A Family Guy Roasting on an Open Fire.
Ch1. Stewie on the Stage.
The Griffins are sitting watching TV.
"We now return to: To Catch a Predator: Christmas Edition" says the announcer.
(There is a rumbling in the chimney and soot falls down. Santa Claus pops out!)
"Dammit why can't people clean their chimneys?" grumbles Santa Claus, wiping off his red suit.
"Hello Mr. Kringle! Why don't you have a seat?" says Chris Hansen pleasantly.
"Peter, are you ready?!" Lois shouts loudly from upstairs.
"Oh crap, right Stewie's first elementary school Christmas play I totally forgot on what a big deal this is!" says Peter, getting up to go get ready.
"Sigh." And everybody forgot my play last week.
Flashback.
Meg begins narrating the play.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for Jerry who was suffering from random Vietnam flashbacks.'
Flashback ends.
Later in the car at the school.
"Peter I'm going to go get our seats for the play. You try to find a parking space." says Lois
"What's this play about?" Brian asks.
"It's called Santa's Cookie Problem." Lois reads from the pamphlet as they sit down in the auditorium.
The play begins as Peter stumbles across clumsily to sit down.
"What did I miss?" asks Peter.
"Nothing, you're right on time. Now shush." Replies Lois as it begins.
"Santa, you really need to watch you eat! All these sweets aren't good for you." Says one of the elves in concern.
"Ho ho ho ho ho it's no big deal! I feel healthy as a reindeer." the kid dressed as Santa laughs.
"I know but we worry about you." says the girl dressed as Mrs. Claus.
(Peter begins to nod off, sliding down in his seat as his eye begin to close.)
(Later Peter feels someone shaking him.)
"Peter, Peter wake up it's Stewie's part!" Lois whispers sharply, a little agitated that he fell asleep.
"Santa you've gotten worse." says the elf in a concerned voice, frowning.
"Yeah, I'm scared for you dear." Says Mrs. Claus in the hospital with Santa.
Meanwhile back stage.
"You sure you can do this?" asks Stewie's friend, looking worried.
"Don't worry man, I have a little trick." Replies Stewie with confidence, and walks out on stage looking at the clipboard.
"How is he doing doctor?" asks Mrs. Claus.
"Well the test results came back and it looks like he-he-he..." Stewie begins to stutter when he looks up.
"Oh no it looks like Stewie has stage fright again." Says Chis.
Stewie begin to say too himself, "Ok you can do this" (Takes a deep breath.) "Just picture everyone in the audience naked."
(Stewie looks at everyone from left to right and looks directly at Meg who gives him an encouraging smile.)
(Stewie opens his mouth like he's about too speak, but starts projectile vomiting everywhere which ends up hitting the girl playing Mrs. Claus.)
The girl begins to scream, "Ew, Ew, Ew, Ew, Ewww!"
Later after the play at the Griffin's home.
Peter and his family are eating dinner in awkward silence.
"That was quite an ordeal." says Lois, looking exhausted.
"So...much...vomit…" whimpers Peter, shaking.
"Sorry." says Stewie, still looking queasy.
"You're telling me, I had to get re-dressed. I was covered in the stuff!" Chimes in meg disgustedly.
"Urgh." says Stewie, "I think I just vomited in my mouth again."
"Awwe is my baby not feeling well again? I think I'm going to put you to bed." Lois coos in a soothing voice, picking up Stewie and walking through the living room and up the stairs, "Oh and don't forget to write out your Christmas lists. Oh and no I'm not getting anyone a Pony this year so stop asking."
"Awwww." Says Stewie sadly.