The Moment I Knew
There was loud music pumping through the walls,
The large room was filled with punch, lined gifts, and the crowd.
Everyone was dancing,
Everyone was singing,
Everyone was enjoying.
And it was all dedicated to the young Haruno Sakura.
You should've been there,
Should've burst through the door,
With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,
And it would've felt like,
A million little shining stars had just aligned,
And I would've been so happy.
Behind the people, in the back of the room,
She sat alone on the lone, hard chair,
Glass in hand.
Christmas lights glisten,
I've got my eye on the door,
Just waiting for you to walk in,
But the time is ticking,
People ask me how I've been
As I comb back through my memory,
How you said you'd be here,
You said you'd be here.
She ran a cold hand through her soft primrose locks
How long was he going to take?
How long was she going to wait?
And it was like slow motion,
Standing there in my party dress,
In red lipstick,
With no one to impress,
And they're all laughing,
As I'm looking around the room,
But there's one thing missing,
And that was the moment I knew.
She knew, she knew.
He was with Ino again, wasn't he?
As soon as that crossed her thoughts,
The sinking feeling deepened,
Like an rusty anchor weighing down her heart.
Why?
And the hours pass by,
Now I just wanna be alone,
But your close friends always seem to know
When there's something really wrong,
So they follow me down the hall,
And there in the bathroom,
I try not to fall apart,
And the sinking feeling starts,
As I say hopelessly,
"He said he'd be here."
Damn it! She was breaking down!
This was pitiful! It's her day,
The day she thought she'd share the happiness with him.
Was she not good enough?
Not satisfying?
Not ...
What he wanted?
And it was like slow motion,
Standing there in my party dress,
In red lipstick,
With no one to impress,
And they're all laughing,
And asking me about you,
But there's one thing missing,
And that was the moment I knew.
They were asking.
"Where's Sasuke?"
She just gave a seemingly aloof shrug,
"I don't know"
What was she supposed to say?
He's out with my best friend?
He's been with her for weeks?
He lied to me about the underwear under our couch?
He lied to me about the perfume and the marks?
What do you say
When tears are streaming down your face
In front of everyone you know?
And what do you do when the one
Who means the most to you
Is the one who didn't show?
Now they're singing,
They're celebrating.
Scanning the crowd,
Occasionally desperately glancing at the door.
She felt hopeless.
You should've been here.
And I would've been so happy.
The flowy dress she chose specifically for this day swayed softly to the song.
And it was like slow motion,
Standing there in my party dress,
In red lipstick,
With no one to impress,
And they're all standing around me singing
"Happy birthday to you",
But there's one thing missing,
And that was the moment I knew
"Happy birthday, Sak!"
"Turning 18, eh?"
She felt bad for the people who genuinely wished, smiled at her.
When she didn't take them to heart,
She didn't return the happiness.
She was afraid they could tell.
I knew.
The gifts were being carried back home.
She hoped her friends didn't realise,
Didn't see through her lie.
She settled on the wooden bench,
Hands in pockets, warming them slightly.
It was silent, serene,
As she stared up at the moon.
The stars had decided to show themselves,
Giving her the last and best gift for the day.
She had hoped the best gift would be from him.
She always thought that the mesmering locket she had found in his cabinet would be for her.
She thought he had kept it for his girlfriend of three years,
For her fucking birthday.
She never expected Ino to have the very same locket adorning her neck the next day.
She never believed,
She refused to believe.
She did NOT want to cry.
The complinent she had given Ino was not the only one,
But the empty one.
She had cried herself to sleep the whole night that day.
You call me later,
And say, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it,"
And I say, "I'm sorry too,"
She knew, she knew.
She had to do this,
For her.
For her happiness,
For her closure.
For her damn self.
To erase the sorry,
The self-pity,
The gloom.
She took a deep, shaky breath.
And that was the moment I knew.