remembrance

a/n: i blame shay entirely. she decided one day, 'i'm going to drag ana into this fandom.' enjoy lovelies x

caesar's palace shipping week - august 6th - safe

wc: 406

He hated himself. He wished that he didn't, but he did.

There was a man. A man that cared for him beyond all else. He'd have visions - nightmares in which he just couldn't quite place what was going on.

But that man was there for him. The man was there, late at night, to whisper words of comfort. He trained alongside him, and treated him with kindness. The others distrusted him. It was almost as if the man knew what he was going through.

He slowly learned to trust the man, the man who insisted they were friends ages ago. They grew closer in heart, closer in friendship.

And he would forever hate himself for growing close - falling in love, with a man he couldn't even remember his past with, because he was the Winter Soldier, and he would one day hurt this man.

He feared that would one day hurt Steve Rogers, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Steve also hated himself. He felt so guilty, terrible as he watched Bucky suffer, unable to remember the things that happened in his previous life. He knew how much he wanted to remember what happened in his life, but just couldn't.

He felt that that their new budding friendship, along with everything that had transpired over the last few weeks, was all fake. It wasn't a real thing, and to keep it going would be selfish.

At least that's what he managed to tell himself every day. Everyone warned him. Sam warned him. Natasha warned him. That he can't get too close to a man that could turn on him any second.

But nobody can ever separate him from Bucky. Nobody can separate him from the man that he had been friends with since … forever.

He understood how Bucky felt. He understood how it felt to be gone for years on end; he understood how it felt to be lost in this world.

Over the days, he also felt something … new for his longtime friend. A feeling that could amount to love, though Steve didn't know that yet. Everyone was warning him, yet there was no other person that he felt more safe towards.

(Which is why weeks later, when Bucky had said I think I might be falling in love with you, Steve didn't deny it. However, he didn't let anything happen. Because Bucky had to remember first.)

a/n: i hope this was at least a little bit decent! x

please r&r :)

-ana