Busy Dream
or
Five moments Lauren knew Bo
and one where Bo knew Lauren.
Pink
She was six. There was a school trip, for fourth graders. Not that she was a fourth grader, just that she was reading at a sixth grade level and that Mrs Dickinson thought that instead of learning their numbers and two-times table (which Lauren already knew) that a trip would do better for her.
The trip was an hour on the bus with kids that whined most of the way. No one sat near her because she was the baby on the bus, but Mr Smith made sure to talk to her, and Miss Pinn said she was the best behaved kid on the bus.
Really, Lauren was far more interested in reading her book then throwing stuff down the aisle of the bus and screaming at the person from the other end, if they could 'pass the orange juice!' No, she didn't like it. The noise, the kids, the odd airplanes that flew into her face, and the odd bouncy ball, were all just annoying and completely ridiculous.
When the bus trip had ended, they were at another school, Lauren had stumbled off the bus, much to laughter of the kids behind her, and had found herself behind a taller girl with thick dark hair. The girl didn't turn around to see her, not at first at least. At first, she was talking furiously with her friend as she tugged with annoyance at the pink shirt she was wearing.
"I wanted red," the girl said to her friend, "but mum said to wear pink because red isn't for little girls. I don't even like pink on me!" The girl was furious with her own mother for not buying the red dress, but instead buying the pastel pink with the white flowers on it.
Her friend, god bless her, smiled and nodded as if she were paying attention, when in actual fact, she was staring at all the kids getting off the bus. The girl in pink had yet to realize that there was a bus full of kids behind her, and instead was furiously venting about her mother's lack of consideration in choosing pink over red.
Lauren had quietly whispered behind the girl, "it suits you." In about ten years, Lauren will realize that pastels never look good on people with skin color like the girl in front of her, and her mother should have given her red, or at the very least, something earthy.
Now though, the girl had just turned around to see Lauren standing there, shuffling her feet nervously as she stared at the ground.
"Sorry?" the girl asked. Slowly, Lauren looked up, offering a hesitant smile.
"I said...that I think you look good in pink." Pink wasn't Lauren's favorite color, not for another thirty seconds when the girl kisses her cheek.
"Thank you," the girl whispered. Although Lauren wasn't sure why she was being thanked, she was pretty sure that it didn't matter. She got a kiss and as the girl walked away, she realized that pink was to be her new favorite color, her lucky color.
II. Science Fair
There was another school trip. This time she was in fourth grade and the other school came to them. They were in the hall, all with their science projects out on tables brought in from their classrooms. The other school came walking in, at first they were in pairs, lined up behind their teacher, and then they scattered, running around to look at the difference Science projects.
It only took a moment for Lauren, and then she saw her.
It was a glimpse at first, she saw her walk past, dressed in navy blue skirt with a clean, white shirt. She went to say something and stopped, hiding behind her project instead.
At that moment, she wished she'd been wearing her lucky pink shoes with the silver clasp. Instead she was dressed in brown pants, a pale blue shirt and new, shiny, black shoes that pinched. Her parents had wanted her to look respectable, clean for when they presented her with an award they had no doubt that she'd win.
Still, she wished she'd worn her lucky pink shoes, maybe then she would have been able to walk up to the girl, grab her hand and kiss her cheek or something. To say 'thank you'.
Then she realized it didn't matter, because it wasn't like the girl would remember her. They'd known each other for two minutes, and all she had done was say she looked good pink, and that wasn't even that rememberable, she probably got told by many people. Still, Lauren liked to think that that kiss mattered to the girl, because it mattered to her.
Later, it turned out that the girl didn't. Finally, Lauren had worked up courage and said, "Hello," the girl, to give her credit, said "hey" back but looked at Lauren like they'd never met, and maybe they hadn't, not really.
"I'm Beth," she said, because back then, she'd been Beth Dennis. Innocent, happy, Beth Dennis with a big smile and dark brown eyes that felt welcoming, and a terrible memory for people's faces.
"That's a pretty name," Lauren replied. Before she could relay hers, someone came up and pulled away. Too quickly, she was whisked away by a teacher to show her project to other students, explain how she'd built the working model. She didn't see Beth until after the prizes were handed out, and she'd received a big smile from her parents, and a promise to have any singular (that was the important word to notice) toy from the toy store.
In the end, it'd been a tie between her and Matthew Mackenzie from the other school. She received a gift certificate, and a ribbon, but they didn't make her happy. Not until she looked down and saw Beth giving her a half smile before turning back to friends.
Lauren's stomach fluttered, lifting high as she watched the thick, dark brown pony tail, swish when Beth flicked her head to turn to another friend.
Later, Beth came up to her as she open her lunchbox.
"Yours was really cool," Beth said to her.
"Thank you," Lauren replied. "Did you want...my chocolate bar?" she offered. Beth grinned before shaking her head. Mesmerized, Lauren watched the hair bounce back and forth before blinking and looking away momentarily.
"I don't feel right taking it," she said, "mum doesn't like me taking other people's food and I don't wanna get in trouble.
If it was anyone else, Lauren's instinct would have kicked over, and she would have corrected her 'wanna' to want to. Instead she smiled, shrugged and blushed, looking up at Beth with her own big brown eyes. "You're really pretty," she blurted out before blushing even harder. Beth grinned at her, it was big and bright and made Lauren feel funny.
"So are you," she replied. Beth's mouth opened to ask her something before she whipped her head around, "I have to go," she realized, "But it was really nice meeting you..." she paused, frowning as no name came to mind.
"Lauren," she whispered to her, but Beth was already running back to the school bus.
III. Ribbon
The third time, she was crying. She was visiting her Aunt, who happened to live in the same town. By an odd string of coincidences, and something that could almost be seen as fate, Beth had been in the right place, at the right time to find Lauren crying on the swing.
Again, she didn't recognize her. It'd been four years since the last time they met and for a moment, Lauren didn't recognize Beth, though that could be because her eyes were blurry with tears.
"What's wrong?" Beth asked, sitting down on the swing beside her.
Lauren looked up, noticing Beth. It took a moment as more tears slipped down, for Lauren to see who it was. "I'm fine," she lied. It was the appropriate response, the one you were supposed to say whenever anyone asked, but Beth just laughed lightly at it.
"You're crying," she said to her. Before Lauren could grab a gasp of air, she was wrapped in Beth's arms, and sobbing onto her shoulder. Her arms were pinned between the two of them, and she could feel her chest heaving in the hefty sobs. She could feel Beth stroking her hair comfortingly, telling her that whatever it is, it'll be okay.
"Mum just rang me up," she began, "and she told me that my dog died. If I'd been there, at home, then maybe it wouldn't have happened," each few words were said between a heavy sob and broke her heart all over again, as she said it out loud. Lauren's dog had been her best friend and only real companion. She'd fed him, took him for walks, and he'd slept at her feet and unconditionally loved her.
At that moment, she didn't believe she could ever feel it again. But Beth had raised her head with the sharply cut blonde bob, cupped her face in her hands and kissed her forehead. For just a second, Lauren shut her eyes and breathed Beth's scent in, comforted by her touch.
She didn't say anything, didn't tell her advice, but she held her when she cried, and at that day, that moment, that was all Lauren needed.
When time passed, and Lauren finally stopped crying and pulled away. She looked up at Beth and again, noticed, that the girl didn't know who she was. It didn't matter though, she made it up to her in those moments of holding her.
"Here," Beth said, pulling out the ribbon from her hair and tying it around Lauren's wrist. "When you get sad, just look at it and remember me, okay? I've heard that you can bind souls together by tying a piece of string," she smiled, "maybe I can give you some of my happiness."
To this day, Lauren still has the ribbon, tied in a small bow, in an old jewelry box she's almost forgotten about. When she's sad, really, terribly sad, she remembers the box and opens it. There's some fae mythology about ribbons and connections, but nothing without some runes, or fae-powers involved. But simple, human psychology doesn't make sense to why the ribbon still brought comfort.
Not that she really studied human psychology. The brain chemistry behind it wasn't really there and that was enough for Lauren to believe that it was fae.
IV. Prom
Lauren brought up the prom once, to Bo. Tried to nudged her memories without her realizing. "My hair..." she'd hinted. It was pretty rememberable hair. "My dress..." she'd continued, but she couldn't quite remember the dress aside from the ghastly color. Bo had grinned, smiled, laughing, but she didn't remember.
Later, Lauren remembered why. Someone had made a comment about her hair, and she'd furiously fixed it in the girl's bathroom to a half decent state. She'd gone to leave, angry, with the corsage tight in grip and there had been Beth...Bo...the same person who'd she'd had a crush on since she was six years old, the girl she used to think would ride on a white horse (until she was fourteen, then it was a silver Porche 911 that Beth stolen and they were on the run from the police) and carry her away from everyone, giving her that beautiful smile.
"What are you doing here?" Lauren asked, as soon
Beth had turned, "I'm here on a date," she rolled her eyes, "I missed my own because I had the stomach flu, and one of my best friends knew how upset I was over it." Lauren had smiled, looked Beth over in the dress, knowing somehow, that the girl wanted it to be red, not blue.
"You look beautiful," Lauren had told her. Beth had returned the smile.
"So do you," Her eyes had held almost too long on the neckline, and Lauren blushed. When Beth's eyes came back up to Lauren's, she smiled before it dropped, "you look upset," she whispered. Her hand reached out, cupping Lauren's face as she stepped forward. "Is everything okay?"
Lauren wasn't aware of people around them, not that anyone seemed to notice, too entangled in their own troubles and happiness. For her, there was just Beth, and her.
Beth stepped forward, eyes holding Lauren's. "I feel like I know you," she chuckled under her breath.
You do, she wanted to say, you just don't...remember me. That was always a huge blow to her ego.
Instead she smiled, reaching up, taking Beth's hand before she kissed the woman's lips lightly. She wasn't her first kiss, not even with a girl, but it was the first time everything had felt right in that one kiss. A chaste, momentary kiss that didn't last long.
She half expected Beth to remember her, half expected her to slap her, but she didn't expect Beth to grab her face and start kissing her again, harder on the lips, taking her breath away for all the school to see.
"Sorry," Beth had murmured, "when someone kisses me..." she trailed off and smiled, "I kinda get hungry."
"Hungry?" she'd questioned. Beth shrugged.
"It's difficult to explain, but I've never gotten that hungry before. You're really tasty," she'd whispered. Lauren felt weirdly complimented, but before she could thank her, Beth was red faced, biting her lip as she ran of to her friend. "Sorry," she'd murmured, kissing her cheek, "I hope we meet again, it was nice meeting you."
No one knew Beth, not in this town, but everyone knew Lauren. For days everyone talked about Lauren making out on the dance floor with 'that really hot chick'. When her parents heard, they just shrugged and said, 'so it was a good night then?' They didn't care she was making out on the dance floor, they trusted her.
V. First Meeting
It's the last time they meet for the first time. The time where Lauren finally introduced herself, finally said who she was and Bo remembers who she is after that. It's been a while since she'd seen her, a long time.
Thing have changed. She's no longer the little girl with pig tails who liked the color blue, or the girl who had a pink ribbon tied on her wrist, and she's definitely not the girl with really bad hair who makes out on the dance floor - even if she had a repeat in medical school that was no way as good as her first time.
In the years that had past, she'd never forgotten Beth, but she had believed that she'd outgrown her and her fantasy's.
Now though...she walked in, talking about the Morrigan who'd barged into Light Fae territory. She'd heard about the mysterious new, supposedly unaligned, fae and everything was exciting, but when she walked in, when she turned and saw that it was Beth...she'd almost stumbled. No one, but the Ash, seemed to have noticed, and he just raised his eyebrow and turned back to the woman. Not Beth. She never said her name was Beth.
Bo.
Simple, clean, and somehow she looked more like a 'Bo' than a Beth. Lauren has smiled, tried to see if she recognized her, but she didn't. Then Lauren led her away, touching her back, and still Bo didn't notice her.
It was odd, how painful it could be to not be remembered. Four different meetings, four very significant meetings for her previously and this woman didn't remember a single one.
"My God, you're beautiful," she'd whispered, her childhood school girl, in the new, shiny black too-tight shoes, had said in her voice. Somehow, a part of her was echoing her childhood, whispering something to get a flicker of recognition from her as she turned away, blushing at her stupidity.
Still, Beth - Bo, didn't recognize her. Never said a word to her that suggested otherwise. And for the first time, in a very, very long time, Lauren went home that night, happy but heartbroken, wishing Nadia was there to hold her. Wishing anyone was there.
For the briefest moment, she missed her mother more than anything in the world, and it'd been a while since that sharp pain had gone through her heart. That night, Lauren wanted to wrap her arms around her mum, pretend to be a child and cry. She wanted to scream and shout about how she hated that she was so damn forgettable. She wanted reassurance, easy lies to make her feel better, but that couldn't happen.
Her parents...
Nadia had to call work for her. She just sat on the end of the bed, the phone sitting next to her, as she stared at the wall, unable to comprehend that she'd lost her parents.
That night, she found herself echoing the dreadful night. Though this time, she was sitting on her bed, staring at a pink ribbon, coiled in the palm of her hand, thinking of Nadia in a coma, sick with a disease she didn't know the cure for; Bo who didn't know her, didn't remember those times that she'd given something special, metaphorically, to Lauren; and how big and empty her bed had been for almost five years.
It was different now. She was different. She was completely alone.
Then she smiled, because Bo...Bo wasn't aligned, wasn't with the Light or Dark, but somehow, Lauren knew that she'd be seeing her again. It wasn't much, or really anything, but it had been a glimmer of hope for her that things would finally turn around.
Because that's what Bo was to her, what Bo had always been to her, in her life. Someone who walked in briefly and took the pain away, stripped her back to herself with a single smile and reminded her that things could get better.
I.One where Bo knew Lauren.
It had been a dream, at least, she'd thought it had. When she saw Lauren's dace, reaching down, smiling at her, asking her to "come with me," Bo had been sure that she was dreaming at that moment. She'd believed, thought that the woman was a figment of her creation. A woman she dreamed about in the dark nights as a spark of hope.
It wasn't for a while that she knew. She kept pushing it back in her mind. She just looks similar, I'm projecting my thoughts and a million other stray thoughts and weak excuses were used.
The fact was, Lauren had always been the first human she'd slept with, the first she didn't feed off and it was a bittersweet night for the both of them.
Not that either knew of each other's reasons.
It was night Bo made her first kill off someone who deserved it, who'd been about to severely hurt another girl. The guilt was there, as for any death, but it was easier, and the girl's smile, her crying and hugging before running off, made it easier.
She'd stumbled into the club, thinking she had a few hours until she'd leave again, and then she found her, the woman, Lauren.
"My birthday," she'd muttered to Bo. By the time Bo had finally talked to her, they were both drunk. Lauren more-so because of her human body, but Bo enough that she didn't think it was real the next morning when she woke up in her own bed, half dressed with nothing suggesting that anyone had even been there. "You look like someone I knew once," the girl muttered, "kissed me of the dance floor," she'd slurred.
"Why are you drinking?" Bo had asked. Lauren had smiled up at, the same smile that years later, she'd give Dyson before leaving. It was one that said everything, but hid more. One that said 'Fuck this, fuck life, fuck you.'
Bo had flinched until Lauren shook her head, "it's a long story," she muttered, "begins about two years ago in the congo." Bo didn't prompt further. Instead, she'd touched Lauren, releasing the endorphins.
She hadn't been hungry, and she was too drunk to work much of the powers. Instead, she found herself, in her own bed, with Lauren pinning her to the bed and taking everything from Bo that she could. They both just wanted to fuck and not remember it. They wanted to be someone else that night.
She didn't think it was real. It'd always been a dream, something vague she kinda, sorta remembered.
But when Lauren was in her bed again, this time slow, steady, Bo remembered the spots from the years ago, remembered where she'd bit and tasted, where to run her tongue slowly over and rake her nails up. She remembered that Lauren liked to be on top, and she remembered- God she remembered those hands and that tongue.
Most of all she remembered how the woman's eyes rolled back as she came, and if you kissed at the right moment, you could taste something sweet.
But Lauren didn't remember it, for whatever reason, Lauren had slipped out in the middle of the night, or the early hours of the morning and hadn't looked to see who she'd slept with.
Bo wished she'd did, she wished Lauren remembered her, wished Lauren realized that for years, every night, Bo would close her eyes, believing that Lauren had been a dream and something that one day, maybe, she could get to with enough control.
She wished Lauren realized how important she was, because Bo should have fed off her, but something stopped her. Something saw Lauren's bitter smile and just wanted to comfort her. Something...
...Maybe she'd just been too drunk...
But maybe not.