"...there are two sides of people. Strangely, the people closest... don't see that person's second side."
Suddenly that person's words resounded back inside his head. Hyeon bit his lips.
He thought about his late father. To Lee Junyeong, who only see the bad sides of people; perhaps viewed his father as being abusive to him. For thinking that he was a monster and reacted by locking him up in the secret basement. By thinking like that and assuming that he was 'saving' him, Lee Junyeong killed his father. But that was wrong. What Lee Junyeong thought was wrong.
True, his father was defeated by his fear. But he knew that at heart, his father loved him so much. And his father was really desperate to protect him. Like any normal parent that loved their child would. Because what parent would want their children to turn into a psychopathic killer like Lee Junyeong?
So even if what his father did hurt him, all of the misunderstandings; he really loved his father. Thus, he could not forgive that man... for killing his father. No matter what the reasoning. Because at the root of it, Lee Junyeong was still at fault. Lee Junyeong was still the one... that planted the seed of fear in his father, who cared too much about him and was paralysed with fear at the thought that he might turn bad.
Similarly, Jian's father... even if he never knew him; his circumstances... must be similar. After all, as his father said it... Lee Junyeong was someone with an angelic face yet hiding a malicious personality underneath. He wasn't able to understand it that well back then, but for someone who could commit mass murders without having any remorse; that person would have been feared by others. Naturally.
And since Jian's father was one of the guards assigned to Lee Junyeong, the pressure would have been high... since they would be the ones to personally handle Lee Junyeong. Of all people, they would be the most wary of showing any kinds of weakness to Lee Junyeong. Because they don't even know how he usually made his kill, other than the fact that all of his victims were never found alive ever since.
The guards might had tried to project a false impression on him in order to hide their own fear of him. The guard might have treated him harshly to cover for the fact that they feared him. Or that they might be powerless against him. It won't be surprising if that was what truly happened. Throughout his time as a criminal profiler he's met a lot of police officers as well as prison officers who had to deal with many types of criminals every day. He knew that any signs that would reveal the weaknesses of those officers to said criminals could be very dangerous. Since it could be used by the criminals against them and cost them their lives. So sometimes, one needs to create a false image in order to assert some form of authority.
That false image, might just be the only thing that Lee Junyeong knew about the guards that kept him under locks and keys. The false image of a cruel oppressor, that might have deserved to be killed by him.
Perhaps that was why he felt enraged. Not only because that man tried to imply to them that killing Jian's father was justified, but also to justify killing his father. As an act ofkindness. Just because of a moment of their fathers' misdeeds, Lee Junyeong thought that he had the right to kill them.
Just because Lee Junyeong couldn't see the good sides of people, doesn't give him the rights to punish those people due to their bad sides. Because of that, he couldn't ever forgive him.
xxx
Jian held his hands gently.
"Would you be all right?"
Hyeon just sighed, he couldn't really explain to her how he felt right now. Because Hyeon Jisu wasn't just someone who was close to his late father. She was the one who had raisedhim, despite their complicated relationship. But now she's dead. After he told her to do something right, to rectify her mistakes.
He felt a tug on his arm as Jian urged him to get up. Hyeon silently did as she instructed. Like that, Jian led him outside towards the car as she told him to get in. As she took the driver's seat and started the car. She strapped the seatbelt on her before making sure that Hyeon also put his on properly.
Hyeon turned to look at her as she drove the car out.
Suddenly he felt grateful to have Jian by his side. Yet he found it ironic that not a few days ago that their roles were complete opposite as to what happened currently. Earlier it was him, taking Jian home after finding the remains of her father. But now it was Jian returning the favour to him, taking him home after finding out that his foster mother have been murdered.
What an unexpected turnabout.
xxx
"Stay at home for now, at least for a few days," said Jian suddenly. "We weren't taking any other new cases as well... so there wasn't a need to have you at the station always. So you could take a break for now."
Jian glanced at him worriedly through the rear-view mirror.
"The funeral..." she said gently. "...you don't have to worry about it. Leave it to us. Since we're talking about the Director General right now, there should be some other procedure that have to done regarding her funeral. "
Hyeon nodded listlessly. Jian glanced at him again as they stopped at the street lights.
"What's wrong?" she asked, before driving again as the lights changed signal. He shrugged.
"I feel terrible. If I knew that it could turn out like this, I should have answered her call."
He should. He shouldn't have been acting like a disagreeable brat to her. He shouldn't have ignored her call! Because despite the things she have done, despite her mistakes. Because despite everything, she was the one who...
"Director Hyeon called you earlier?" Jian asked again, snapping him out of his reverie. Hyeon nodded.
"I should have answered that call. If I did, perhaps she wouldn't have gone out alone by herself. If I knew..."
Jian stopped the car on a roadside before turning towards him.
"Don't blame yourself, you can't possibly have expected this to happen. We didn't expect that there would be someone inside the police force that could be Lee Junyeong's accomplice. So you shouldn't blame yourself for her death." She looked at him sternly.
"Hyeon. You can't let yourself be weak now. I'm not sure what happened between you and Director Hyeon before, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to break apart now. We can't lose ourselves to that person now!"
Hyeon stared back towards her, quiet. He wished he could tell her the real reason he felt so guilty about Hyeon Jisu's death. Not just because she had been the one who have raised him until now, but because of the things she have done. That he had been so disappointed at his foster mother's past actions, that he refused to even allow her to try make it up to him.
He remembered the many times his foster mother tried to get him to stay and talk to him. He remembered how many times Hyeon Jisu wanted to patch things up with him. To explain herself. But because of his own refusal to even want to give her a second chance, he let his foster mother die.
To only be able to hear the things his foster mother wanted to tell him... after her death, it weighed on him so heavily. Hyeon Jisu really wanted to rectify the mistakes she did. She wanted to do it for him. But because of that...
Hyeon bit his lips before nodding slowly. "Yeah," he said.
xxx
"Doesn't she deserved to die anyway?"
Hyeon tried to contain his own emotions as to not burst out in anger towards Min. Because he also felt guilty about not treating his foster mother well these recent days. Her death made his heart heavy with sadness, but to hear Min say that she deserved to be killed... it hurt him.
But he really couldn't believe it. How easy for Min to say that Hyeon Jisu deserved to die. Or how Min wouldn't have let her die so peacefully; to wish a violent death to her. To say something like that, to the person who was like a second mother to him...
"Don't you think we looked like mother and son?"
"I did not raise you only out of guilt. For me... you were my son, Hyeon."
"You are my son!"
He remembered the last few words he said to his foster mother in anger, and it hurt him even more. As if those words have cursed her to receive that kind of end.
He wanted to tell Min that despite everything wrong that Hyeon Jisu did, she did raised him well. Enough that he could tell the difference of what should be right and wrong. She have raised him to become a good person. She have raised him out of love, despite the imperfect circumstances. He wanted to tell him how wrong Lee Junyeong was. That even if that person thinks that killing bad people was a right thing, murder was still wrong.
But a part of him was afraid that he might push Min away from him. Because, if he said something now... he might not be able to mask his own feelings.
Because no matter what mistake that Hyeon Jisu have done; no, she didn't deserve to be killed!
"Did I say something wrong?"
Hyeon's heart felt heavy as he placed a hand on Min's shoulder. "No, it's okay..." he said, forcing a smile.
He'll change Min for the better. He have to. He have to show Min that even if someone had a bad side in themselves, it doesn't mean they cannot become good. He'll have to make Min understand the difference between right and wrong.
Just because someone had two sides in themselves, it doesn't mean it was bad.
Finally finished this draft inspired by something I read earlier. Since I felt the need to defend Lee Jungmin and perhaps Hyeon Jisu as well, regardless whatever mistakes they did before. Cos yeah, they do mistakes... but it doesn't make them bad parents. They did shaped Hyeon to being who he was as an adult.
Also, I used the term used in KBS World translation for Hyeon Jisu's rank. Well, I think I remembered it correctly.