Atton grabs a seat in the local cantina on Nar Shaddaa. "Give me a cup of Juma Juice and keep them coming." I can't believe it. The exile…my exile, is gone. Why does she always have to save the galaxy? And without me? Ugh, I need to take a walk. Atton leaves as soon as the bartender comes with his drink. But getting drunk won't make his feelings go away. He wonders where she is now…
I try to make it through this life, in my way, there's you. I try to make it through these lies, that's all I do.
I loved you. But did you ever love me back? I guess we'll never know now. You said you'd come back for us…for me. But its been three years already. Now I know how Admiral Onasi feels. Atton trudged along the path back to his beat-up bucket of bolts. But as soon as he steps on the ramp, a twilek lady comes running, holding his "lost" cup of juma. I know what she wants, but I can't. Even though she abandoned me, I won't betray her. Atton pushed her away and continued his way into the cramped smelly ship.
Just don't deny it, don't try to fight this and deal with it, and that's just part of it.
You have always avoided the subject. Saying instead, "Hey, um…do you want to meditate?" Of course, being the "patient" person I am, I sat down with her but let my mind wander. Thinking of you…the exile. I know you love me, but you are afraid to say so. Why?
If you were dead or still alive, I don't care, I don't care, just go and leave this all behind, 'cause I swear (I swear) I don't care…
Atton started up his personal ship, Lady Scoundrel, and typed in the coordinates for Telos. Now why am I going to Telos? Oh yeah, to tell off the whole new and improved Jedi Council that I'm leaving. Yeah, that's right…leaving. Cause I don't care anymore…wow, a couple minutes ago I would've stayed at Telos just for her. But no…I don't care about you anymore. Just die already so that this empty hole in my heart will go away…
I try to make you see my side, I always try to stay in line, but your eyes see right through, that's all they do…
Sure, we had our times. The first kiss you ever had…taken in the cockpit with me. But we had our bad times as well. You always criticized me about not doing things the jedi way while you don't do the right things either. When you finally told me why, you said it was because she didn't want me to fail…like how you failed the council. I vowed to do better but really…I didn't want to. She saw it in my eyes that I lied; her hurt expression wounded me.
Atton watched the blue hyperspace swirl around outside the cockpit window. He swore he felt a tap on his shoulder but when he turned around…no one was there. "Almost feels like you're here again like the old times…"
I'm getting buried in this place, I've got no room you're in my face, don't say anything just go away…
Even after our little talk, I still did things my way with a hint of the lightside. But you still pursued me about doing the right thing. That argument we had was long and brutal. I was indeed sorry for pushing you in the first place but you continued it by slapping me. That's what I liked about you…always persistent and you took no crap from people. Oh how I loved it when you beat up that male stalker who put a move on you earlier. You blushed when I commented on it, saying that you look cute when you talk someone down. It was true. But even then, when I did the same thing but only in a different situation; you still bugged me about it.
If you were dead or still alive, I don't care, I don't care, just go and leave this all behind, 'cause I swear (I swear) I don't care…
"Huh, I'm glad I'm leaving those cryptic people. Glad I'm outta there as soon as I get my stuff from my room." Hours later, he arrived at his destination. Telos was thriving if only slightly, but no one really noticed. Atton stormed into his room, packing everything and stuffing it into his bag.
"Atton, where do you think you're going?" Mira's voice echoed in his room. "Why were you off world? We are having a meeting right this minute."
"Because I'm leaving. Leaving you all…I'm done with this place."
"Atton, I know things have been tough since she left, but you have got to snap out of it! The Exile wouldn't have wanted you to dwell over her. She wanted you to help save the Jedi and make become whole again!"
"There you go again! I'm sick and tired of your constant ranting! You remind me of her!" Silence. "You always were against learning about the Jedi ways when she noticed the force in you. But now, you're like some sort of disciple now! I wouldn't be surprised if you and Mical were best buddies and lovers!"
"Atton-"
"No, you're not changing my mind. Just leave me alone already! Good-bye…" Atton brushed past Mira and didn't look back. When he was back in his ship, he pondered on where to go now.
Not changing everything, 'cause you won't be there for me, not changing everything, 'cause you won't be there for me…
Atton at last decided to go back to Nar Shaddaa. "Perhaps, my old room is still there…" He typed in the coordinates and the space outside turned into a swirling mass of blue again. He grabbed his pazaak deck and started a game by himself.
Its not fun without her anymore. I would always let her win…just to see her excited expression and beautiful smile. She was gorgeous…she was-
Frustrated, Atton slammed his cards to the floor and his eyes misted over. "Great…look what you did to me.", Atton whispered to himself. He was trembling all over and finally, Atton cried silently. Alone.
If you were dead or still alive, I don't care, I don't care, just go and leave this all behind, 'cause I swear (I swear) I don't care…
Did I care? Not really, but I do miss the memories. I miss her sparkling eyes that shone brightly whenever she saw me. But now, I don't care about you anymore. I really do want you to die…but die peacefully. No blaster wounds or sword stabs…just die in your sleep. Die with a broken heart. 'Cause that's what I have…
If you were dead or still alive, I don't care (I don't care), I don't care (I don't care), just go and leave this all behind, I don't care (I swear), I don't care at all…
One tear drop fell onto his trademark jacket and stained it…leaving another bad memory…"Come back…even though I don't care…"
A/N: I'm looking for a name for this exile. Read and Review. If you have a song suggestions that'd be great too.
Song: I Don't Care by Apocalyptica
A one-shot songfic-I own nothing!