Disclaimer: No, i don't own the characters from Rizzoli & Isles, they belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and the guys a TNT. I only let out what came to my mind, no money is made by me with this, it is only to my entertainment and those who like to share. So no copyright infringement is intended!
The idea came to me when i have read "Treat it with care" by R. D. Ridge. Went through my head the whole day at work, so i only hope you like it.
Last warning: it is in no way nice, it is in a large part sad. Thogh if you don't like to deal with the dead of a major charakter - don't read it!
„I love you, Jane. " Maura said after they had some take out from their favorite Thai and Jane had pestered her at least a dozen times what was wrong with her.
"I know Maur, I love you to!" Jane answered light hearted.
"No, Jane, I am absolute sure you don't get what I am saying. I mean love as in being in love with you." Maura's face was white as fresh fallen snow. Jane sat there as being stroked by thunder. Very carefully she sat down here beer and looked at Maura as if Maura had mortally wounded her. Then she stood up and started to go, mumbling something in front of her.
"Jane..." Maura began to speak, but was stopped by Jane. "Later, Maur, please, I… I need some air!"
With that, Jane opened the front door, ignoring the rain and cold. Stepping forward. Maura sat on her couch, crying silently in her hands, when she heard a gun going outside. Panic drove her to the door where she saw Jane lying, trying to get back to the door. When Jane was nearly in the door, another shot rang, making sure that Jane lay perfectly still. While Jane tried to go back, Maura did what Jane told her over and over again, calling 9-1-1 and telling them that there is an officer down. While she did, she recognized that Jane didn't breath anymore. The last thing Maura saw was the world, closing on her.
When Maura came back, she heard a beeping sound, the room around her was dark and she recognized that someone was breathing in the room.
"Jane?" Maura asked irritated, "What happened?"
The Voice that answered her wasn't the voice of Jane; instead it was Angela who reacted.
"Maura, Sweetie, how do you feel?" Angela hovered around her, sounding very exhausted.
"Where is Jane?" Maura asked, panic filled her voice, rising when she heard that Angela started sobbing.
"Jane is…" she started but wasn't able to continue. While Angela struggled to tell her something, Maura drifted back in the blackness.
The next time Maura got awake, it was Angela again sitting by her side, wearing a black dress, still weeping.
"Angela, what happened?" Maura asked, looking around but seeing nothing of Jane, and then she remembered that Jane was shot and assumed that Jane was in a different room. Angela came over and sat herself on the bed to Maura, grabbing her hand.
"Jane didn't make it; she was dead before the ambulance had a chance to come, Sweetie." Angela looked very devastated.
"How long..." Maura wasn't able to continue, but Angela understood her well enough. "Over a week ago, yesterday we had Jane's funeral, the only time that you was alone here." Maura was totally shocked. While Maura tried to make sense of all of the things Angela told her, the door opened.
"Why, I mean, how comes..." Maura wasn't sure how to ask what was burning on her.
"Easy, Maura, you are my only left daughter…"
"Ma," Frankie stood in the doorway, "Aunt Theresa is out there to bring you home. I am staying."
Angela nodded and left, but not before she gave Maura a fierce hug.
After Angela left, there was an awkward moment of silence and while Maura thought about what to say, Frankie gave a sigh and grabbed an envelope out of his jacket, playing with it.
"Can you tell me, what happened?" Maura begged, Frankie seemed to struggle but then he began.
"Someone from the Russian mob thought it a good idea to kill you, that way hitting on Paddy Doyle. The hoped, they could break his strength that way. Their shooter hadn't thought that there could be someone else at your house, though he fired at the first female person who came out."
"Oh god, Frankie!" Maura was shocked, "Then it is my fault, that Jane is dead."
"Stop with that, Maura, it is not your fault!"
"Frankie, I told her short before she walked out that I love her. When I had stashed away my feelings for her, she would have stayed and being alive!" Tears were floating heavily down her cheeks.
"Maura, Jane loved you, probably no less then you loved her. Did she tell you that Casey proposed that day? That she told him, she will think it over? That Casey still believes that Jane would have said yes? That he couldn't imagine that there would be anyone else being able to connect to Jane? He never realized it." Frankie shook his head "Jane loved you more than her live. But don't forget that we were raised catholic. Hard to overcome this for her. Don't take me wrong, she was complete in love with you, and if someone had told her, that it was the choice that your live is gone or hers – she would have danced with a crosshair on her front only to keep you safe."
Maura was weeping and sobbing uncontrolled. After a short moment, he handed the envelope to her.
"This is a letter from Jane for you. She gave it to me in case something happened to her."
Maura held the letter in her hand and couldn't stop herself to ask Frankie "Do you know, what it is that Jane wrote"
"Yes, Jane wanted me to, she said that she had to be sure that I knew exactly how important it was for her that you got this." After a moment he said "I am going to grab a cup of coffee." With that, he left her alone with the letter. Maura took a deep breath and started with the letter:
My sweet Maura, my love, oh how I wished I was able to tell you how much I love you. How much I miss you every moment you are not near me. But that you got this letter means that I will never ever be able to hear you telling me amounts of things I would never ever expect to exist, that I will never be able again to sit with you, watch a movie with you, hear your voice and see your perfect face. And that I will never be able to tell you in person how much I love you.
I hate myself for being such a coward, but every time I try to tell you, I could freak out, afraid that you tell me, that you don't love me the same way, that it will ruin everything, that I will lose you. I couldn't live with that. So, my only chance to tell you not only that I love you, but that I love you more than my live is this letter. I really hope, I will be able to tell you one day, but
Maura, I swore an oath to defend the people on the Streets, but the only person I would lay down my live for – gladly! – would be you.
I love you, love you, love you.
Move on my Love, but please, don't forget me.
J.
When Frankie came back about ten minutes later, he thought that Maura slept again and sat down to not disturb her. He never ever saw a face so happy before. It took him a while to realize, there was no living being in the room beside him….