Pairings: Mostly Kensei/Shuuhei, but mentions of others.
Rating: PG to NC-17
Warnings: Crack, Fluff (com'n-this is me! Have you guys ever seen me write fluff before?), Angst, Long as hell Sentences, Dark Themes, Anal, improper use of shikai, toys, mentions of child abuse, cross-dressing, bondage, voyeurism...if I forgot any, I do apologize!

A/N: So xglimpsex gave me a list of 69 prompts, and I've been working my way through them sloooowly-too slowly. So I decided to post the ones I have done and work on the rest hopefully next week. (Feedback always makes me more productive). The first 24 are from her list, #25 was one I couldn't get out of my head, and the last 8 are from a convo between me, xglimpsex and cairnsy a few weeks ago, wehn we were throwing prompts at each other (and I hope they post theirs, lol, cause they're brilliant). This is what happens when I procrastinate.

1. Mischief
"I think they're trying to tell us something, Hisagi," his new taicho said from the darkness behind him, a low counterpoint to the laughter fading away down the hall on the other side of the locked storage room door and Shuuhei silently swore to himself that he was going to kill Abarai and Rangiku when he got out of this damned closet—until he felt a long arm snake around his waist to draw him back against the solid wall of the Vizard's chest, warm breath fanning across his tattooed cheek as the bigger man leaned down to whisper in his ear: "I don't know about you, but I'm more than ready to listen."

2. Monogamy
It's just sex, Hisagi, don't confuse this for anything more, he'd said to his fukutaicho the first time he'd taken the younger man to bed, and had gone about making sure Shuuhei didn't get any ideas to the contrary; what he hadn't expected, however, was the possessive fury that filled him when he glanced up from the pretty shinigami plastered against his side and caught sight of his lieutenant seated across the smoky bar with the crimson-haired vice captain of the 6th, smiling faintly up at Abarai just before the redhead leaned down and kissed him—and Kensei was on his feet and crossing the room in the blink of an eye, his earlier intentions of keeping the younger man at an arms' length vanishing beneath the all-encompassing need to claim what was rightfully his.

3. Omniscient
At the time, he would have said that he'd had no idea that the dark-haired, sloe-eyed shinigami wrecking havoc on Aizen's forces that clear, cold winter day would turn out to be the same kid he had rescued from a Hollow a hundred years before, but the fact remains that the moment he'd laid eyes on that sleek figure across the battlefield he had instantly recognized Hisagi Shuuhei, and the fierce pride that had swelled within him while watching the younger man take out his opponents with such deadly grace had been accompanied by a sense of quiet certitude that their fates were intertwined—a belief he had held even back then, when he had first laid eyes on the boy crying at his feet.

4. Cord (or Chord)
The chord Rose had just taught Shuuhei reverberated through him, tugging at something low in his belly while simultaneously squeezing the heart he'd though long-since frozen in his chest, and Kensei swore silently to himself when the young shinigami looked up and their eyes locked for one long, breathless moment as the echo of the note faded away in the sunlit, dusty air of the warehouse's common area, stretching out to an eternity that was broken only when the silver-haired man answered the lure tugging at him and stepped forward, no longer able to deny the silken ties fate had woven between them a hundred years ago.

5. Link
Steel screamed as Tachikaze's blade plunged into the ground between the links of Kazeshini's chain, pinning the dark-haired shinigami's snared arms above his head as his silver-haired captain grinned down at him, gloved hands making short work of Shuuhei's clothes before unfastening his own hakama; Inner Worlds overlapped—sunlit ocean crashed against jagged rocks as the wind howled counterpoint, moonlit crumbling ruins echoed with the lonely wail of killing north wind—and two figures approached the twilight area of the shared border wearing identical feral grins, coming together in a clash of hungry mouths and tearing hands and straining bodies on rocky gray sand, echoing the near-violent fury of their wielders finally giving in to long-suppressed lust.

6. Devastation
Arriving at Urahara's shop minutes after sensing the Senkaimon opening, Kensei walked into the ex-captain's kitchen to greet his long-absent lover only to find a somber delegation of shinigami waiting for him, and for a long moment he could only stare blankly at the white-haired captain of the 13th division as the older man gently broke the news that Shuuhei was missing—he hadn't shown up for work for a week straight, and when they had gone to his apartment to look for him, they'd found blood and evidence of a fight, but no body—but then the numbness had worn off and Ukitake's words sank in, and the Vizard fell to his knees as the world went spinning away from beneath his feet, an animalistic howl of pain and fury tearing from his throat as his heart shattered into a million pieces.

7. Contract
They regained consciousness slowly, both groggily wondering what the hell had happened the night before that left them both feeling as if they'd been stomped on by the entire 11th division, and several long seconds ticked past before either one realized that they weren't alone and that their bed companion was the last person either one wanted to see, a full minute passed before they realized they were both chained to the bed—Kensei by his wrist, Shuuhei by an ankle—and not going anywhere, and five more minutes passed before the swearing died down—the Vizard's eyebrows lifted at the sheer creativity of the curses pouring from his fukutaicho's throat—and they discovered the crisp, heavy piece of parchment laying between them, upon which the words "Certificate of Marriage" were emblazoned, and the note that had been clipped to it from their so-called 'friends' explaining that they had all grown tired of watching them dance around each other and had therefore decided to take matters into their own hands and that no amount of petitioning would get said marriage annulled—so they might as well make the best of it and 'hurry up and just do it already'; fifteen minutes later Kensei had Shuuhei moaning to rival the most practiced of whore beneath him, and both men were thinking that having meddlesome friends might not be the worst thing in the world after all.

8. Wax
Shuuhei swore at the bespectacled ex-fukutaicho, yanking at the cuffs binding his wrists and ankles to the iron bed frame as she smoothed another narrow strip of gauze over the thick yellow substance surrounding his genitals before ripping it away; his howls brought the other Vizard running, Kensei at their head, but after one glance at his two dark haired lovers the ex-captain slammed the door shut in his friends' faces before stalking forward, a feral smile curving his mouth as he reached out and ran calloused fingertips across the shinigami's freshly waxed skin, a glow of approval lighting his golden eyes when the younger man shivered in reaction to the ghosting touch against newly sensitized flesh.

9. Faucet
They quickly discovered it had been a bad idea to handcuff Shuuhei to the sink as water geysered from the broken faucet to drench both the floor and the two men sprawled across the cold tiles, but after making sure his lover wasn't hurt, Kensei started chuckling—and Shuuhei joined in moments later, burying his face in the older man's neck as he pictured the other Vizard's faces when they saw the mess they had made.

10. Idiom
Brat, Shut up, Fuck—it took Shuuhei awhile to catch on, but now whenever he heard his lover utter those words he knew that the Vizard was really saying "I love you".

11. Infidelity
Shuuhei stood frozen in the open doorway, unable to tear his gaze away from the sight of his lover intertwined with a slim, pretty-faced stranger whose sobs of pleasure echoed like a death knell in his ears and sundered something vital inside him; tears slipping unnoticed down his face, he turned and slipped away as silently as he had come, stepping back into the rainy winter night that mirrored his freshly-shattered soul.

12. Piercing
When he'd found out that Shinji had gotten Shuuhei drunk and dragged him off to a tattoo shop, Kensei's only thought had been how he could best strangle the blond and get away with disposing the body unnoticed; the thin gold ring threading his lover's navel, however, turned out to be one of the most erotic things the silver-haired Vizard had ever seen—especially after he discovered that the lightest brush of his fingertips to the cool metal would coax the most delicious moan from his boy's throat—and Kensei had found himself thanking the other ex-captain instead.

13. Ink
The Soutaicho had reluctantly granted Kensei permission to come and pack up Shuuhei's belongings—despite the lack of a body, his missing lover had been declared dead after six months of fruitless searching—and the Vizard had been able to hold back his still-overwhelming grief until he had opened the trunk he'd found in the back of the younger man's closet and discovered it full of letters addressed to him, dating back almost a century all the way to the present; leaning back against the wall as the shadows lengthened and grew all around him, Kensei read each and every missive—a lifetime of hopes and dreams and hurts laid out in stark black ink, baring the younger man's soul first to a hero, than to a man, and finally to his lover—until the growing darkness and the tears sliding unchecked down his face blurred the carefully penned lines.

14. Amber
The color of the Vizard's eyes were the same shade as the jewelry he had once seen while on patrol in the Real World, and like that ancient, fossilized resin, Muguruma-san's gaze snared him and held him fast, trapped in their depths as the former captain stood over him while a war raged around them.

15. Snarl
After watching his lover struggling to brush his hair with the use of only one hand for several long moments, Kensei finally decided he'd had enough and crossed their small bedroom to take the hairbrush from the younger man, settling down behind him on the bed to finish detangling the silky, shoulder-length locks while Shuuhei relaxed against him with a sigh of contentment and a murmur of appreciation.

16. Tabi
One of Shuuhei's greatest pleasures in life was pulling off his captain's socks and pressing a tender kiss to the surprisingly delicate knob of bone of his lover's ankle; Kensei, for his part, loved when his fukutaicho padded barefoot around their rooms, the soft peel of bells accompanying each step a teasing reminder of the anklet he'd given his lover on his last birthday.

17. Vines
The lithe body he had spent so many hours mapping with hands and mouth-not out of love but as an act of possession-hung suspended above the forest floor, coiled in glowing blue vines erupting from Ayasegawa's zanpakutou; watching the younger man shiver in pleasure at every caress of those feathery tendrils, Kensei realized that he had lied to himself all this time-the dark-haired fukutaicho had stolen his heart already, and the knowledge of what he had so callously thrown away cut him deep inside.

18. Liquor
Unable to deny himself any longer, he leaned over and caught his fukutaicho's mouth with his own, groaning at the complex flavor of alcohol-laced chocolate and something that was purely Shuuhei as his startled Vice Captain's lips parted on a soft moan before clenching long-fingered hands in the front of the older man's haori and pulled him closer, neither one noticing the satisfied smirk Lisa gave Rangiku or the busty fukutaicho's answering eye roll before the two women left the office, their mission accomplished with just a gift of liquor-filled chocolates and the temptation of Shuuhei's throaty groan of pleasure as he ate one.

19. Fey
He'd wanted Hisagi to bond with his zanpakutou, finding the animosity between sword and wielder both unnatural and unhealthy; however, upon meeting his fukutaicho's gaze as the young man stood over him holding a dripping scythe, he began to think he should have left things alone—especially when Hisagi lifted the razor sharp weapon to lap at the shining line of his captain's blood staining the edge of the blade, an eerie smile curving his mouth as if he enjoyed the taste.

20. Photo
Confronted with the sickening evidence of the abuse his dark-haired fukutaicho had suffered at the hands of the three traitorous ex-captains—'Mate, you stupid blind fuck! He's our mate!'his Hollow snarled—killing rage boiled upwards, manifesting itself in gale force winds that shook the office walls and sent paperwork, books, and the heart-rending photographs of a broken Shuuhei whipping through the air; flung to the floor by the silver-haired man's fury, Shinji was thankful that Hisagi had been dispatched on a mission into Rukongai and therefore spared the sight of his captain losing control—and the humiliation of discovering that his darkest secret had been exposed.

21. Plaid
He knew he shouldn't laugh—Shuuhei's eyes promised murder if he laughed—but the sight of his lover's dark hair tied up in plaid ribbons dragged a chuckle from the older man's throat before he could help himself, earning a fierce glower that made the shinigami captain look more like pissed-off kitten than anything truly dangerous, which only served to make the silver-haired Vizard laugh all the harder and therefore secured himself a place sleeping on the couch for the night.

22. Skirt
He shouldn't have been surprised after the hair ribbons to see his lover wearing a tiny little plaid skirt that skimmed the top of his thighs; the few inches of pale skin between the tops of silky stockings and the hem of the skirt drew Kensei's hands like a magnet, until Shuuhei turned his head from his position over the Vizard's lap and glowered at him, snapping "Get on with it, would you?"

23. Scarf
Defiant, hot green eyes glared up at him from over the length of orange material that had been used to gag the angry shinigami, but Kensei ignored the kid and his own embarrassing erection to glance down at the green-haired, scarf-less woman standing beside him with a lifted brow—where the hell was he going to find her a replacement for the beloved article of clothing?

24. Decadence
For Kensei, luxury was not found in expensive trinkets or perfumed bodies moving beneath silken sheets; rather, he found all the riches he could ever possibly desire in inky hair that slid coarsely through his fingers, scarred flesh that yielded beneath his hungry hands and mouth, the hoarse moans and whimpers he tore from an arched, damaged throat as he sank himself deep into his lover's leanly muscled body on clean, cheap cotton sheets in an apartment deep in the heart of Rukongai's 57th district.

25. Toy
Kensei preferred using his fingers and tongue and mouth on his lover; however, the sight of Shuuhei on his knees, wrists cuffed behind him and attached to a small ring at the base of the wide black plug filling his ass would always constitute one of his most treasured memories for years to come.

26. Peanuts
Kensei wanted to kill Shinji for introducing the kid to peanuts, and Shuuhei for being so oblivious that he could sit at the kitchen table contentedly munching on handfuls of the salty treat while completely unaware of the fact that one of the Vizard's favorite foods happened to be peanut butter; he stared at that glistening mouth hungrily from beneath lowered brows, imaging how good the young shinigami would taste if he hauled him up and licked into his mouth.

27. Cigar Box
He kept it tucked away in the back of his closet, far from the other Vizards' prying eyes but still close enough that he could take it down easily; the brightly colored box with it's lingering aroma of rich tobacco held a precious sheaf of letters from his shinigami lover-steamy, sexy, mouthwateringly erotic letters-that were meant for his eyes alone.

28. Angels
Neither one of them were angels-they'd lived too long, saw too much, bled and wept and suffered; buried inside Shuhei, however-listening to his moans spiral upwards as his back bowed and his body sucked him ever deeper, wrists bound to the headboard of their old, wide bed and his long legs wrapped tight against the older man's hips as the Vizard fucked him slowly-well, Kensei thought that this was the closest he would ever come to heaven, and if he asked his lover, he was sure Shuuhei would agree.

29. Search
He'd finally given up his search for his missing lover three months after Soul Society had declared Shuuhei dead, feeling as if the dark-haired young man had taken his heart with him and left him empty; nine months later Urahara sent a message asking that he come to the shouten, and when he entered the warm kitchen he felt his heart stutter to life and his knees buckle as a familiar dark head turned, hollow, haunted green eyes lifting to meet the Vizard's incredulous gaze.

30. Prom
Kensei wanted to murder Shinji for asking Shuuhei to Karakura High School's prom, but the blond ex-captain merely laughed and called him jealous, sidling a little too close to the younger shinigami for the silver-haired man's comfort, grinning lecherously-until Shuuhei firmly told him that he wasn't wearing a damn dress and that was that.

31. Tile
Staring at his remaining four tiles-'Z', 'F', 'P', and 'K'-Kensei knew he should have never agreed to play Scrabble with his new fukutaicho, no matter how fucking sexy the kid happened to be; tiles snapped down on the board, one after another: 'F', 'C', 'K' 'E', surrounding a 'U' and a 'M'-and the Vizard's head snapped up to see his gorgeous lieutenant smiling faintly at him from across the desk, one dark eyebrow lifting in silent inquiry that tore a groan and a silent 'Thank You, Kami' from the older man a heartbeat before he reached out and dragged his soon-to-be lover across the shining wooden surface and into his lap.

32. Impulse
It had been pure impulse on Shuuhei's part to go to the Vizard's warehouse; pure impulse that had him storming across the large common area and right up to the silver-haired ex-captain who had been haunting his sleep for weeks-decades, Shuuhei, a century, Shuuhei-pure impulse that had him shoving the bigger, taller, stronger man against the wall as he raised up on tip toe and sealed his mouth over Kensei's head tilting and tongue licking a slow path across the Vizard's bottom lip and deep inside when Kensei gasped-and he moaned in surrender when gloved hands closed harshly around his hips and jerked him full length against the tall, broad frame, allowing the man that had haunted him all those years to take control and satisfy both of their urgent needs.

33. Figures
Kisuke sat in a darkened room deep in the interior of the shouten, face bathed in the eerie glow of the big screen television as he contentedly waved his fan in front of his face; on the screen two figures moved together in a rhythm as old as time-one sleekly muscled and slender, the other bigger, powerful as he dragged his smaller partner up into his lap and fisted a hand in dark hair, yanking his lover's head back in a long arch to set his teeth into the graceful curve-and the shopkeeper idly wondered if the Shinigami Women's Association might like a copy of this particular tape as proof that he had done his part in bringing the new captain of the 9th together with the silver-haired Vizard that had once held that very same position.