Her fingers tiptoe up and down, fleeting moments of heat with each touch. I am perched upon the edge of my seat, legs sitting comfortably in her lap. I watch her, cautiously, carefully, eyes flickering from the slight curve in her bangs to the bend of her wrist. She is looking somewhere to the left, probably lost in her endless imagination as her hands run the length of my calves absentmindedly. I am oblivious to the stares of the others; this is nothing new. She and I have always been like this. I smile, melting into the sensation of her fingers on my skin. I close my eyes.
We are eleven and she is flying. She has always been flying, but today, it is almost literal. My eyes follow blonde hair floating in space as she goes higher, strands curling around each cheek as she comes back down. Her hands are wrapped tightly around the metal chains holding her seat up, feet dangling in the air. She returns, and my hands press gently against her back, less than a second to memorize how the muscles fit into my palms. She is flying again, giggling as she soars, arms stretching out as if she could embrace the world in a moment.
"San!" She twists her head, an easy smile spread across her face as she tries to look at me.
"San! I can't see you!" Her joy caresses my face, urging a smile on. I laugh softly, pushing her as she comes flying back to me.
"Of course you can't, B. I'm behind you." She makes a face, scrunching up her nose in the way that tugs at something inside me ever so gently.
"Well, fix it! I want to see you!" I laugh again, walking around to face her, making sure to give her a wide berth so that she doesn't accidentally kick me.
"Well, now I can't push you!" She shakes her head, eyes squeezed shut, smiling.
"I don't mind. As long as I can see you." She is still swinging, each arc becoming smaller and smaller. I smile, a familiar warmth spreading through me. I walk towards her as she comes to an almost stop. Her legs stretch out and wrap around me, pulling me in. She giggles.
"Gotcha." I smile at her, my eyes immediately drawn to hers. She throws her arms around me, eyes sparkling as her fingers entertwine at the base of my neck. My hands drift, fingers tiptoeing up her thighs. They come to rest at her waist, my palms curving around her hipbones comfortably. Not for the first time, I wonder how everything just works between us. Maybe it is because we are best friends. But her eyes interrupt my mental queries, searching my face. Something flickers through her eyes, and I cannot tell what it is.
"San?"
"B?"
"Close your eyes."
"Why-"
"Just do it!" I give her a look of confusion. She is never demanding, always asking. She winks at me, amused at how she has once again caught me off-guard.
"Cmon, San. Please?" I cannot resist her pout, and close my eyes. Her lips press against mine gently, more of a statement than a question. But I have no answers, and hold my breath instead, fingers pressing down around her hips. Then she is pulling away, my eyes shooting open instantly at the lack of contact. I look at her, my eyebrows pushing together confusedly.
"B...?" She just smiles and reaches out, rubbing at the center of my forehead with one finger, smoothing the tension from my face.
"I just wanted to see you."
I open my eyes. She is looking at me, her eyebrows pushed together, concerned.
"San? Where did you go?" I smile and reach out, rubbing at the center of her forehead with one finger, smoothing the tension from her face. My fingertips linger on her cheek before dropping back to my lap. I look down, blushing slightly.
"I went to see you." I do not elaborate further, knowing that she will understand what I mean. She smiles, her eyes immediately lighting up.
"Gotcha!" She claps her hands together, more than pleased that she has managed to catch me daydreaming again. I laugh, shaking my head gently.
"You always had me." She grins happily, reaching out with her pinky, sliding it into the crook of mine. I curl it gently. She looks up at me, expectant, hope lining the corners of her eyes.
"So you're mine?" She begins pressing her fingers between mine, and my eyes widen, pulling my hand back before she can continue. I swing my legs off her lap, crossing them, establishing personal space. Her face falls, broken.
"I...I can't...I just...no." I look away, teeth settling into my lip, pushing just hard enough so that the throbbing pain is the only pain I am aware of. She stands, crossing her arms. I can feel her gaze on the back of my neck, and I refuse to meet her eyes. All I can hear is the quiet tapping of her shoes and the swoosh of the door as she leaves.