Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

.. .. .. ..

" 911 what's your emergency?"

"Um, oh my god, um," tear rolled down his face " umm,"

"Sir what is your name?"

"Um, we, um, we..." I chocked on my words "we um we, we need some serious medical attention. I don't think she is gonna make it..."

.. .. .. ..

Page Dr. Richards, we just got a call for accident on 38th and Linden the ambulances are in route.

.. .. .. ..

"Sir, What is your name? What is the state of emergency? Are you in any danger?"

"Um, they are - well her car is - I'm not really sure, everything happened so fast, just please hurry" I said with difficulty as a huge knot formed in my throat.

My breaths quickened as the tears began rolling down my cheeks, pinned in my car with no way to get free. The fear and panic built up as the words repressed back inside.

"Sir, I need you to stay calm, just listen to the sound of my voice, I assure you help is on its way."

"Just hurry - I'm um, in no real danger - they are the ones, that well, are in danger, just please help them." The severity of my situation began to settle in and tears began streaming from my eyes. All I could do was lay there pinned down, puffy eyed, in shock by they events that led me here. Was this Karma? Was this God punishing me for what I had done, for what I had become? Trapped and confused I tried making sense of everything, yet I was lost. I had no recollection of anything leading up to the crash. Maybe it was the shock or it was amnesia, I had no idea, all I could do was lay there and wait. Helpless.

.. .. .. ..

Page Dr. Richards. We got a three car collision with three in critical condition and one that requires medical attention. Page Stevens and Smith, we need all the hands we can get.

.. .. .. ..

"Sir, how is your condition? Are you O.K.? Can you stay on the phone until help arrives?"

"yes, umm...there is no pain but... i'm just..." [dial tone]

.. .. .. ..

O.R. 3 and 4 need to be cleared and prepped, we have three on their way. Page Christina and Chandler, we may need their consult.

.. .. .. ..

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

.. .. .. ..

"Sir, you still there. Sir?"

"Dispatch, this is unit 435 we just arrived on the scene. Requesting medical attention."

"435 this is dispatch medics are right behind you."

Glass was scattered everywhere. Metal crunched and bent. Lights were flashing, sirens ringing through my ears, it was all a huge blur. I had no idea where I was what I was doing, or really who these people were around me. This guy was being pulled out of my car bloody and cut, and there was this lady in the car smashed up against mine. She was unconscious, bloody and slowly being pulled form her car. She was covered in gashes and blood dripped from what seemed to be a nice white evening gown. The blood darkened her dress as she was wheeled and placed into an ambulance.

"Is… she gonna…is… she…" I struggled to speak but the words seemed glued to my lips. I tried extremely hard to sit up and get one quick glance at her before she was loaded into the ambulance and taken to the hospital.

"Sir, please don't move you are injured - try to relax - we are on our way to the hospital. The others are right behind us." The medic had this calming fatherly tone that instantly put ease into my mind.

At this point the tears were gently sliding off my cheeks as i was loaded into the ambulance and driven away. I had none left to cry. I was clueless at this point and felt even more distant and lost than I had been for the past few years.

.. .. .. ..

"We got two males in their twenties and a female in her forties with extensive damage to her head. Car accident no more than twenty minutes ago." The Medics began to prep each doctor on our conditions as we arrived. He pulled me out to pass me onto the doctors, "Twenty year old male, driving the car at impact, minor concussion, broken nose, possibly trouble breathing but no signs yet." I had the least injuries and was quickly moved towards the E.R. As we were approaching the doors I could hear them explaining the injuries of the other two. "This male," pointing at the man that was pulled from my car, "has three cracked ribs and a minor head contusion." Almost simultaneously another medic was explaining everything he knew about the woman that collided with me, "The female is unconscious possible internal bleeding and major head contusions. She has some cracked ribs and a fractured tibia. The doctors all rushed to our sides. They seemed like they knew what was happening, the way they nodded their heads and the engaged look in their eyes gave me comfort, but why was I shaking?

Everything was happening extremely fast. "Okay got it," my doctor nodded with assertion and wheeled me quickly into the E.R. Her step quickened as we entered the ER - Swoosh - the doors flew open, my bed was flying across the room. Bright lights rushed into eyes, as the sounds of pain and struggle poured into my ears. People with open wounds, elderly people battered and bruised, and people lying unconscious filled the room. Beep. Beep. The machines grew louder. "Okay we got serious work to do. Page Dr. Richards we need plastics." She ordered. Beep. Beep. Beep. I had so many questions for her. I could care less what my situation was, I was filled with guilt. I had to know what was happening with the others that were in the accident.

"What happened with woman...the lady...the...from other car?" I questioned my doctor, "Is she all right?"

"She's gonna be fine, we have the best doctors in New York working on her right now, how 'bout you just focus on your situation and we get you fixed up first, Sound good?" She encouragingly questioned me. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Yeah I guess she was right, I had time to worry about these people, I mean they said I would be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I kept telling my self that until they rolled me towards a new room. I have to be fine. Behind me I could hear the final beeps of a heart machine and the footsteps of the nurses as they ran to the bedside, but all the noises began to grow faint. We entered the room, the light engulfed my pupils and then everything got really bright and instantaneously nothing, blackness.