Title: Time Stands Still
Author: Brandy Leigh
Disclaimer: John Doggett and Monica Reyes don't belong to me, they belong to
Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox Networks. I'm not making any money off
of this, so don't sue me!
Feedback: DUH! Gimme! brandyb@exis.net
Archive: Gossamer, yes. Anyone else, please ask first!
Keywords: Doggett/Reyes romance, MSR mentioned; post episode
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Empedocles, NIHT, 4-D
Summary: 'Will I now, after all these years, finally admit to him what I feel?
Can I, or is it too late for us...?'
Authors notes: I tried this story out on atxc, The Vision and XMU and got a wonderful response. I therefore decided to share it with the folks of fanfiction.net, and I hope that it does well here also!
Time Stands Still (1/?)
by: Brandy Leigh
~*~
Things have never really been easy for John, even before the death of his son.
He and his wife never really got along, not that they showed it. They put on a
facade for the whole world, but I saw through it. I saw through to John's
pain...
I was one of the few people that could understand John Doggett. There was a
barrier around his soul and he was determined to never let anyone in. Somehow
though, I managed to work my way down into his very being. He'd never even
have to tell me what was wrong, I could always see it in his eyes.
That was one of the things that was special about my relationship with John.
We were more than friends... Never lovers, but sometimes I think he might have
wished it. I know the thought crosses my mind every now and then, even more so
now that we're working together on the X-Files.
I see John everyday, and everyday I wish I could just hold him and make all of
his pain go away. He's never gotten over losing Luke, and frankly neither have
I. I almost felt as if I was his own mother, or atleast someone close. When we
came upon his body in that field... I knew it was going to break the both of
us.
We've always been each other's strong point, even before his wife left him. We
grew closer over the years, and my feelings for him have grown. And now that I
almost lost him to the madness of this world, I fear for what may come of us.
Will I now, after all these years, finally admit to him what I feel? Can I, or
is it too late for us...?
I can only wait.
~*~
Monica... Why do my thoughts keep drifting back to her? It's like there's a
string in my mind, and everytime I start to think of something else it pulls
me back to the image of her face. Her black hair frames her jaw perfectly,
flowing in the wind as it whips up behind her...
I sigh.
Too many emotions and confusing thoughts for this lonely FBI agent to deal
with. Every since she's been back I don't know what to do with myself. I
thought if I left everything would become clear, but it seems that life was
twice as hard without her in it. But, now that I have her back, what now?
I've always been one to cut through the bullshit and come right out and say
what I think, but with Monica, things are different. She makes me feel... like
a kid again. Not in a bad way, no not at all, but... It's like I don't have a
care in the world. She makes me appreciate the finer things in life.
It's always been this way, even before Luke's mom up and left us one night. I
felt closer to Monica than I ever did with my wife, and that almost scares me.
It's like we have a connection deep down inside that I can't even begin to
explain. She's always been there for me, especially when Luke died.
If she hadn't been there for me after we found him in that field, I don't know
what I would have done. I take that back, I know exactly what I would have
done. My grave would have been lined up right next to my son's. I thank Monica
with every fiber of my being for keeping me here and keeping me sane.
Monica helped me realize that my life may have been shit, but Luke would want
me to go on, to find the bastard that did this to him. Maybe with Monica's
help, just maybe, I can. Someday I know we will. But for now I just need her
by my side, to keep me sane now that she's brought me back to the living.
Right now, that's all I need... or is it?
Once again, I am lost...
~*~
When John left, I knew it was just because he needed time. We had begun
getting close after Luke died, and I think it was just too soon for him. I
should have known, and maybe in the back of my mind I did, but the past is the
past. We must now live in the present and try to move on.
I sometimes wonder if it would still be too soon to tell John how I feel, what
he means to me. But like I mentioned earlier, it already feels like it may be
too late. For once in my life I feel completely lost, and I have no clue what
to do or say. John has a way of doing that to me, no matter what the situation
may be. I'm still trying to figure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
When I used to look at Mulder and Scully before Mulder left, I saw how happy
they were together and wished I could have that with John. I could see that
Mulder was in just as much pain as John, if not more. Still, somehow, he and
Scully managed to make things work out. If only Mulder hadn't had to leave
Scully and little William behind, I'm sure things would be almost perfect with
them.
John and Mulder have alot in common weither they want to admit it or not.
They're both stubborn, brilliant, handsome men, and both have been deeply
scarred by dark and painful pasts. They have both lost many people in their
lives... and they both are so blind to see those around them that care. Mulder
finally opened his eyes to see, now could it be John's turn?
But do I even have the strength to tell him? I think deep down he may know,
but if I never tell him, how can he be sure? How can *I* be sure until I can
say the words myself? I've always called myself strong, but no one is strong
when it comes to love... Not even those who stare evil in the eyes every day
could prepare themselves for the sting of love.
Maybe the only way to make it happen is to dive head first. Screw the world,
screw those who are against us. There is only us, and there is only now. If
I'm going to do it at all, *now* is the time.
Enough arguing with myself, it's time to jump.
I pick up the phone and dial John's number, fully aware of the tremble that's
going to be present in my voice. I close my eyes and halfway pray for the
answering machine. I am greeted by the opposite as John picks up and answers
my call...
"Hello...?"
~*~
End Part 1
~*~
Author: Brandy Leigh
Disclaimer: John Doggett and Monica Reyes don't belong to me, they belong to
Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox Networks. I'm not making any money off
of this, so don't sue me!
Feedback: DUH! Gimme! brandyb@exis.net
Archive: Gossamer, yes. Anyone else, please ask first!
Keywords: Doggett/Reyes romance, MSR mentioned; post episode
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Empedocles, NIHT, 4-D
Summary: 'Will I now, after all these years, finally admit to him what I feel?
Can I, or is it too late for us...?'
Authors notes: I tried this story out on atxc, The Vision and XMU and got a wonderful response. I therefore decided to share it with the folks of fanfiction.net, and I hope that it does well here also!
Time Stands Still (1/?)
by: Brandy Leigh
~*~
Things have never really been easy for John, even before the death of his son.
He and his wife never really got along, not that they showed it. They put on a
facade for the whole world, but I saw through it. I saw through to John's
pain...
I was one of the few people that could understand John Doggett. There was a
barrier around his soul and he was determined to never let anyone in. Somehow
though, I managed to work my way down into his very being. He'd never even
have to tell me what was wrong, I could always see it in his eyes.
That was one of the things that was special about my relationship with John.
We were more than friends... Never lovers, but sometimes I think he might have
wished it. I know the thought crosses my mind every now and then, even more so
now that we're working together on the X-Files.
I see John everyday, and everyday I wish I could just hold him and make all of
his pain go away. He's never gotten over losing Luke, and frankly neither have
I. I almost felt as if I was his own mother, or atleast someone close. When we
came upon his body in that field... I knew it was going to break the both of
us.
We've always been each other's strong point, even before his wife left him. We
grew closer over the years, and my feelings for him have grown. And now that I
almost lost him to the madness of this world, I fear for what may come of us.
Will I now, after all these years, finally admit to him what I feel? Can I, or
is it too late for us...?
I can only wait.
~*~
Monica... Why do my thoughts keep drifting back to her? It's like there's a
string in my mind, and everytime I start to think of something else it pulls
me back to the image of her face. Her black hair frames her jaw perfectly,
flowing in the wind as it whips up behind her...
I sigh.
Too many emotions and confusing thoughts for this lonely FBI agent to deal
with. Every since she's been back I don't know what to do with myself. I
thought if I left everything would become clear, but it seems that life was
twice as hard without her in it. But, now that I have her back, what now?
I've always been one to cut through the bullshit and come right out and say
what I think, but with Monica, things are different. She makes me feel... like
a kid again. Not in a bad way, no not at all, but... It's like I don't have a
care in the world. She makes me appreciate the finer things in life.
It's always been this way, even before Luke's mom up and left us one night. I
felt closer to Monica than I ever did with my wife, and that almost scares me.
It's like we have a connection deep down inside that I can't even begin to
explain. She's always been there for me, especially when Luke died.
If she hadn't been there for me after we found him in that field, I don't know
what I would have done. I take that back, I know exactly what I would have
done. My grave would have been lined up right next to my son's. I thank Monica
with every fiber of my being for keeping me here and keeping me sane.
Monica helped me realize that my life may have been shit, but Luke would want
me to go on, to find the bastard that did this to him. Maybe with Monica's
help, just maybe, I can. Someday I know we will. But for now I just need her
by my side, to keep me sane now that she's brought me back to the living.
Right now, that's all I need... or is it?
Once again, I am lost...
~*~
When John left, I knew it was just because he needed time. We had begun
getting close after Luke died, and I think it was just too soon for him. I
should have known, and maybe in the back of my mind I did, but the past is the
past. We must now live in the present and try to move on.
I sometimes wonder if it would still be too soon to tell John how I feel, what
he means to me. But like I mentioned earlier, it already feels like it may be
too late. For once in my life I feel completely lost, and I have no clue what
to do or say. John has a way of doing that to me, no matter what the situation
may be. I'm still trying to figure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
When I used to look at Mulder and Scully before Mulder left, I saw how happy
they were together and wished I could have that with John. I could see that
Mulder was in just as much pain as John, if not more. Still, somehow, he and
Scully managed to make things work out. If only Mulder hadn't had to leave
Scully and little William behind, I'm sure things would be almost perfect with
them.
John and Mulder have alot in common weither they want to admit it or not.
They're both stubborn, brilliant, handsome men, and both have been deeply
scarred by dark and painful pasts. They have both lost many people in their
lives... and they both are so blind to see those around them that care. Mulder
finally opened his eyes to see, now could it be John's turn?
But do I even have the strength to tell him? I think deep down he may know,
but if I never tell him, how can he be sure? How can *I* be sure until I can
say the words myself? I've always called myself strong, but no one is strong
when it comes to love... Not even those who stare evil in the eyes every day
could prepare themselves for the sting of love.
Maybe the only way to make it happen is to dive head first. Screw the world,
screw those who are against us. There is only us, and there is only now. If
I'm going to do it at all, *now* is the time.
Enough arguing with myself, it's time to jump.
I pick up the phone and dial John's number, fully aware of the tremble that's
going to be present in my voice. I close my eyes and halfway pray for the
answering machine. I am greeted by the opposite as John picks up and answers
my call...
"Hello...?"
~*~
End Part 1
~*~