An Unlikely Source of Comfort
Draco Lucius Malfoy – Prince of Slytherin, Head Boy, and all around pureblood badass – not sat in the window of the astronomy tower, swinging his legs precariously back and forth as they dangled over the outside ledge, high above the semi-frozen ground below. His hands were braced on either side of him in the alcove of the window, helping him steel himself for what he wanted to do. He had put up with far too much in his short seventeen years in the wizarding world, even more so within the past year. He just wanted to jump, plunge to his death, to escape this hell which his life had become. Draco pushed a lock of his platinum blond hair out of his eyes and took a deep breath, ready to heave himself over the edge; he would have gone through with it, had it not been for that voice.
"Hello? Who's there?" a feminine voice called from the doorway. It sounded so sweet, melodic, and innocent, yet filled with worry and anxiety. He had heard that voice before but he couldn't quite place it.
"Go away," he said quietly, his voice sounding thick with emotion as tears began to fill his eyes, stinging with the fact that he couldn't get this done and over with. Draco never wanted anyone to see him like this.
"Draco?" the mystery person called out tentatively. "Why are you up there? Please come back down."
"Just go away! Leave me alone!" he cried out, his voice cracking slightly. He slid closer to the edge of the window ledge, ready to jump whether she left or not.
"No, not unless you tell me what's wrong," she said calmly. Draco turned his head to look back at the annoying little chit who had the audacity to mess up his plan of suicide. He gasped inwardly when he saw the all too familiar brown bushy head of hair.
"Granger?" he asked in surprise, still shocked that she called him by his first name.
"Draco, please come down from the window," she pleaded, taking a step closer. 'Her voice doesn't really sound too bad when she's not spouting useless information in class or yelling at Potty and the Weasel,' he thought.
"Why do you even care?" he asked scathingly, returning to normal. "You'd probably like very much to push me over the edge, wouldn't you?"
"No I wouldn't actually," she replied quietly. "I wouldn't like to try to help you through this. I think I could really help you if you let me."
"How could you possibly help me?" he asked. "You're a mudbl- muggle-born, you know nothing about what I've been through!"
"If you come in from the window, I'll tell you how I can help you," she coaxed, taking yet another step closer. 'He didn't call me a Mudblood,' she mused. 'Maybe he is changing.'
"Why can't you just let me go?" he cried. 'She hasn't got her wand out yet,' he though. 'Maybe she does care.'
"Because despite how completely wretched you were to me over the years, I can't let you die like this," she said honestly, approaching still closer. "You're not meant to die like this."
"Okay, I'll bite, how can you help me?" he asked mockingly as he swung his legs back inside the castle, placing his feet firmly on the ground, and standing up to his full height of 6'2". Hermione approached him carefully and wrapped her small arms around his middle, leaning her head against his chest, hugging him; he felt warm and human, not cold and distant like she had thought. This small sign of affection broke down the dam holding back his tears. He had been Pansy's boyfriend since fifth year because their fathers had arranged for them to be betrothed. They had kept up appearances in public, being friendly and all, but behind closed doors, they hated each other. He had had his fair share of women, they were only for a meaningless shag when ever he needed it; they hadn't meant anything at all to him. He used to kick them out after he finished. His parents never spoke to him about love because it would 'damage' him. They were never affectionate with him because they feared that he would go soft. Aunt Bellatrix was the worst.
He hugged her back and put his head down on her shoulder. This sudden shift of weight caused her to stagger a bit, but she braced herself and widened her stance with familiarity and ease that only came from her experiences with Harry and Ron. Her hands ran soothingly up and down his back, trying to calm his tears down. They stood there for a good fifteen minutes without words other than Hermione's soft cooing in his ear, and Draco's intermittent sobs. She ran her skilled fingers through his slightly long hair, just like she would do for Harry and Rom when they came to her upset. "You wanna tell me what's bothering you?"
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," he mumbled into her hair.
"Sure I would, one thing most people don't realize is that I can be a great listener when I'm needed," she murmured into his ear, then pulled away from the embrace. "Let's sit."
She drew out her want and noticed that Draco had flinched, but she didn't mention it; she made a mental note to ask him about it later. She took off her scarf and transfigured it into a soft, cushy mattress. She fell back onto it and sank down, sighing in relief of comfort. He sank down as well, crossing his legs Indian style and put his head down. "You sure you're ready for this?" he asked, not making eye contact. "It's a lot."
"I'm here to listen to what ever you want to tell me," she said.
"Alright, you remember when I came back before Christmas break was even over? I was really sickly looking and no one would speak to me who was in Slytherin? Or anyone else for that matter?"
"Mmhm," she murmured.
"Well a lot happened over that short break," he sighed. "My father tried to get me to join the Death Eaters and participate in my first revel."
"And you didn't want to join," she stated simply.
"No, the Dark Lord is a sadistic bastard and I want absolutely nothing to do with him, I never did really. My father, the cretin, thought that if he offered me up for services to the Dark Lord, all of his transgressions would be absolved; so he could get back into the inner circle again. So he pretty much forced me to leave the castle for the holidays by threatening to kill my mother if I didn't go. I love my mother more than anyone else, I know she showed me love in subtle ways and defended me when my father took my 'teaching' too far. I couldn't handle it if he killed her on my account.
"He took my to this little grave yard – I'm assuming the same one Potter was taken to – nasty, dirty little place. And all of my father's friends were there, all the Death Eaters. They all circled around the bastard, bowing and worshiping the fucking ground he walked on. In the middle of the circle was a stone dais. You could tell there was a body on it, but stunned or something cause there was no movement under the cloth covering it. The Dark Lord spoke to my father and he presented me, like some kind of ritualistic gift. I told him that I didn't want to join. He tortured me for over an hour using Crucio and a few spells I've never seen or heard of before. I've never felt more excruciating pain than a crucio from the Dark Lord. I wanted to die right then and there.
"After that was done, he took the covering off the dais; lying on the stone was Pansy. He enervated her and I couldn't do it. He wanted me to rape her, but from the look on her face, the fear in her eyes, I just couldn't do it. I honestly don't think I could do that to anyone, I actually respect women in that sense, even Muggle-borns. He tortured me again. Then he tortured Pansy, trying to get me to save her, but all I could think about was getting away and checking in on my mother. I kept backing away from the dais, but my father stopped me.
"I sent a blinding spell into the middle of the circle, punched my father in the face and ran to where the end of the anti-apparition wards were. I apparated away to my house for the sole purpose of finding my mother. She always went into her sitting room to get away from my father. It's all decorated for her. I found her sitting in her chair, just like normal, but this time her throat was cut from ear to ear. He killed her with his bare hands."
"I'm so sorry Draco. But you did the right think, checking on her. What you did was very brave, you were so strong. Not many wizards could apparate after being tortured for that long," she said sincerely, putting her hands around his clasped ones. He looked up at her with tear-filled eyes. "You need time to grieve for her, it would help you come to terms with everything."
"What would you know about it?" he sneered angrily, wrenching his hands away from hers and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I saw my mother dead!"
"I would actually," she murmured somberly. "Last winter, your father murdered my parents as we got home." She took a deep calming breath. "I had hurried inside the house to drop off my first set of bags and when I came back to grab the rest, I saw him. He cast the spell, standing there over their freshly dead bodies before he apparated away."
Draco's jaw dropped. "I'm sorry Hermione." This was the first time she could ever remember him using her first name. "How can you stand to be around me?"
"I know you're not your father. I was difficult at first, mainly because you didn't know. Then I grew not to hate you," she said simply. "Though you may look very much like him, your eyes are different. His are cold and distant, and yours are like the sea after a storm."
"I guess you're right," he said, with no air of self-confidence what so ever.
"Look, I know what you're going through," she said, crawling over to sit next to him. "If you need to talk to anyone, let me know, I'm available day or night."
"Thanks, but I don't fancy getting attacked. Haven't Potter or Weasley staked their claim on you yet?" he asked, a hint of dejection in his voice.
"They have each other really," she sighed, looking at Draco to see his reaction.
"You m-mean they're…?" he stammered, eyes opening wide.
"Yes, Draco, they're gay; been together most of the past two years I reckon," she confirmed, smiling about the fact that she knew something before he did.
"I guess I saw that coming," he mused, cracking a small, genuine smile. "I seriously thought one of them would claim you though."
"Nah," she said. "They're both like brothers to me." The clock tower struck midnight.
"I guess we should be getting back," Draco said, getting up from his seat on the mattress and helped Hermione up as well. "Thank you, for everything."
"You're quite welcome Draco," Hermione said. She transfigured the mattress back into her scarf but he quickly stooped down to grab it.
"Here," he said as she handed over the scarf.
"Thanks," she replied. He nodded. They headed out of the astronomy tower and back down to the Head's Dorm on the sixth floor. Once they were in the common room, Draco made to go to his room but Hermione put a hand out to stop him, grabbing his arm.
"No," she said. "I wanna be sure that you're not gonna sneak off and try it again. You'll sleep in with me."
He nodded numbly. All Draco wanted was to sleep and finally have some pain chipped away. It felt like a huge burden off his shoulders, after telling someone this. Her room was very similar to his, but they weren't in house colors. It was decorated in earthly tones of brown, green, and tan. She had transfigured his clothes into something else he would be comfortable in: grey sweatpants with the word SLYTHERIN spelled down the left leg and a dark green long sleeved shirt. She took her pajamas from the bed and went to their joint bathroom to change quickly. When she returned, he was standing in the same spot she had left him in .he looked her over and decided that she looked adorable: she wore Ron's old flannel sleep pants and a shrunken t-shirt from Quidditch.
"On you get, under the covers," she prompted gently. He nodded silently.
"Where are you gonna sleep then?" he asked as he was about to touch the covers.
"On the bed as well, its large enough for two to fit comfortably," she said, going to the opposite side of the bed and crawling beneath the magically warmed sheets. He followed her into bed and sighed when he felt the warmth of the fuzzy sheets.
"So much better than the silk ones," he groaned.
"I know," she said smugly. "I have a question."
"Go ahead," he prompted, rolling over to face her.
"Why did you flinch when I took my wand out?"
"Oh, you noticed that," he sighed. She nodded, turning over onto her stomach and resting her head facing him on her crossed arms. "My child hood was anything but pleasant, especially because of my father and Aunt Bella."
"What did they do to you?"
"My earliest memory of all of this, I was five. I was down in the dungeons and my father was teaching me the basics of dueling."
"You learned to duel at the age of five?" she cried out.
"I really couldn't consider it dueling, more like teaching me what pain was and how to hide my emotions," Draco clarified. "I would be down in the dungeons for several hours everyday, trying to make him proud. But he eventually subjected me to more than I could handle, making me black out."
"That's horrible," she said, reaching her hand out to put on his shoulder.
"Aunt Bella used to do the same thing, when ever she would visit that it. Uncle Rolf wouldn't though, he quite liked me. He slapped me around a far few times to keep up a good image for Aunt Bella, but he would always go and check out my injuries after a while. He was friends with my mother, but they couldn't get married because Aunt Bella had to get married first, being the oldest girl."
"But why flinch because of me?" she asked.
"You're a powerful witch, just like Aunt Bella," he said softly. "You know, I've never told anyone this before."
"It's always good to speak about things," she said sagely.
"Now that you know my whole life story, is there anything you need to talk about?" he asked. "It's only fair that I reciprocate."
"First, let's make a pact that we won't tell others about anything we hear or say tonight," she prompted, holding out her hand. He took her hand a shook it. His hands were warm and strong, not cold and clammy like she originally thought they would be.
"Okay, well, when I was twelve, after my first year at Hogwarts, I was forced to spend the summer with my Aunt Carol and Uncle Mike. My parents were out of the country for a dental conference. He was always giving me hugs and my aunt never noticed. Then finally, one day when she went grocery shopping, he raped me. He told me never to tell or he'd kill my aunt and my parents."
"How could he do that to his twelve year old niece," Draco fumed.
"Quite frankly, I don't know how he could live with that, I really don't know how I did. He kept doing that until I was fifteen. He even convinced my parents that I loved spending my time at their house. Finally, the summer before fourth year I ran away, to the Weasleys. I owl'd my parents from there and told them everything. My aunt and uncle are now in jail because he raped me and she actually knew but kept quiet about the entire thing. I went to counseling and stuff but it didn't really help. I've never even told Harry or Ron about this, or even Ginny."
"That really wasn't something you needed to experience, you're still so innocent."
"My innocence was taken long ago," she sighed.
"Tell me about it," he prompted. She spoke of all the trials she had encountered while here at school from the sorcerer's stone to the battle last year in the school itself. It took nearly three hours of going on about all their troubles.
"Does it always hurt?"
"What?"
"Does sex always hurt?"
"No," he assured her. "I mean it feels good, the sensations, but I guess I've never really FELT something about it. Well, those girls you all see me with, all they want it my money, so I just used them for a quick shag."
"I thought you and Pansy were happy?"
"Nah, appearances only .only a quick shag if we were really desperate enough," he said.
"Would you…. That is to say, would you help me know how it feels?" she asked timidly.
"Are you serious?" he asked, his jaw dropped in shock.
"Well, you're not really a bad person, you've been a lot better this year," she reasoned. "And you've said you've never really felt something, so why not?" I could be good, and if not, you can go on your merry way and forget this year ever happened."
"I don't think I'd want to forget," he said, a slight husky tone to his voice. "I guess I've always kinda fancied you I reckon I did tease you quite a bit when we were younger."
"Really? You'd help me?"
"It's a bit more than wanting to help, Hermione." Her name coming from his mouth sounded so sinful. "Have you ever really kissed anyone before?"
"No, Viktor tried to, but I guess I freaked out on him a bit," she admitted, blushing slightly.
"It's understandable," he said, wriggling his body closer to her.
"I know, but he pretty much hates me because I won't tell him why," she said.
"He never deserved you," Draco said. "I wanted to hex him out of the way when I saw you two at the dance fourth year."
"You seemed pretty cozy with Pansy that night," she pointed out.
"That's because it was still new then," Draco said. "I'd much rather think about you right now." He leaned his head down to nuzzle his nose against her before he laid his lips on hers. She let out a sigh and pushed her lips firmly against. He was shocked at this; he thought she would be more timid about things. He moved his lips against hers but quickly deepening the kiss, his tongue pushing into her mouth. Hermione went along, reciprocating his movements and learning her own style. He began to shit so he lay half over her, their chests pressed together. She stiffened up so he pulled back.
"Sorry, too fast," he murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead as a calming gesture.
"No, it's just… can I be on top?" she asked, blushing profusely.
"Of course, I just want you to feel okay about this," he murmured. "If you need to stop at any time, just say so."
"I know, but I just need to get over this fear, I want to have a normal life," she said adamantly. Hermione mustered up enough courage and strength to roll him over on his back and settle herself, straddling his stomach. He put his hands on her hips to keep her steady. She leaned down to kiss him, her hands bracing themselves on his broad chest, and her hips slid down to rest over his. Hermione felt that arousal he was starting to build. His hands slipped under the t-shirt feeling her curves, the smoothness of her skin, and her strong back muscles. Her kisses were languid at first but soon generated a greater sense of urgency. Soon, her hands traveled down his torso forcing her to break the kiss. She sat back on his thighs and slipped her hands under his shirt, feeling the tone of his muscles. Draco sat up and pulled her closer for a kiss. She began to tug on his shirt and he obliged, lifting his arms so she could remove it. His chest was pale just as she pictured, but the thin blond hair was a bonus.
"May I?" he asked, tugging on her shirt. She nodded before kissing him again. A sudden change in temperature caused her to break away and look down. Her shirt was gone.
"W-what…" she asked, bewildered.
"Wandless magic," he said, smirking up at her.
"Fine, well two can play that game," she smirked right back. His pants rematerialized on the sofa across the room.
"Touché," he conceded before removing her flannel pants and kissing her again. His hands roamed freely over the soft skin, taking in all her curves. "Mmm, so perfect."
"Ah," she cried out as he sucked her earlobe into her mouth, nibbling gently. "Reactive little witch," he mumbled. His hands moved over her stomach and cast the contraception charm, a tell tale warmth leaving his hand and settling somewhere just behind her navel.
It was a frenzy from there, the rest of their clothing shed, her hips swiveling down onto his ever-growing arousal. She sank down on his length, letting out a seemingly never-ending moan. He was bigger than her uncle; he filled her more, perfectly. She moved up and down, twisting her hips slightly on her down stroke. Soon he as thrusting up into her, their timing perfect. She was keening as her orgasm built inside, bubbling furiously to the surface. Hermione slammed her hips down on Draco's pelvis, her inner walls clamping down around his length. The sensation was too much for him, he released his orgasm with a feral groan. She slumped forward on his chest, her head resting over his heart, she heard the fast pace of the beating. "Wow," she panted.
"Yeah, wow," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her back, stroking her wild wavy hair. Contrary to what people thought, it was soft and silky.
As to what everyone else thought, these two lost souls became great friends. Their next obstacle would be tackling her friends.