Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin- not mine. Original idea- not mine. I just borrowed it from dementedchris, Talaco, and other people, and warped it in my own bizarre manner.
He came into our lives, and we were changed forever, and not necessarily for the better. We slaved for hours writing him and his friends into the weirdest scenarios- traveling time, traveling to other universes, crossing them over with other anime. We laughed at his "oro", giggled as he did laundry, which we gave him plenty of. We cried when he left, and after sulking about it for days, took off after him. We worried with his friends, cheered him on in his battles. We read the hentai doujinshi and howled.
But still, we were unsatisfied.
Because of him, we learned a new language. We got
ourselves swords, frustrated ourselves silly over the lack of sakabatous,
and settled for a regular katana instead. Because of him we've broken arms
and legs while jumping off the roof attempting a Ryu Tsui Sen. We've played
video games while screaming "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu! insert attack name
here>", much to the dismay of our saner friends. Because of him, we take
our RK plushies with us out to dinner, and converse with them. We go out
daily to get ourselves tofu. We do our laundry by hand, in spite of owning
a perfectly functional washing machine.
Because of him, we practice battou-jutsu for hours,
trying to get the stance JUST right. We injure ourselves countless times
on the ougi, but resume practice as soon as we're out of the hospital.
We've been in trouble repeatedly for carrying a sword around in public.
We get looked at funny because we wear hakama and kimono instead of jeans
and t-shirts. We don't care.
Because of him, we've looked into getting a cross-scar
tattoo. And then decide to get the real thing instead. And we actually
follow through with it. Because of him, people avoid us when we have our
amber contact lenses in- they remember what we did the last time somebody
pissed us off when we had those in. We've grown our hair out ragged, and
dyed it flame red.
Because of him, we say "oro", and we protect our
loved ones intensely.
Enough about him for now. Because of his friends and enemies, we've done even worse.
Because of them, the kanji for 'bad' adorns our clothing.
We call girls "Jou-chan", and get bonked with bokkens frequently. We chew
fishbones or whatever else is handy to gnaw on. We bail out of restaurants
without paying. We've broken fingers while breaking rocks. We brawl and
drink. We wear red headbands and try to lift weapons entirely too heavy
for anyone to lift. We have hair that blatantly disregards the law of gravity.
Because of them, we can't cook, and we whack people
who insult our cooking. We can tie our obi into big bows. We have a favorite
indigo ribbon. We put up with a bunch of freeloaders we call friends. We
get giggly when drunk.
Because of them, we hate being called "chan". We
call our mentor "busu" and "tanuki". We're stubborn and proud. When we
get angry, we cling to the tall guy and gnaw on his head. We make excellent
throwing weapons, and we wield a mean shinai.
Because of them, we can bandage most wounds. We
become doctors. We flirt with our rescuers and make other women jealous.
We argue constantly with the rooster-head, and get called "kitsune". We're
crafty and witty and excel at verbal combat, if not physical.
Because of them, we wear a big white trenchcoat.
We don't say much, but will do just about anything to be strongest. We're
quiet and never smile, and quite possibly we're broken mentally. We prefer
kodachis to katanas, and we can cut through damn near anything with our
kodachis. We are adored and feared, and likely in need of some happy pills.
Because of them, we're hot-tempered. We follow our
object of adoration all over the place, even if he's unresponsive. We fling
fistfuls of kunai when provoked, and we aren't half-bad in a fight. We're
in charge of our group, since our former leader teamed up with the bad
guys and beat the snot out of the dirty old man who's like a grandfather
to us.
Because of them, we smoke and act like a jerk. We
uphold the law in our own special way. We call the hotheaded rooster "ahou",
and smirk when he gets ticked off. We've accidentally knocked holes in
the wall with our Gatotsu. We're currently sitting in jail on several counts
of "Aku Soku Zan".
Because of them, we've tried lighting ourselves
on fire. We're very familiar with the burn centers at all the local hospitals.
We're out to conquer the world. But unfortunately, we're sitting in a loony
bin at the moment because of our pyromaniac tendencies.
Because of him and his friends and enemies, we're
insane fans.
Authors notes: Heeheehee.... after reading "Our Kenshins" and "Our Kaorus" by dementedchris, and Talaco's tribute to RK, I just had to jot down this fit of madness. Fortunately, I can say that I have NOT done most of these things. (I am working on my battou-jutsu though, mind you! And I have been called raccoon girl once or twice >=F) If anyone out there IS like this, I would be extremely concerned. Comments are welcome =)