Chapter 1: Lying For A Good Cause
The first time Hinamori saw the white haori with the kanji "10" emblazoned on Hitsugaya's back, she felt alarm pierce her heart and wondered why.
"I'm not ready," she thought. That must be it. And she certainly wasn't ready, despite having known that this was coming.
But the set of his shoulders (they are broader than I remember) and the smirk on his face as he turned to face her (that cocky smirk, the same as always, same as the very first time I saw him… was it really so long ago?), told her very clearly that he was. And of course he would be, why shouldn't he be ready? Hinamori had seen the glances other students cast in his direction slowly change over time from mockery to awe. She heard the whispers: child prodigy. But she also knew that he worked hard. He always worked hard, even if others were inclined to chalk it all up to genius, as if genius was some kind of magic that granted him all his achievements. Two kids from the Rukongai, when had they ever had anything easy?
Of course he was ready. And she should be, too.
"I'm worried for him," she thought. And this, too, was true. Because it was now his duty to protect others instead of being the one protected; to put himself in harm's way so that others may be safe.
"Captain Aizen is also a captain, and I don't worry for him. I don't worry about myself." All true things.
Her heart still hammered. She didn't know why.
Hinamori studied him, this boy drifting down the inexorable river to time towards his future. He was still standing there with his devil-may-care expression, so at odds with his steady blue-green gaze that seemed ready to wait forever for her reaction. She held onto the steadiness of that gaze; it was the first time she ever relied on his strength, though she did not realize it. There are many things she does not realize, and this will prove to be the least of them.
Hinamori took a deep breath and carefully formulated her reaction to this news (this wonderful news). She smiled brightly (as she should) and said loudly, "Congratulations, Shiro-chan!" Her (cheerful, very cheerful sounding) words echoed across the courtyard of the Seireitei. All lies, this deliberate 'reaction' of hers. It was the first time she ever lied to herself, though she rationalizes it. There will be many more lies to tell herself in the future, and this will prove to be the least of them.
For now, Hinamori told herself that she felt nothing but happiness, that there was nothing to dread and very little will change. She ignored the strange piercing in her chest that felt like a rift in her heart, a premonition of the distance that would grow between her and him in the years to come.