DISCLAIMER: All of the characters in this fic are not mine. They are the property of BIOWARE. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)

Author's Note: Warning! Though most of the story is not about them there will be hints/mentions of Female Shepard With Liara T'Soni ahead! If this offends you press the back button now!

I've been working on this fic since an anon at the kink meme prompted this almost three years ago. I was only able to complete this recently because I had horrible Writer's Block that entire time. I'm still not completely satisfied with it but it's… passable. The prompt said this:

So Shepard made it to the bar before a non-romanced Garrus by quite a few decades. I'd like to see Shepard collecting on the drink she/he is owed and getting filled in on the things going on (Destroy/Refuse only kthanxbai)

Bonus points for a Femshep who romanced Liara or Traynor but to be honest I'm not picky about something else if it strikes anon's fancy.

masseffectkink. livejournal 6066. html ? thread=26594994 # t26594994 (Don't forget to remove spaces.)

Meet Me at the Bar

The endless daylight found a lazy Shepard lounging on one of the larger tree branches in the middle of the Presidium garden next to the Meridian Place Market; eyes half-leaded, head pillowed on the crook of one of her elbows, and one hand dangling off the branch. Had she been a dog, her tail would've waved happily and contently as she enjoyed the uninterrupted warmth of the faux sunshine with no C-Sec officer in sight… Until a flanging voice cuts through her down time, calling her name.

"Thought you might be up here. Figures I'd have to end up back here of all places in order to get in a friendly chat."

Shepard groaned but the rest of her body does not to move. Instead she muttered grumpily, "Any reason this can't wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some research right now."

"Hmmm... I suppose I can see why this place deserves some in-depth research. That kind of research gets old after a while though. You need something to really spice things up."

"Ya don't say." Shepard drawled in response, not bothering to disguise her sarcasm. "And what would you do to 'spice things up'?"

"Move the Normandy's main gun in here, of course. Calibrating that gun is much more interesting then researching sunlight." Whatever hold the foggy haze of lethargy had on the human vanished and Shepard jerked upwards, nearly falling off the tree in surprise.

"Garras?!" A disbelieving Shepard stared down with a happy grin at her friend. Garrus returned her grin by flaring his mandibles in what passes for a smug turian smirk. "GARRUS! What are you doing here?!"

"Oh~, just… killing time. It's been too quiet. Not enough bad guys around to kill."

Shepard huffed in a mock-offended manner. "Oh so you got bored and tried to find me. Yesh. Thanks, glad I'm what? Number 100 on the list of things to do as soon as you get here."

Garrus pretended to think. "Number 101 actually."

Shepard laughed as she hopped off the tree, almost 'floating' as she bypassed the railings to landed back on the platform. She took a few steps to get closer to her friend for a quick hug then clapped him on the back. "Come on Archangel, we're heading to Apollo's. You owe me a beer. You did say you were buying."

Garrus let out a huff as the two of them started on the path to the Cafe that Liara's father once worked at. "I also told you to meet me at the bar. Instead, I had to find your lazy ass up a tree. What are you a dog?"

Shepard exaggerated her eye roll knowing that her best friend knew the correct phrase and was trying to trap her in the answer. "Gimme a break, Garrus. It's been years! I thought it would be a few more decades before you got here!"

"Uh-huh."

"Don't 'Uh-huh' me, Garrus. That's my line."

"Uh-huh."

Shepard stuck her tongue out at him childishly and Garrus snapped his mandibles back at her in playful retort, causing them both to laugh. "So? How long you plan on sticking around?"

"Probably just until Tali gets here. After that, it's wherever she decides to go."

"Ah."

"Still can't believe I got here before Wrex, the stubborn old bastard."

"Bakura probably had a hand in that. And I think that's a good thing. The krogans still need him. If I had it my way, he'll live for another thousand years and would still able to kick ass."

"You sure 'bout that? Live too long and you just can't see this anymore." Garrus gestured all around him with a sweep of his arm.

Shepard looked over at him questioningly. "You can't see the Citadel?"

Garrus shook his head. "No this - the universe. It's the difference between the new rookie and me who'd been in C-Sec for too long. The rookie looks around and thinks 'with this arrest I'm making a difference'. But me… Experience has shown me that because of political ties or lots of money, the judge is just going to let him go free and arresting him made no difference at all. And Wrex, he's given up on his race before, what's to say he wouldn't do it again?"

Shepard shrugged. "You can't predict how people will act, Garrus. So, just give them a chance. The krogans have more than earned it even if they do have some stupid idiots that want to go back to the old days and do nothing but fight everyone."

Garrus snorted. "You're right about that. We had to help him put down a few of those stupid upstarts. And your faith in Wrex has paid off so far. Sure don't know what he'd do without me backing him up now."

"He'll do fine. Just not as stylishly, of course."

Garrus smirked as he mimicked a move Shepard had done several times before - pretending to preen as he rubbed his talons against his chestplate then flick off an invisible lint. "Hmm, there was never a doubt about that."

"Careful, Vakarian. Someone might take that as a challenge to shoot down that big ego of yours."

"If that's an invitation for a rematch, I'm okay with that."

Shepard shook her head, amused. "No, it wasn't - "

"Is 'The Shepard' afraid to get her ass kicked?"

"The - Oh, hell no. It's on, Vakaraian! It's on like Donkey Kong's schlong."

Garrus looked confused. "What?"

Shepard laughed as they came up to the bar. "Don't worry about it. Just get ready to lose after this. You owe me a drink and I'm not budging until I get at least one."

Garrus hmm'd. "Well, I guess I can't argue with that. How does buying alcohol here work anyway when there's no one here?"

Shepard shrugged. "Sometimes there is especially when I'm with someone else. But in my own little space where you found me? I usually just search out for what I want, take it, and drink when I'm in the mood. Half the time that doesn't work. But when it does, it never seems to make a dent in the supplies. For all I know I could just be drinking an imaginary beer that somehow tastes like Ryncol but without the drunkness or morning hangover that follows."

Garrus's mandible twitched in an exaggerated show of disgust. "You're still drinking that crap?"

"What?! It's not crap, it's good!"

"A Canadian Lager is much better then a Ryncol any day."

"Hey! Don't compare Ryncol to that crap! And how would you know anyways?! You can't drink levo stuff!"

"Doesn't matter, krogans can't make a better beer then a turian."

Shepard turned to lean against the bar sideways so she could eye her friend with a playful smirk. "Ooooh, I get it. You're just being a sore loser because Tali likes Wrex's version of dextro-beer better then yours."

Garrus turned his head away from her in what Shepard had learned was her friend's way of pouting - not that he'd admit that he was. "You want that beer or not? I can always walk away - "

Shepard quickly reached out and grabbed her friend's armor, forcing him to look back at her. "Kidding! Kidding! O'Lordship Garrus Vakarian makes the best dextro-beer on the Normandy. I am not worthy. Not at all."

His mandibles twitched in his struggle to suppress his mirth. He failed and he shook his head as he laughed before he clapped her on the back. "Liar."

Shepard grinned as she turned back to the bar. "Now let's see if I can get this right." She leaned over the counter and called out, "Hiero!"

A twirly orange and round hologram that looks a lot like a modified version of Shepard's combat drone floated upwards towards them and responded with a voice that sounded like a certain Shadow Broker's own drone. "Greetings, Commander."

"Hey, Hiero. One bottle of Ryncol for me, and - "

Garrus interrupted her with, "One bottle of Iron Moon - and just in case it does matter - Dextro."

Hiero bobbled up and down in acknowledgement. "Certainly."

As the hologram floated off to retrieve their drinks Garrus turned to her with a look that seemed to be a cross between amusement and confusion. "High - row?"

Shepard shrugged. "I was never any good with names."

Her friend snorted. "Like Boo for a hamster?"

Shepard shrugged again. "It was either that or 'Meep'."

Garrus twitched and tilted his head at her in the manner equivalent to a human raising their eyebrow skeptically as he said in an deadpan tone, "Meep."

Shepard bursted out a good long laugh. Her friend rolled his eyes then patiently tapped the talon of one limb against the table as he turned his focus to drinking the beer. Midway through his second sip he pulled the bottle away from him to give it and Shepard's bottle a startled and confused look before giving a brief glance around. He didn't really have a chance to do much more as his focus is distracted when the human's fit of laugher finally died down.

"Sorry, Garrus but seeing you say that is the funniest shit I've ever seen."

"Your sense of humor still needs work."

Shepard's happily grinning visage faltered - slipping into a wistful smile. "Yeah…"

Garrus raised his bottle towards her. "A toast?"

The human nodded once and clinked her own bottle against it. "To you - "

"No, Shepard. To us."

Shepard chuckled. "To us then, as there's no Shepard without Vakarian."

"Damn right."

The two of them silently nursed their drink, both lost in their own thoughts until Shepard cleared her throat. "So…"

She trailed off slightly and one of her hands twisted the bottle around in an attempt to hide her nervousness. "How is everyone, Garrus?"

"What? You mean you weren't watching over us - spying on every naughty deed?"

"No."

"Sooo disappointing."

Shepard had the look of sorrow on her face as she apologized, "I'm sorry."

Garrus craned his head for a few seconds as he said, "You realize I probably got head-butted by same handbook you did when I got here."

"Yeah, but I told you that I'd have your back."

"I remember. But I also remembered thinking that there's no way you'd be able to. Especially considering you probably used up a lot of your karma so that you'd be able to be help us with the Reapers."

For another moment there was silence aside from the sounds caused by Shepard worrying the bottle in between taking a swing from it.

"As far as I know: everyone's still alive, Shepard. Aside from the two of us of course. Thing is, after the war, it was almost like the first time you well… "

Garrus shook his head as he placed his drink on the counter. "The only difference between them is that the reason we all split without keeping much in contact is because the entire universe started looking to us for some sort of guidance - to take up important roles and all that crap; and that took up a lot of our time since the War left massive devastation that took a long while to clean up.

"It's still a mess when I left but it isn't as bad as before, though that's not saying much. The crater that took the place of my hometown is still filled with lava. Solana decided to stick around and help with the rebuilding of Palaven. She got married to Victus' youngest son Ramlin.

"Jack's still the favored teacher at Grissom Academy - rivaled only by Kaidan when he has time to show up in between his SPECTRE posturing for the Council. Jack, Tali, and I had a few minutes together along with the Donnellys for a quick beer several years before I ended up here. Jack didn't even look like she's aged any - good thing too. Don't tell her since I like to keep my head in tact but I've seen how some of you humans look when you get old. I pictured her tattoos on them once and I had to hold myself back from throwing up the meal I'd spent quite a bit of credits on."

Shepard snorted. "Jack's biotics'll probably have her aging like an asari."

Garrus's mandibles flared in such a way to express his doubtfulness. "If you say so."

He picked up his drink and took a swig before setting it back down once more as he sighed with satisfaction. "The Donnellys were there for their one week Guest Speaker stint to teach the kids about engines. They seemed to be happy continuing their engineering work. Found out from them that Dr. Chakwas and Adams both retired. They occasionally have tea with Dr. Michel. Miranda apparently shows up to those as well... when she's not driving Oriana up the wall. Though as odd as it sounds, Miranda does make a surprisingly good babysitter. Their kids love her."

Garrus paused thoughtfully for a bit. "Hmm who else?"

"Grunt has matured well - still prone to juvenile things that Bailey and I still have to bail him out of - but damn… that nut joined C-SEC."

Shepard choked on her drink and started coughing. She was barely coordinated enough to set the bottle down without spilling its remaining contents and took a few minutes to recover. "He - wait - what…?"

Garrus grinned. "That was probably everyone's reaction when they heard. Bailey has good things to say about him though. He's apparently been a good role model - when he's in uniform anyways."

Shepard grinned back proudly and just as widely. "Well, how about that. Good job, Grunt."

"Bailey, himself, is retired and shares living spaces with his family and Kolyat back on Earth. Says Kolyat became a priest a while back. He now splits his time between the monastery he opened on Earth and helping with the Kepral's Syndrome research.

"Hackett was doing very well for himself and for the galaxy - huh, I just realized that old war horse outlived me too. He ended up becoming the head of everything for quite some time but as soon as everything looked like they could stand on their own, he stepped down and went back to being full time Alliance. I think he finally retired about… 20 years ago? Something like that. Don't know what happened to him after that. Your new ruling government that followed are Prime Minister Sarah Williams-Bolas and her husband Thomas Williams-Bolas. They seem to be doing well despite getting hammered by the usual politics. And no, not the Williams name thing with Shanxi - "

Shepard rolled her eyes and muttered, "'Bout time."

"- just the usual politician 'my gang is better than yours'."

Shepard furrowed her eyebrows. "Gang?"

"It was really bad following the war, Shepard. Street gangs rose up and took power throughout the systems filling the void during the period where there were so many people angry at their respective governments for hiding, sliding, and overall general not doing enough. There were assassination attempts on all of them - including those on the Citadel Council - successful assassinations attempts. The only one that survived is Quentius, surprisingly."

"… Who?"

"Nevermind, you wouldn't know him. That eventually got quashed and dealt with so we have a new Council. Made up by a representative of all the races… except for the Drell who have willingly deferred all power to the Hanar. Still ended up saving a spot for them in case they change their minds.

"Tali of course is alive and well. The two of us did the whole couples thing; Got married, did some artificial insemination and got two of our own, and adopted a bunch of kids. Can you imagine a house of six kids of varying ages?"

Shepard raised both eyebrows up in surprise then lowered them as she laughed fondly. "That must've fun."

Garrus chuckled. "And loud, just the way Tali likes it."

Shepard raised an eyebrow for a second but chose to answer his innuendo with a light backhanded fist to his chest and a laugh.

"Honestly, it wasn't easy with so many short people to trip over but we managed. They're good kids.

"And then there's Omega Stripper James Vegas." Shepard snickered at the title. "He's definitely taken after you: N7, impossible missions, SPECTRE, testing that flexibility and reach with an asari scientist. Never met her but I suppose she can't be all that bad if she can put up with him."

Garrus went completely silent after that and Shepard fought down her conflicting feeling of relief and disappointment.

"Wow, Garrus. That sounds -"

"Why are you here, Shepard?"

"I don't - " Garrus's face contorted to give her the "Don't Bullshit Me" look. Shepard sighed, her lips twisting into a frown as she looked away from her friend. "You wouldn't understand."

The turian grabbed her arm and pulled her around - forcing her to face him and his anguish. "Then help me. Tell me why. Help me understand why you left us. Again! Anderson survived it, why didn't you?!"

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him and jerked away as she snapped, "Aside from the fact that I took Harbinger's laser to the face and Anderson didn't?"

She immediately face palmed. "Sorry, you didn't deserve that." Using her thumb and ring finger she kneaded either side of her forehead for a few seconds then dropped her hand back on the table with a loud sigh.

"Part of it was because I calculated that my death would cause less complications in the long run but most of it is because I'm selfish. The aftermath of a war is always the worst part of war itself. As long as I draw breath as Commander Shepard, none of us would be left alone much less retire peaceably. Hell, you've lived it and even said it yourself: When the War ended, the galaxy started looking to the Normandy crew for guidance because despite the survival of the known universe, conflict still rages with selfish basterds looking to profit in some manner - mostly politically. The easiest way to do that would be through the most notable figurehead: me. And if we would have any chance of peace, I'd have to publicly pretend nice with those basterds just like I did after the first time the Citadel was attacked."

Garrus shook his head as Shepard took a pull from her drink. "You're right, I still don't understand."

Shepard shrugged. "Just put it down as me hanging up on the Council for once and telling them to deal with their own bullshit."

Garrus hummed noncommittally. The silence between them stretched for several minutes before the turian broke it. "Aethyta's doing fine. Funny enough, she's now the only Matriarch from the old guard left alive and Hackett somehow managed to talk her into leading teams made up of the brightest minds they can find studying the Mass Relays and the Citadel - which is still out of commission and stuck on Earth.

"As for Liara, she's still burying herself in the information business and hasn't been actively pursuing anyone beyond the unsuccessful blind dates Aethyta blackmailed us all into setting Liara up on because 'The kid needs to stop being a prude and go get laid already' - her words not mine.

Shepard stared at him as several conflicting emotions crossed her face. "Oh. I… I thought she would've found someone else by now."

"Would it have made you feel better if I'd said she's shacking up with a hot piece of Turian ass?"

Pain briefly flickered through Shepard's face. "At least I would know."

Garrus looked taken aback in the silence that followed.

Shepard finally whispered, "I love her, Garrus. I love her so much that it hurts. And I know - I know - I should give her up and I'm trying but I keep thinking… I keep thinking that I want to be the one… the only one she desires. It's selfish and I know it's selfish especially since she's asari and I -" Shepard cut herself off, going completely silent as her entire body tensed up. The action caused her to look smaller than the time in the height of the War when the two of them had the discussion on Ruthless Calculus.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Well, during one of my lucid moments, I asked Liara if she had any messages she wanted me to pass on to you. She didn't. To quote Tali, 'that's Liara speak for she's waiting for you, bosh'tet.' " Garrus punctuated his pilfering of his quarian mate's words with a not too gentle jab to Shepard's shoulder that sent her flailing a bit.

The tenseness vanished as Shepard gave him the turian equivalent of the human's middle finger gesture that caused him to smirk. "I bare my vulnerability to you and this is what I get?"

Her friend only chuckled.

Shepard grumbled with no real ire, "Ass."

"Seriously, Shepard. Tali's right." Garrus inclined his head in the direction of the doorway that separated the stores and the apartments. "Isn't it about time you left?"

Shepard snorted. "It doesn't work that way, Garrus. All going back will do is screw shit up and I become the next Thomas P. Johnson - a workaholic who realizes in the end that he should never have tried to find his family. To that lesson I say, no fucking thanks."

In response, Garrus reached out and swiped her drink from her, causing her to yelp out a startled "Hey!"

"Oh no. You're not getting this back. Instead, you're gonna go out there and get back to your girl. You'll find out Liara hasn't found another; you'll have the grand old ceremony tying the two of you together leading to cavity inducing boring and happy lives; and you'll return owing me a drink and a silencer scope of my choice. Actually, I'd rather just collect them both now."

Shepard shot him an incredulous look. "What?! No! You can't make a one sided choice like that! What if I found out she has?!"

"IF she's found another - which, again, no she hasn't - the two of us can run away and become 'big gorram heroes' in the Andromeda galaxy. And yes, I'm willing to risk Tali's wrath for us adventuring without her again."

Shepard made a half-hearted lunge for the bottle but her friend easily hopped out of the way. With a sigh and a slight slouch she grumbled, "Fine."

A/N: This was originally supposed to be a one-shot side story of another story I've been kicking around ideas for. However, Writer's Block has strangled those ideas and the newest Kink Meme Fill-A-Thon has started. Since the other story will not get off the "ideas" page in the next several years (if at all) I figure I'd just post this and deal with the other story (much) later. For now, the Epilogue chapter that follows this will just be one of the ideas I had, though there's no guarantee that the scene will even make it in that story at all. I hope it would but well, some scenes can just take on a life of their own.

A/N2:Answers To Questions You Didn't Even Know You Wanted To Ask:

1. "And if we would have any chance of peace, I'd have to pretend nice with those basterds just like I did after the first time the Citadel was attacked."

Let's just say the 'Screw the Council' option was so very tempting during Paragon playthroughs.

2. "The next Thomas P. Johnson"

From the movie "Fluke" where a guy dies in a car accident and is reincarnated as a dog. Google "Fluke movie wiki" and you'll find a summary.

3. Shepard's combat drone is named Hiero.

Liara's VI assistant is named Glyph.

Hiero-Glyph. Hieroglyph. Are you groaning yet?