Disclaimer: Not mine..But don't tell Spike that, he's sitting in the hot
tub drinking a smoothie.something tells me that he wouldn't be pleased to
find out that I have been lying to him..
A/N: This story is kind of a dark one..I was feeling a bit depressed and I came up with this. This is basically during the first episodes of season 7 when Spike is still in the basement. At this point Buffy doesn't know about the soul.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was tearing at him.
Making him sick with anguish and he couldn't do anything about it.
He reaches for the knife....its handle fits into his hand snugly.
Slowly...so slowly....he brings it to his chest.
The pain....if only the pain would go away....
A thin slice over where his heart once beat.
It isn't deep enough.
Never deep enough.
The blood seeps from the slice.
Red......Crimson......The darkest shade.....
This is what he is.......a monster......
Living for the blood.
Of animals...
Humans....
Not good....
William hurt the girl.....
So little blood left.....
He was weak.
Blood in his mouth....
A scared little girl....
Why?
Why her?
Why anyone?
William's a bad man....
*Can't be a human.....Can't be a vampire...*
He doesn't fit it.....
He never did....
Curly hair and glasses that covered his face....
Wasn't him....
Never fit in....
A new name...
A new face....
New friends....
Covering up who he is....
He is gray.....
Always gray.....
Her scared face.....
He hurt the girl...
Pain in an alley...
Bruises on his face...
Not good enough for the girl...
*Beneath me*
*Always beneath the girl*
*Always beneath Buffy*
A knife in the gut..
It burned..
It shredded.
Just a little harder.a little deeper.
Make the girl scream.
Make her cry..
Can't make her stay..
William hurt the girl..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy watched as Spike writhed and moaned in agony. Witnessing him suffer to words only he could hear. She knew that he was insane now. The wild look in his eyes were pretty self explanatory..and then the whole 'mumbling to himself' would be another side effect of it.
She grimaced at the cuts on his chest. The fresh blood slowly slid down his torso.
"Don't hurt the girl.never hurt the girl.." He whispered softly, his voice a husky rasp.
Buffy's first instinct was to move across the room and hold him..make his demons go away.
His head was in his hands. Fingers grasped his hair, as if he were going to pull it out root by root.
Buffy was frozen in place. Wanting to touch him..tell him that he was okay..she was here to save him. But she couldn't move from her spot. She was scared.
Spike looked up at her. His eyes frantically looked between Buffy and to the spot next to her. He never looked her in the eyes. He always looked down.
Unrecognizable words were mumbled through his lips.
"Buffy?" He finally whispered.
"I'm here.." Buffy slowly moved towards him.hoping that he'd let her get close.
He pushed himself all the way against the wall, almost climbing it in an effort to keep a distance between the two.
Buffy noticed his nervousness and stopped in her tracks.
"'S it really you?" His eyes looked so hopeful and so torn at the same time. It broke Buffy's heart.
"I'm me." She told him.
*Best to keep it simple* She thought to herself.
"No..it can't be..William hurt the girl...girl should stay away."
Buffy looked at the pain in his eyes..wanting him to stop hurting.
Finally their eyes locked and Spike calmed for a moment.
He cocked his head slightly to the left. Similar to what he used to do..before he left
Before he went insane.
When the moment became too much for him, Spike curled back up and put his head back into his hands.
She lost him again.
"Don't worry Spike. I'll be back. I'll save you." Buffy whispered to him.
She turned around and left.
She left him in the dark.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: If this doesn't sound like any of those episodes, I'm sorry. I just recently, like maybe a couple of months ago, got BtVS back after the WB took over UPN. Though I was lucky and that channel does show it now. Anyway, hoped you liked.
Be happy..Give Spike a hug.. Even if they are only 'mental hugs'
A/N: This story is kind of a dark one..I was feeling a bit depressed and I came up with this. This is basically during the first episodes of season 7 when Spike is still in the basement. At this point Buffy doesn't know about the soul.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was tearing at him.
Making him sick with anguish and he couldn't do anything about it.
He reaches for the knife....its handle fits into his hand snugly.
Slowly...so slowly....he brings it to his chest.
The pain....if only the pain would go away....
A thin slice over where his heart once beat.
It isn't deep enough.
Never deep enough.
The blood seeps from the slice.
Red......Crimson......The darkest shade.....
This is what he is.......a monster......
Living for the blood.
Of animals...
Humans....
Not good....
William hurt the girl.....
So little blood left.....
He was weak.
Blood in his mouth....
A scared little girl....
Why?
Why her?
Why anyone?
William's a bad man....
*Can't be a human.....Can't be a vampire...*
He doesn't fit it.....
He never did....
Curly hair and glasses that covered his face....
Wasn't him....
Never fit in....
A new name...
A new face....
New friends....
Covering up who he is....
He is gray.....
Always gray.....
Her scared face.....
He hurt the girl...
Pain in an alley...
Bruises on his face...
Not good enough for the girl...
*Beneath me*
*Always beneath the girl*
*Always beneath Buffy*
A knife in the gut..
It burned..
It shredded.
Just a little harder.a little deeper.
Make the girl scream.
Make her cry..
Can't make her stay..
William hurt the girl..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy watched as Spike writhed and moaned in agony. Witnessing him suffer to words only he could hear. She knew that he was insane now. The wild look in his eyes were pretty self explanatory..and then the whole 'mumbling to himself' would be another side effect of it.
She grimaced at the cuts on his chest. The fresh blood slowly slid down his torso.
"Don't hurt the girl.never hurt the girl.." He whispered softly, his voice a husky rasp.
Buffy's first instinct was to move across the room and hold him..make his demons go away.
His head was in his hands. Fingers grasped his hair, as if he were going to pull it out root by root.
Buffy was frozen in place. Wanting to touch him..tell him that he was okay..she was here to save him. But she couldn't move from her spot. She was scared.
Spike looked up at her. His eyes frantically looked between Buffy and to the spot next to her. He never looked her in the eyes. He always looked down.
Unrecognizable words were mumbled through his lips.
"Buffy?" He finally whispered.
"I'm here.." Buffy slowly moved towards him.hoping that he'd let her get close.
He pushed himself all the way against the wall, almost climbing it in an effort to keep a distance between the two.
Buffy noticed his nervousness and stopped in her tracks.
"'S it really you?" His eyes looked so hopeful and so torn at the same time. It broke Buffy's heart.
"I'm me." She told him.
*Best to keep it simple* She thought to herself.
"No..it can't be..William hurt the girl...girl should stay away."
Buffy looked at the pain in his eyes..wanting him to stop hurting.
Finally their eyes locked and Spike calmed for a moment.
He cocked his head slightly to the left. Similar to what he used to do..before he left
Before he went insane.
When the moment became too much for him, Spike curled back up and put his head back into his hands.
She lost him again.
"Don't worry Spike. I'll be back. I'll save you." Buffy whispered to him.
She turned around and left.
She left him in the dark.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: If this doesn't sound like any of those episodes, I'm sorry. I just recently, like maybe a couple of months ago, got BtVS back after the WB took over UPN. Though I was lucky and that channel does show it now. Anyway, hoped you liked.
Be happy..Give Spike a hug.. Even if they are only 'mental hugs'