Holly sat and stared at the box clenched in her shaking hands. She didn't know about the warn object, the blonde had never said anything and somehow Holly had missed it during every move. It's not like it was really hidden, Hale stumbled upon it when taking out photo albums for them to look at.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she knew who it belonged to without needing to look but she looked anyway. Holly was met with the exact shade if blue she fell in love with all those years ago. The blue eyes made her stomach wrench in both love and pain.

Knowing this Hale held her gaze for a minute before resting into the back of the couch, taking the blue with him.

Neither spoke, they didn't need to, they'd been doing this for two weeks now and the boy knew when to talk and when to let her sit in silence. He also knew when she was thinking too much and how to calm her, he knew when to push food or any other necessities and he knew how to comfort.

It took Holly twenty minutes to take the lid off of the box. Which honestly surprised Hale, he thought it'd take a few days.

He couldn't quite see inside but the few things he did confused him. Especially when his mother burst into tears, a smile spread across her lips as she whispered Gail's name. Hale didn't want to break this moment, didn't want to ruin the first smile from her he'd seen in almost three weeks, but curiosity took over.

"What is this mom?"

Turning to her son she smiled, those icy blues suddenly didn't hurt as much -not in this moment at least- "get Lux."

Without a word Hale stood, squeezed Holly's shoulder and walked down the hall to his sisters room. He tried knocking but she didn't answer so he opened it with causation, -the girl had been violently angry and the only one she hadn't lashed out at was Holly.

He found the blonde on the floor, death grip on her shins and resting her chin on her knees, headphones turned up so loud he could hear from the doorway, and staring into nothing. Hale waited for her to look at him before he dared to enter.

Lux pulled out the earbuds and met his eyes with her own. "What."

"Mom wants to see you." He explained. At the second 'mom' left his lips the girl was standing, by the time he finished she was already out the door.

Hale waited a moment, not sure if Holly wanted both of them or just the nine year old but he didn't have to wait long before his name was called.

Holly waited until they were all settled. Lux sat in her brothers lap on one side of the sofa, bodies fully facing her as she sat cross legged toward them, Gail's box in the space between them. Holly picked up the first thing she had noticed when opening the box and cleared her throat.

"This is the ring box I used to propose mom." She smiled weakly and put it on the couch. "These are the hospital bracelets from when you guys were born," Holly turned over the one to show them the colourful scribbles. "Hale got creative... This is a piece of wrapping paper from our first Christmas. Mom insisted we only get wrapping paper with superheroes on it. That's, that's when the wrapping paper themes started... This is from what is technically our first date. We were only friends but I got her to the batting cages." The group laughed in unison.

Holly continued, piece by piece she emptied the box explaining what she could as some of the items were too random for her to figure out.

By the end the three of them were full blown smiling, real smiles, not the fake ones they'd plastered on over the past few weeks. Smiles that only Gail could give them. It was almost two in the morning, no one knew where the time had gone but all were thankful for it. So Holly shooed them off to bed with hugs, kisses and her love.

As she was placing the contents of the box back she noticed one last piece of paper, an envelope actually. Opening it Holly found four carefully folded pieces of paper. Each had their purposes written out in Gail's scratchy handwriting. First was for the Division, second was for Hale, then Lux and lastly Lunchbox.

Holly stared at it, traced each letter and placed it on the coffee table.

She left it for a few minutes to prepare. Which meant a double of the almost empty scotch, checking on the kids, box of tissues, blanket over her shoulders and pillow clutched tightly in her arms. Holly settled into the office/library and opened it.

Before I start I just want to say sorry. I broke all of my promises and I'm sorry, I truly didn't mean to.

Dear Holly, Lunchbox, my Nerd.

If you are reading this it means you've found my box of sappy things, which means I didn't stop you before you got to the bottom and read this letter. This is the fourth time I've written this letter, all of which you can find on a super secret email account (hotmail cuz you're hot) formynerd . I'm not sure this will be long or help you at all but this is something I think you should have. It helped a lot when Jerry died so... yeah.

Right now you and the kids are all cuddled up on the floor, theres no electricity and it's freezing so we're doggie piled in front of the fire place. I was awoken by cold toes and snoring, so I can't get back to sleep. I've chosen this moment to write this again because I can't think of a better time. I couldn't be happier right now and it's because of you, Holly. You and the kids. It's my favourite sight, to see you three together. It relaxes me, it fills me, it scares me, it warms me, it reminds me of who I am and who I want to be. You three put a smile on my face every second of everyday and I couldn't be happier about looking like a sappy idiot.

I could never fully explain how happy you make me, how much you've changed me and bettered me, how much I appreciate you. I love you, with all of my being. I planned on showing you everyday, forever, but I'll have to settle for the last beat of my heart. I hope you felt at least a fraction of this when I tried to show you, when I tried to explain or express it.

There's just one last thing that I need you to know. I am sorry Hols.

I'm sorry I couldn't show you everyday. I'm sorry for breaking my promises. I'm sorry for making you hurt. I'm sorry for making you watch the sadness I've brought to our children. I'm sorry for all of the time I wasted being stupid. I am sorry for not growing old with you, my love. And I wish (I hope) you find someone else to bless with your love and grow your beautiful brown into grey.

-Your Gail

(P.S. I love you. Please, please don't wallow too long and I hope one day you can forgive me.)