Set Me Free. Leave Me Be.
It had been Rachel who convinced him to go out and take back control of his life, after they returned to New York. And for some reason, she was convinced that they needed to reclaim Callbacks, despite a part of Kurt never wanting to go back into that little club again.
But even though it hurt to walk inside, to remember Blaine taking a turn on stage, to realize that something was wrong, to walk out and talk only for his first love to shatter his heart, Kurt understood what she meant. This time, it was his chance to show how Blaine's actions had hurt him.
So he moved up to the small stage when his name was called, he sat down at the same piano Blaine had used, and he started to play.
The few times he had performed at Callbacks previously, the songs were generally high-energy and fun. The music now was subdued and aching. And the tone with which he sang was a rough alto, rather than the usually pure soprano sound.
"Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long. No matter what I say or do I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
"You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.
"Set me free. Leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity."
It was the perfect description of Blaine. He had a charm about him that drew everyone. Kurt had done his best not to be jealous when it quickly became clear that the New Directions liked Blaine far more than they liked him. The girls considered him perfect and would lament that he wasn't straight, and even the guys excepted him.
"Here I am and I stand so tall. I'm just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me."
He remembered with perfect clarity so many moments where Blaine was chosen over him. And without seeing it, without knowing what was happening, Kurt had let himself be pushed into the background in favor of Blaine. And it hurt.
"Oh, you loved me because I'm fragile when I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone."
Once upon a time, Kurt had been strong. He had been proud and confident. He fought for solos, he never let his bullies beat him down, and even Santana and Coach Sylvester respected him. But then there had been Karofsky, and while that no longer affected him, Blaine had stepped up right when there was a chink in Kurt's armor. All he had seen of Kurt was his weakness, and soon that was all Kurt could see of himself as well.
"Set me free. Leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall. I'm just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me."
Letting the anger, at Blaine, at himself, at everyone who had ever made him feel like he would always be second to Blaine, he began pounding on the keys and the power of his voice was breathtaking.
"I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
"But you're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."
The note of the last word rang out, fading from filling the club to a gentle whisper.
"You're keeping me down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
"You're on to me, on to me and all over. Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long."
As his fingers played out the last few notes, he closed his eyes, held back the tears, and promised himself, Not this time. I'm not going to let him control my life or who I am.
And it shocked him when he was suddenly able to breathe again. Everything that had been a weight on his chest for months, possibly longer, was gone, and the abruptness of it almost hurt. Mostly, though, he just felt free.
… …
a/n The song used is "Gravity", by Sara Bareilles.