Title: I'm With You
Author: royal_chandler
Rating: K+
Word Count: ~1,700 MW
Summary: James comforts Starr when she needs him and the world doesn't feel quite right.
Disclaimer: I don't own OLTL or any of its characters.
A/N: This is my response to the lack of James energized by Arvil Lavigne's AOL Session of her song "I'm With You." Yes, this is me hinting that you should listen to it soon. Also this will probably feel very rushed, considering I wrote it in like an hour.
James' boss doesn't tell him exactly what's the matter so when he changes out of his uniform and into his regular clothes, his mind is racing a mile a minute. All he knows is that it's some sort of family emergency that was called in and James can't help the images that play, about a dozen horrible scenarios featuring the people he loves.
He hates that he doesn't even think to check his phone until after he's tied his shoelaces in a rush.
James' stomach turns to lead when he sees that all of his five missed calls are from Starr.
Forgetting to close his work locker, he runs out of the room and makes a beeline for his car. When he's seated, he listens to the most recent message, his heart aching at the pain in her voice when she tells him that she needs him—that she's waiting alone outside of his apartment.
Please, please get here.
It's a nearly miracle that he's able to gain enough control to start his engine, that he doesn't fumble too badly and lose all competence when guiding his vehicle through the streets to his apartment building.
And she's exactly where she said she'd be, arms wrapped around herself tightly until his limbs replace hers—until her tear-stained face turns into his chest and his lips press to her forehead. They just stand there until her cries dwindle and their breaths slow and syncopate.
James pulls back and gives her a small smile that he doesn't entirely feel but hopes is comforting. "Let's go inside, okay?"
Starr doesn't say anything; she just nods and moves out of the way, allowing him to open the door and gently pull her in before locking it back. He leads her to the couch and after they both sit, he asks, "Do you need anything? Like water or something?"
She shakes her head and sniffs behind a fist. "No. No. I just need you." Her eyes are sad but clear when she adds, "Nothing else will help."
"Come here," he says softly before holding her close again. Her legs settle over his lap and he cards his fingers through her hair. "Do you want to talk about it? That might help too, make you feel better."
When she doesn't respond immediately, he thinks that maybe she's chosen to keep it to herself and that hurts but he'd rather he be in pain than her, he's willing to concede to whatever it takes to make her smile again. However after a few moments pass, she weakly states, "It's about my dad."
With his free hand, James strokes her side soothingly, letting Starr know that she can take her time to continue—also to thank her for letting him in.
"There's this guy walking around town with my dad's old face, insisting that he's Todd Manning and I don't know whether or not to believe him."
It's so completely unexpected that James can't help blinking stupidly at that. "I um—I don't understand."
Starr laughs but it comes out hoarse and brittle. "Join the club. It doesn't ever stop sounding ridiculous."
"I guess that it wouldn't. Can you start from the beginning maybe?"
She goes on to explain the previous night in vivid detail, starting with her arrival at the red carpet event to how the movie had turned out to feature his brother and Deanna and then to what happened to be the biggest surprise of the night—a scar-faced ghost walking into her family's life, rendering them speechless and leaving them shaken.
Starr is unearthed in James' embrace by the end of her story so he tightens his hold, suddenly feeling fiercely protective.
"Twinkle," he begins softly. "I don't know what to say. That's a lot to take in. Do you think that he might be telling the truth? Could he really be your father?"
She frowns at him them, guilt apparent in her features. Shrugging, she tells him honestly—but obviously still scared to let the secret loose—, "I don't know, James. And I feel horrible because how can I say that? I have my dad here. This guy, yes he has my dad's old face but he's a stranger. I don't know him. I know my dad. I love my dad. I love him so much. I mean, when my dad first came back eight years ago, I was the first person to believe him. I didn't even want to but I did." She pauses and points to the left side chest. "I felt it right here. I knew in my heart."
James watches her carefully as he questions, "And what is your heart telling you right now? What did it tell you last night?"
"That this stranger truly believes he's Todd Manning. That he's not lying." Starr confesses and James feels like his own life is being torn apart just by looking at her, seeing how defeated she is by this news. Fresh water brims the edges of her eyes once again, when she closes and reopens them, it spills over.
The new tears prompt James to take her chin in his hand. He wants her to understand what he's says. "Hey, that's fine." Firmly he keeps insisting, "That's fine, Starr. You're not a bad person for having doubts. With all of that, how could you not? You're not at fault here."
"Yes I am! James, I'm supposed to be loyal to my father! How can I even think that he's not my dad? How can I betray him like this? What kind of daughter am I?"
"Your heart is conflicted because you need to be sure. That's you being smart, Starr. You're the sharpest girl I know."
"I should already be sure! I thought that I was sure eight years ago!"
Though knowing he usually gets hell for it, he shushes her in an attempt to calm her down. He's lucky all he gets is a glare. "Sorry, I'm sorry. Let's just look at it this way: other than this guy having the same scar, do you any reason to doubt your dad? Any at all?"
Starr stiffens and her gaze leaves his temporarily, the wheels in her head cranking. When their eyes lock again, disappointment clouds her own. She nods numbly. "There is one. Baz."
"Baz?" James echoes. "What does he have to do with this?"
She hesitates before answering, "A few weeks ago, he told me that my dad and his dad were keeping a secret. That Tomas had something on my dad. At first I didn't think too much of it, you know? I thought that it was just my dad being himself. But then later on he started acting so strange—scared and afraid to lose us. And now with this…"
"It's turned out to be a lot bigger than you thought," James finishes. His brows pinch together and confused he wonders, "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"
"I don't know," Starr tells him. She tilts her head so that her cheek presses into his palm rather than her chin. "I don't know why I didn't. I should have but you were so busy with work and—and I'm sorry that I didn't try harder."
"So it's just been you and Baz, huh?" He doesn't mean to make his tone so harsh but lately he's had some many ill feelings toward the guy, instinct telling him that Baz's intentions were more than friendly. He reminds James so much of himself. The guy who would have done anything to have Starr last summer, didn't care about her boyfriend because he knew that he was better for her. He remembers stealing kisses, secret text messages…
"Don't be like that," Starr says, yanking him from his train of thought. She thunks his forehead with a finger and James can't help but feel admiration swell inside him at that. Because no matter how upset she is, Starr still takes the time to scold him. "He was suspicious and he only had me to confide in."
"I believe you, Twinkle." James says sincerely before pressing a swift and sweet kiss to her mouth. "It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of losing you. Like I stole you and you're going to get stolen back."
"I'm not anyone's property. I can't get stolen," she points out. Reaching out to cup his jaw and thumb along the side of it, she smiles. "But I am yours. I promise. There's nothing for you to worry about, okay? From here on out, it's you and me figuring this out. I'm going to be running to you all of the time because I love you not Baz."
"Starr," James sighs, "I'm not trying to guilt you into anything."
"I know. However, it doesn't make what I said any less true. James, I woke up this morning and I knew that I needed you to keep me grounded. You're nowhere near losing me. I missed you because it feels like I haven't seen you in forever. God, all I want is for you to tell me that it's going to be okay because right now," her voice and her smile break as she admits, "right now, I feel anything but okay. I feel like it's so far from here. But I know that I can trust you—that whatever you say is true. That's the only thing I'm sure of."
A petty thing such as jealousy fades at her words. Everything but them diminishes and nothing matters to him anymore—nothing but this girl who's been redefining love for him for over a year.
James brushes away the wet tracks on her face. He kisses her again and speaks against her lips, swears and swears and lays it permanent like a tattoo, "You're going to be okay, Starr Manning. It's going to be okay because you're going to come out on the other side of this. I'll be here. Hope will be here. And your family will be here. We're okay now and we'll be okay then. I'm with you in the mean time."
Hope you enjoyed! Comments and concrit are more than welcome! :)