This is to the Keane song We might as well be strangers. Its only a short peice of angsty fluff. Hope you enjoy it xxxx
I heard the song when I plugged the headphones into the socket and I couldn't bring myself to take them out again. It seemed so fitting at that moment. The rumble of the concrete bellow and the hiss of the air conditioning help me block some of it out but in all honesty I want to hear the words. I gaze out of the window as the space between the ground and I increase and I feel the warmth of the tear run over my cheek. It stings because I know it's wasted. A tear doesn't matter if there is no one there to wipe it away. I'll never have that again, I never did.
The clouds envelop us and it brings me some solace. There is something I've always found comforting about being above the clouds. The disconnection from everything earthly, it brings a peace of mind that not many people find. I don't know why I'm crying, it's something I just have to accept now. My life has changed and I have no choice in the matter, yet the tears still roll and there is an aching I can't ignore. The things I love most in the world ended in the most sorrow I've ever felt. The irony is brilliant.
My only wish is that I can see his face again although our lives will be so different so far apart from each other I doubt we will ever be able to have the moment we crave, I crave. If there was a way would we take it? I don't think I know the answer to that question. If we did it would be anguish if we had to leave, if we didn't the regret would be too much. I don't have the answers any more, I used to find them so easily.
My intellect, the one thing I value and was valued for brought this on me. If I hadn't had it would I be in this situation? The chances are I wouldn't but then the most precious moments of my life would probably not have happened. Do I believe in soul mates? I used to, I still do. Love at first sight? I have to. That true love will find a way? I hope so.
Who knows where I'll end up, if I'll ever find anywhere I can be comfortable can call home or if I'll forever be wandering the seas, the lands in search of the other piece of the puzzle. Wanting some one to show me the way, a path I can follow, someone to admire as I did before, and someone to love like I did him.
My breath catches at this thought. I can't love him any more, but I know I can's stop. The future holds so many unknowns, the stride I have to take as we touch down in unprecedented. I have no point of reference, the only constant is my empty feeling. I know he wouldn't want me to endure a life unfulfilled, the least I can do is make him proud. The least I can do is love a new life, embrace the days I have left and never forget the world I came from.
R&R Ta!