Becoming God- A Sosuke Aizen Autobiography
Sosuke Aizen
Preface by Gin Ichimaru
Disclaimer: We don't own Bleach, unfortunately. Tite Kubo does. If we did own it though, Gin and Ulquiorra would be alive. And Grimmjow would be a Hollow puppy!
Preface
Captain Aizen has way too much spare time here in Las Noches. Just yesterday, he came up to me and told me I had to write a preface for his autobiography that he decided to write. (Seriously, who writes autobiographies in their spare time? I ain't about to spend my free time writing my life story. But then again, it's not like there's anything better to do around here.) I don't know anything about writing prefaces, obviously, but here goes nothing. I mean, whatever Captain Aizen says, goes. He is the boss, after all. So if I'm going to write this, then I might as well get it over with.
There are just three things you have to know about Captain Aizen. First off, he's a very vain man. Now, I'm not saying he likes to dress up like a gay pretty boy or anything. He just likes to look presentable. I don't know why he bothers with it though. I mean, there are only me and Tosen here who see him on a regular basis. And Tosen's blind! So I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care even if Aizen came into the office wearing a Hawaiian shirt and playing the ukulele for Pete's sake! Though then again, Tosen isn't deaf so he would probably hear the ukulele, but that's beside the point. As for me, the other half of Aizen's audience, well, I don't care much what he wears. Clothes don't matter much to me; I like them off anyway.
The second thing you need to know is how manipulative Captain Aizen is. I mean, the man managed to deceive just about everyone in Soul Society for more than 110 years! Now that takes some skill. Of course, some of that he owes to his zanpakuto, Kyouka Suigetsu. I'm sure its power of Complete Hypnosis would really help out in a pinch. But he's pretty formidable all by himself too. Besides, the zanpakuto is a part of the person who wields it. So they're basically the same person. Anyway, Kyouka Suigetsu or no, Captain Aizen is a very manipulative man.
The third and final thing is the most important of all the things I've told you so far: Never, ever, under any circumstances, disturb Captain Aizen's teatime. He will not be pleased, believe me. It doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter how important your news is. Don't disturb him! It's not a good idea! How would I know, you might ask. Well, let's just say that I've had the personal experience. But I'm not going to give you any details. I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, so those are three things you need to know about Captain Aizen. Now, an interesting fact you may not know about this man is that he has a secret fetish for gardening. It's the whole reason he put a sun in Hueco Mundo, you know. And as much as I hate to admit it, he's rather good. He has quite the green thumb, our Captain does. But that's enough of me talking. Onto the actual autobiography! Bye-bye~!
-Ichimaru Gin