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Title: "Epiphany"
Author: Darkover, a.k.a. TheQueenly1
Characters: Jenny Calendar, Rupert Giles
Rating: K
Disclaimer: As far as I know, the characters of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" are owned by Joss Whedon, not by me. No infringement of copyright is intended or should be inferred. I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue.
Spoilers: "School Hard"
Summary: In a crisis, Jenny realizes something important.
We barricaded ourselves in the school library, and when I saw Rupert pick up an axe and head for the doors, for an instant, I really could not believe what I was seeing. I cried, "What are you doing? There are at least three vampires in that hall! God only knows how many others in the building!"
He barely glanced back. "Listen, I am the Watcher, I am responsible for her, and I have to go!"
"Rupert!"
He did pause then, at least for a moment, looking back at me.
"Be careful."
That wasn't what I intended to say. I intended to say; "What about me? Don't you feel any responsibility for me?" I wanted to say; "I love you." I didn't say either. I told myself that I didn't because those words would have made it harder for him to do his duty.
But that isn't why. The real reason was because if I had said either of those things to him, his answer would have been one I didn't want to hear. The truth is this; Buffy comes first. No matter how Rupert may feel about me, Buffy will always come first with him, and not just because she is the Slayer. She comes first because he loves her. More than he loves me.
And God help me, I still can't give him up.