Bib Fortuna: Enough! I'll take you to Jabba.
C-3PO: Well, that worked out nicely. At least we didn't get chopped up.
R2-D2: I'm sure that might be coming up next.
Next Time:
Chapter 2: Mysterious Visitor