A/N: Hey, hey, hey, I haven't written in a really long time, so I wanted to do a short oneshot just to warm up to my Summer writing days. =D This is just Tigerstar, Hawkfrost and Darkstripe at a typical movie night in the Dark Forest. This week, Battle of the Smithsonian.
"I have come back to life!"
"No, no, I understand that-"
"I don't think you underthtood me. I said: I have come back to life!"
"No, I get that, I just-"
"You just what?"
"What an idiot," Tigerstar hissed. It was movie night, yet again, in the Dark Forest, and tonight's movie was Night At The Museaum: Battle of the Smithsonian. "He bothers me so much."
"I'm so glad tonight's movie night," Hawkfrost sighed, glancing at his polished claws, "I've been waiting to see the sequel to Night At The Museum for such a long time."
Tigerclaw nodded his head, "It does get boring here doesn't it?" Hawkfrost nodded, "Well that's why we invented Movie Night."
"I'm so tired of the whole 'I'm going to be stuck here forever!' routine." Hawkfrost rolled his eyes, "I mean, does StarClan ever get tired of telling stories about us to kits? Or reminding us that we're locked up here forever?"
"Ever… Ever… Ever…" Darkstripe echoed.
"Shut up."
"Okay!" squeaked Darkstripe as he dove for the pillow.
"Yes, it does get old after a while, doesn't it?" Tigerstar agreed. He put down his bowl of popcorn, and settled back into his beaniebag chair.
"I have come back to life!"
Tigerstar frowned, "You know that whole lisp thing he has going is really a turn off from the whole bad boy thing." He shook his head a couple times, before popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth.
"It really is. I can't take him seriously at all with it. I mean… ugh, just watch him!"
"I totally agree Hawkfrost!" Darkstripe squeaked from his wooden chair behind the two beanbag chairs.
"Oh shut up, no one asked you," Hawkfrost hissed. "I was just starting to enjoy this movie before you chimed in." Darkstripe immediately hushed, as Hawkfrost rolled his eyes, and began examining his claws again.
"Seriously though, I can't believe he would even keep that lisp. It's so, ugh, foxdung, annoying!" Tigerstar's brow furrowed a bit.
"I know, right?" Hawkfrost sighed, "I really can't take him seriously here, if you're going to take over the world, comedy is not the way to do it."
"Definitely. I always go for a more creepy way to do things. I've always found it more… effective." Tigerstar nodded to Darkstripe who was cowering in the corner.
"Oh me too, scary is certainly the way to go. Your enemies are always scared of the unknown, so if you have this aloof sense that you know something they don't, they get freaked out." Hawkfrost took his claw polish from the coffeetable and began painting his claws.
"Exactly, that's exactly how I feel on the subject. The less your opponent knows about you, the better chance you have of succeeding," Tigerclaw nodded.
"Of course that never happens in this films, because the villins never win," Hawkfrost hissed sarcastically, "It's such a shame though. I would love to see an evil Egyptian take over the world."
"Or that new G-Force movie," Tigerclaw picked up his laptop, "With the hamsters?"
"Aah, I don't remember that one."
"Maybe they were guinea pigs… Here let me find the trailer." After a couple seconds of typing away, Tigerclaw clicked the enter button and the trailer began to play.
"Let's just fast forward… Now where's the evil guy… There we go."
"It's not easy taking over the world…"
A look of recognition filled Hawkfrost's focused eyes, "Oh yeah, I saw that. Creepy is definitely the right way to go. Especially when you're taking on rodents."
"I mean, seriously, guinea pigs? That twoleg is a full grown man, for StarClan's sake, he could at least exterminate them the right way."
Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
"Although I am feeling strangely attracted to that female guinea pig…" Hawkfrost stopped painting his claws to get a better look.
"It's Hollywood magic, don't listen to your inner voices. They're not always right," Tigerclaw warned, "Trust me, there was this one mouse…"
"I have come back to life!"
"Oh wow. Is that really still playing? I thought we paused that a long time ago."
"Ugggh… I really need to stop eating this popcorn. It's so fattening."
"Hawkfrost, this is no time for your weight issues. We need to be able to remind ourselves how annoying this comedic outlook on life is. From now on, no more exclamation points for evil characters."
"That's it!" Hawkfrost chimed in, "I mean, that's it. That will keep the leadership sense about, and show no sign of weakness."
"It just makes you look silly in front of all your subjects," Tigerclaw shook his head in shame.
"Exclamation points are signs of weakness!?" Darkfrost yelped. He raised an eyebrow, "You two are insane."
"Well we are in the Dark Forest aren't we?" Tigerclaw countered.
"I can't believe I worshipped you! You can't insult exclamation points! They're the best!" Darkstripe whimpered, "If you insult them again, I'm leaving!"
"Ooh good, can you get me a double mocha chip latte on your way back?" Hawkfrost asked without glancing up from his magazine.
Darkstripe sighed, they were going to be here for eternity, so he might as well get Hawkfrost a latte. "Sure."
"Get me some coffee too!" Tigerclaw yelled.
"Exclamation point…" Hawkfrost hissed.
"I mean," Tigerclaw coughed, "Get me some coffee too."
"I have come back to life!"
"I really need to try that sometime, you know, to freak Firestar out?" Tigerclaw grinned.
Hawkfrost chuckled, "Yeah, you'd be all like, 'I've come back to life Firekit!' and Firestar would be all like, 'Nooo…!' and you'd be all like, 'Psych!'"
"Yeah! And then I'd steal his coffee and popcorn and run away… Wouldn't that be the life?"
"Yeah."
Darkstripe shuddered, and wondered what he had done to deserve eternity with these two insane furballs.
A/N: Well that was completely pointless. Ah well, that's what happens when you attempt to figure out what happens in the Dark Forest. You know you loved it! So go hit the little review button! It's not haaard... I want at least 5 reviews for this. =)