Hello again, hapless readers! Welcome to Princess Bubblegum's secret angst. This isn't based on any particular episode, just my general sense of the character. It's hard being smart. Not many people realize that. Well, I'm out of author stuff to say, so here's the
Disclaimer: I don't own Adventure Time. If I did... well, it probably wouldn't be as math.
Hello. I'm a genius.
Yeah, I'm totally bragging. My braininess measurements are off the scale. I get physics equations like Finn the Human gets swords. I can design a zombie formula or engineer a new Guardian and still have time to rule the Candy Kingdom. But my life isn't all sunshine and lab rats.
Think about the biggest donkus you know, the one who thinks special relativity is when your favorite cousin comes to visit. Now imagine that everyone in your life is like that. Everybody is mondo-momma stupid and you are the smartest genius you know.
Sound whacked?
Welcome to my world.
Why do you think most geniuses – Gunter, Magic Man, Huntress Wizard – are outcasts or villains? You think we're stuck up, and that's true (at least for me), but that's only part of the problem. It is so hard trying to make friends with people who can't keep up. It's like trying to hang out with someone stuck in Magic Man's time bubble. I have to literally dumb up my thoughts to be able to talk with people. Even then, a lot of the time I have to adopt a phony persona to make sure I'm accepted.
I hear you thinking, "But Princess, you've done so many great things with your beautiful brain. Why are you holding yourself back?"
It's the only way I can make real friends. There aren't a lot of peeps who aren't intimidated by my bodacious brain. Everywhere you look, everyone's obsessed with finding romance. (Poor Finn…) It's sad that no one seems to notice how wonderful having platonic friends is. Friends are a given. Nobody ships friendships.
I guess you don't really appreciate something unless you're starving for it.
At the end of the day, I guess I'm just another princess whining about "wanting more." Who cares about friends when I have my kingdom and my experiments? What do people matter when you have to dumb everything down for them (like I'm doing right now)? Who has the time to put up with dumbutts?
Sorry to disappoint you, but most of you aren't dumbutts. (Lemongrab is, but I don't think he can read.)
I know people who think that they're dummies, which is dumb. You are just you, good and bad and weird and just plain math. I know people who can do things (fight monsters with swords, phase through walls, play bass and sing at the same time) that I only dream about. We all have something to offer, but will anyone accept what I have? Will you tolerate my real self in all its big-brained, big-headed awesomesauce?
You know, you weirdos are all I've got. I need you.
Love, Princess Bubblegum
Mad scientists princesses need love too! Show your love for PB by reviewing and favoriting, or just go watch "Too Young." (Mad cute!)
Peace out!