The Intransigence of Shadow
Summary: Set during the days Kagome spent in darkness at the end of the Inuyasha manga. Do not read if you do not want spoilers about the end of the manga series. This will not be set precisely to the events of the second and third last chapters of the manga, but will be very closely based.
Authors Note: It has been… such a very long time. I am unsure whether I could possibly explain what has caused such an extended absence from my writing, for I am unable to explain this fully to myself.
Inspiration struck me today for some unacquainted reason, and I felt that I had to write again. So here it is, my own take on the final chapters of the manga. I hope you enjoy, and can excuse the rustiness of my writing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters portrayed within this one-shot. That right is reserved for the one and only Rumiko Takahashi. Some of the original text has been duplicated for effect. The short poem at the start is one of my own works.
"Deep within a pool of darkness and despair, she waits for you, living for a dream and a prayer, a plea that soon you will come, to light up her midnight, with eyes bright as the sun."
Shimmering Crystal droplets hung suspended upon the desiccated ocean of blackness that enshrouded her, the void of silence and frozen tears began consume the very luminosity of her being. Light extinguished from a seemingly perpetual flame.
Kagome opened her eyes to the unerring black she had been entombed within. This was a habit she was beginning to wean herself from, as the darkness in her fading eyes only gave way to her dreams, the final solace the miko had, in this place, at the end of all things.
The dream… how she loved it and yet loathed it so. Kagome dreamt that she had held him close to her once more. Her fingertips tingled; she could still feel the warmth of his torso pressed intimately against her chest. The smell of the forest surrounded her, crisp autumn leaves and the smell of fresh spring water from his soft skin. Hairs on the miko's neck stood on end, the remnants of his whispered growl tracing her spine.
She had dreamed this dream before, a vision so sweet and powerful, filling her with an undying hope, only to have that ripped from her chest, a pain as through the very air were stolen from her lungs. Yet, Kagome would not trade this pain for anything in the world, she would endure it all, and more, if only to hold that audacious hanyou in her arms one more time.
His memory was starting to fail, like all else that made her who she was. Things the miko had sworn always to remember and cherish: lessons, loves, dreams, faith and spirit all seemed to fade into shadow. All that remained within her shattered soul were trepidation and broken dreams. Kagome had begun to feel a distance from her humanity, from her very essence; a kind of self-preserving numbness took over her senses. Enduring darkness does that to a person; its barrenness affects a person's soul comparably so.
That arrogant voice fought with all it's might to break through her dulling mind, through a wall of ostensibly endless black. The hanyou's low growling voice echoed in the miko's cavernous mind,
"Don't give up, I'm coming for you!"
Kagome allowed the air that had compressed itself in her chest release a mournful sob into the callous shadow. More tears trickled from her eyes. Inuyasha's voice was getting weaker with every day-like hour that passed in this ageless obscurity.
"You don't belong with him…" Hissed a voice from the dark, cold, heartless and chilling to her very soul. "You never belonged with him, make the wish, return to your own time."
Kagome's brow creased in pain at the sound of those words, spoken from the speared jewel that sat suspended above her. Somehow it knew her fears, the Shikon no Tama knew just what to say to make her feel a terror in her heart that she had never known before now.
Not even Naraku's threat, nor all the perils of her life amounted to what she felt now. Alone. It was the first time in her young life that the miko had truly known what it was like to be completely alone in the world, with only shadow to keep her company. She was losing to her fear of the blackness of the eternal tomb she was encased within.
"I want to see them again… Mama, Ojii-chan, Souta, Sango, Miroku, Shippo… Inuyasha…" Kagome thought inwardly.
The faces of the people she loved and held so dearly close to her heart ran through her minds eye. Faces she loved were starting to fade into the night. Kagome wrapped herself in a self-preserving embrace, feeling colder than she had ever been, although the windless plains of pitch-dark were not the cause of such a chill.
Kagome looked up to the Shikon no Tama, speared upon her arrow. She had saved everyone, that is, all bar her. What did it matter? She had saved them, saved Miroku from his Kazaana, saved Sango from losing a brother once again and also her love, she had saved Shippou, allowing the young Kitsune to grow up peacefully and she had saved Inuyasha. Saved him from his torment, from his pain. If they were happy, then that was all that mattered. So why couldn't she come to terms with her fate?
The miko sighed mournfully, was she being selfish? "Of course I am" Kagome thought, wiping the tears from her eyes and watching them float like crystals in the dark. Sighing once more, Kagome closed her eyes, seeing her Grandfather before her. He was holding one of his silly Shikon jewel reproductions. A voice so fondly missed, echoed in her memories.
"Make your wish, and you will see them again."
Kagome looked to the jewel once more, "If I wish… I can go home?" her voice cracked with emotion.
She admitted it; she didn't want to spend the rest of eternity alone in the black of this place. The place that was stripping her of all that she cherished, piece by piece, her soul was crumbling to ash. The only thing that stopped her from wishing upon the jewel was the over-whelming caution in her heart. After all Kikyou had merely wished to see Inuyasha one more time, and Naraku, she was sure his wish would have been even more modest. Nothing they wished for granted them what they desired so ardently.
"So you choose eternal darkness…" Echoed a malicious hiss from within the Shikon jewel.
No one would ever get what they really wished for, why should she be any different? It was then that her Grandfathers voice spoke to her once more,
"When the last person to hold the Shikon no Tama chooses the right wish… the jewel will be purified… and disappear from this world…"
Her last moments with Kikyou then came into Kagome's memory. It was then that the miko understood what she had to do to finish this once and for all. At long last, Kagome finally understood what the right wish had to be… although she was scared to make it. What would become of her?
"I know what to wish for…" Kagome said into the chasm, her soft voice barely a whisper in its depths.
Kagome closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Kikyou's words sounded in her head "It is up to you now…" Had Kikyou known what Kagome would ultimately have to do? Had that been the reason why she had given Kagome the bow from Mount Azusa? This thought made Kagome feel more alone than ever. Had it been her destiny that she would have to destroy the jewel, paying no regard to what would happen to herself?
Kagome paused in her thoughts. "When did I turn into this selfish girl?" she considered agonizingly. The miko let fall, a warm tear from her eye and opened them once more, looking up as though conversing with a celestial entity. Her friends came into her mind once more, happy memories, days spent on a whim, fairytales that lived. She remembered all the days the six companions spent together as they reeled through her head as though her life were played at speed before her.
Kagome smiled as she thought about the Sengoku Jidai and her friends. Sango's compassion, Shippou's curiosity, Kirara's loyalty, Miroku's wisdom and Inuyasha's passion. He had told her once, that he would always protect her. It was now Kagome's turn to return the favour. This time, she would protect him. Never again would he be burned by the will of the Shikon no Tama. She only yearned to hold the hanyou's gaze one more time.
"Inuyasha…" Kagome whispered with tears in her deep brown eyes, "I'm scared…"
The miko closed her eyes and readied herself for the wish and for whatever was to become of her. It was then that a voice broke through the silence…
"Kagome!? Can you hear me!?"
Kagome's eyes opened slowly, sure that she had been imagining Inuyasha's voice, as she often had been.
"KAGOME!?"
Her eyes widened in disbelief and tears of joy spilled from the ducts of her gleaming eyes.
"INUYASHA!?"
An eruption of hope shot through her soul, rekindling a fire within, one almost vanquished by chilling night. He came for her, she could hear his voice resounding in her head, more clearly than if the hanyou were to stand before her.
"DON'T WISH FOR ANYTHING! NOT UNTIL I GET THERE!" Inuyasha called out to her vigorously, "WAIT UNTIL I AM BY YOUR SIDE! CAN YOU HEAR ME KAGOME!?"
Kagome's hands rose to her mouth, he was coming for her, he always came for her.
"I CAN HEAR YOU INUYASHA! YOU'RE CLOSE ARENT YOU?"
Senses rekindled, told Kagome he was near. The iciness, fear and anguish, rapidly dissipated, allowing warmth to reside in their place. A glimmering ray of hope shone in the miko's shimmering heart.
Kagome looked into her fate, into the depths of the Shikon jewel with eyes warm, sparkling with fervour. "Inuyasha… has always come for me." Kagome voiced silently in her thoughts, "I'm not scared anymore."
"Do you want to see him?" cooed voices from the lanced jewel above.
Closing her eyes, Kagome remained silent.
"Answer me Kagome." Hissed the voices, once more adopting a harsh, cold tone. "Do you want to be with him?"
Kagome remained silent for a few more moments, her eyes remaining closed. A calm enshrouded her body as she finally replied.
"I'm… not going to wish for anything." Responded the miko softly. Her eyes slowly slid open. "Inuyasha will come… I believe in him."
Hearing a thud from above, Kagome looked up, his name chorusing the halls of her mind. A rumbling shook the miko's core… and then she saw it… silver tresses dancing on an airless wind, eyes of burning amber, like the rising of the sun. The priestess stared at his lips as he uttered her name. Trembling fingertips reached out to touch the hanyou's chest… this wasn't a beautiful dream… he was there before her… no longer a ghostly illusion…
Kagome's lips parted and her eyes filled with tears. "Inuyasha…" she whispered, and fell into his embrace, holding his body tight into her own. "I wanted to be with you…" Inuyasha lowered his sword; his free hand ran clawed fingers into her velvety, raven locks, bringing her closer still. The hanyou rested his head against hers, his eyes closed, relief shining in his face.
The embrace parted slightly, as Kagome turned to face the Shikon no Tama. Inuyasha's arm remained around the miko protectively, unwilling to let her leave his side again.
"Shikon no Tama…" Kagome stated with a newfound strength. "I'm making my wish."
The words her grandfather had uttered so long ago reverberated profoundly within her mind. "When the last person to hold the Shikon no Tama makes the right wish… The jewel will be purified… and disappear from this world."
If Inuyasha had not come, Kagome knew she would have lost to her fear of the darkness, and she would never have discovered the right answer, but now that he was by her side, she had nothing more to be afraid of. Kagome's grip on Inuyasha's haori tightened, and then she spoke with utmost intensity.
"SHIKON NO TAMA! DISAPPEAR! FOREVER!"
There was a resounding crack that echoed in the black abyss. The Shikon no Tama vanished into the fading dark… and then there was light… it was over. The jewel of four souls had finally been destroyed.
Inuyasha looked down into the miko's gleaming eyes and sheathed his father's heirloom blade.
"It's over Kagome… you defeated the darkness."
"Only because I have you… by my side" Kagome replied softly, looking up into golden eyes of sunlight, eyes that lit up the dark, and she smiled sweetly as they were absorbed by light.
"When the light has sharply faded and you have lost your way, let another's love guide you, it can turn the blackest night into day"
- Kevin Meyers
Well, I sincerely hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it for you. Reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated, as they help to keep my writing morale at it's highest :
I know that this ended in a rather strange place; it actually ends where the final chapter in the manga is about to take place. The reasoning behind finishing my writing here is because I may, in future consider continuing this onto the final chapter and beyond the cessation of the manga itself.
That, however, is for another day. For now I would like to gage the reaction and response this one-shot receives.
Thank you for reading,
Love Mandie xx