TITLE: PRECIOUS THINGS
AUTHOR: darket15
RATE: T
THEME AND DAY: NORTHERN STAR
PAIRING: Kanda/Allen or Allen/Kanda - You Choose
WARNING: Boy/Boy; Not Canon; ER
GENRE: Angst, Romance
BETA READER: TheRedButlerFan
SUMMARY: YULLEN WEEK 2012 - Moyashi's been on a secret mission for the past eight months and Kanda hasn't heard a word from him – is he dead or alive? Now, Kanda's birthday is here and he has to put up with his team mates' teasing him about his big day which doesn't make him happy (but when is Kanda happy?).
DISCLAIMERS: D. Gray-man and characters belong to Katsura Hoshino's: Allen Walker (Moyashi), Kanda Yuu; the idea for one of the battle scene from Vol.5, ch.43
A/N: Yullen Week 2012 – Day 4 ~ Theme: NORTHERN STAR ~ Happy Birthday Kanda and Allen.
PRECIOUS THINGS
I pull the covers off myself and sit on the edge of the bed. Soon, I will have to get up to head out on my assignment. I have been dreading this mission since I was informed I am the only one who could do it.
"Where are you going this early? You still have time before you have to get up," Kanda's low, sexy voice says to me.
Kanda slides over a little and tugs on my arm to bring me back to my senses. I turn to look at his beautiful face and strong, hard body and I let him tug me over into his warm arms. It only takes a kiss to start the fire within us. Before long, we are off into our own passionate whirl wind.
I stand at the doorway, Kanda in his kimono, as we share our last long kiss before I head out on this secret mission not knowing when – or if – I'll see him again. I keep strong, showing none of my tears I hold inside. It feels as if he doesn't want to release me any more than I want him to let me go, but I must.
"Don't do anything stupid out there. I won't be able to cover your ass. Just come back to me in one piece, do you understand idiot?" I swore I heard a crack in his voice as he gave me one last hug and let me go.
"— Well, tell him who it is and that I want to speak with him!" Kanda yells, over the phone at Reever.
"Komui, I want to know if you have heard anything from Moyashi," he demands, with an edge to his voice.
"What do you mean you can't tell me anything? It has been four fucking months!" he exclaims, infuriated at the Chief.
"I know his whereabouts has to be kept quiet but he is my … look you aren't the one who cares about him like I do…"
"If anything happens to him you better let me know immediately, or you can consider having a shorter life!" Kanda slams down the phone receiver, snarling under his breath, "Damnit Komui."
'Since Moyashi and I have been together I have never gone this long without hearing something from him. Damn, I would feel better if I only knew he was safe and unharmed.' Disgruntled, Kanda walks out of the café to where the others are waiting for him.
"Any news, Kanda?" Marie asks, seeing frustration on Kanda's face.
"No," he replies, cold and flat.
"Ah, cheer up Kanda, Allen can take care of himself and I'm sure –"
"Shut the fuck up Daisya," Kanda growls, not wanting to talk to anyone at this moment. He just wants to be left alone.
"Now son, let's not take it out on the team," General Tiedoll says, putting his hand on Kanda's shoulders.
Kanda pushes his hand away, "Don't touch me and I'm not your son!"
"Well then, let's get going, we have been given our new assignment, the Finders are in need of our help quickly," the General says, trying to get them all to re-focus on their mission.
"Fine … let's get the hell out of here," Kanda snaps, stomping off ahead of everyone else to the train station.
'Moyashi, you better be watching your ass like I told you to. I want you back in one piece … Hell, I just want you back!'
The train ride isn't helping in cooling down Kanda's perturb attitude. 'Komui has no right to keep information from me about Moyashi. He knows damn well what my relationship is with him. The blundering idiot, what is he trying to do, he knows I wouldn't tell anyone what is going on,' Kanda thinks to himself, getting more frustrated by the moment.
Kanda rests his chin on his hand looking out the window. Tiedoll could see from where he is sitting the fire in Kanda's eyes. He could tell Kanda is gritting his teeth by the tautness in his jaw and the overall aura of anger emitting off from him. He wishes he could do something to ease his son's anxiety.
The conductor announces their stop and the train slows down as they near the station. Kanda couldn't wait to get off the train and out fighting. He needs something to help get rid of the anger boiling inside of him.
They didn't have far to go after leaving the train station to the location the Finders are waiting for their arrival. General Tiedoll finds the leader of the group to ask what the situation is at this point.
"Nice to see you General Tiedoll," one of the Finders yells, over the loud noise of the Akuma attack and shakes the General's hand.
"We have located the Innocence and we have four Talismans boxes holding it secure against the Akuma for now. I'm not sure how much longer it will hold," the Finder informs the General.
"Thank you, we will take it from here. Marie and Kanda take –," General Tiedoll stops as he sees Kanda already racing towards the action.
"Too late General, I'll follow Kanda and help him out," Marie says, heading after Kanda.
The General sighs, "Now if Kanda doesn't get himself kill before Allen returns it will be by the grace of God."
"Daisya, you and I will cover the other side. Let's get this battle over with," the General says, as he watches Kanda disappear.
There are a slew of these insolent monsters which the Exorcists battle for hours against. This is exactly the outlet Kanda needs to take his frustrations and anger out on – not his team mates.
Kanda is attacking one of the loathsome entities when another one sneaks up behind him totally unaware of it. Marie's string's grabs the beast and slices it into pieces. Hearing the explosion behind him, Kanda turns quickly and nods to Marie.
These two work well as a team, just as Allen and Kanda are synonymous as a team despite their known adversary relationship.
Their antagonistic connection is what had drawn them closer together in the first place. It seems the very resistance they share only adds zeal towards each other. It is because of this combative relationship they share no one had ever suspected them as lovers.
It hadn't been until their emotions vortexes into something deeper than either thought possible have they been enlightened to how precious they meant to each other.
General Tiedoll and Daisya were fighting the last two odious Akuma left on their side and Kanda and Marie finishes the last of theirs off. With the battle won and the Innocence is safely in the hands of the Finders, everyone starts back to the local Inn to eat and spend the night.
After eating, Kanda walks past some Finders sitting around a table finishing their dinners when he overhears their conversation.
"Yeah, I guess Shuman is a 'fallen' Exorcists'. I heard Allen Walker tried his best to save him, but Shuman died and no one has heard from Walker since. It's as if he just disappeared. The Order presumes he's dead."
Kanda stops in his tracks, shocked at what he had just overheard. He approaches the Finder who was doing the talking. "Tell me what you know about Allen Walker," Kanda gruffly demands.
"Oh, hi Kanda, I guess Shuman was one of the Exorcists on his team. They got into some kind a trouble with a higher level Akuma and a Noah. No one knows for sure what happened except Shuman sold out. Walker tried saving him from his downfall during which he just disappeared. Now the Order believes he is dead. That's all I know Kanda."
"When did you hear about this?" Kanda asks, anxiously.
"About … a week ago, I heard it from another Finder. Are you alright Kanda, you don't look so well."
Kanda is dizzy and sick to his stomach. He rushes out the door needing fresh air. Once he is outside, he starts to pace not wanting to believe what he had just heard.
'Bean Sprout, dead?' The words whirl in his head making his stomach churn inside. He has no idea what to do. 'Why didn't Komui contact me? What's going on? Anxious, Kanda sees some stairs leading to the roof of the Inn and he runs up them to the top of the Inn.
He looks out over the city, his stomach still swirling feeling sour inside. His legs are weak and shaky to the point he can hardly stand. 'Had Moyashi been killed trying to save Shuman? Damn him, he is always trying to save everyone!'
Not being able to stand much longer he walks over to a wall. Leaning his back against it he slides down to sit drawing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them leaning his forehead on top.
'I think I'm going to be sick. Wait … if Moyashi had died, wouldn't I have felt emptiness from his passing? I can't believe he's dead, I'm sure I would have felt something so final from him.'
Kanda lay down on the floor of the roof in the fetal position wanting desperately to have his lover's warm body to cling to. 'He will come home. I have to believe he will come home.' Kanda continues to repeat until he passes out.
"General he's up here," Daisya hollers down.
"Marie, please bring him down," cries out the General. Marie gently lifts Kanda into his arms and carries him inside the Inn, taking him upstairs to their room.
'This reminds me when I carried him as a lost child. You were, also, dealing with trauma in your life then,' Marie recalls sadly. 'You don't deserve this happening to you, Kanda, not losing Allen after you finally found someone you love and who loves you,' Marie's thinking, carrying Kanda upstairs.
"Be careful with him Marie, he isn't hurt is he?" asks the General, deeply concerned for Kanda's well being.
"He doesn't appear to be hurt, sir," Marie replies.
"Let's get him into bed. Maybe after a good night's sleep he will be able to deal with the news better," the General says, looking down at Kanda, sadness filling his heart.
The General, Daisya and Marie leave the room, so Kanda could rest quietly alone now that they know he is safe and didn't try to harm himself.
Kanda had partial awoke through all this but had been too drained to fight. He had allowed them to put him to bed and was thankful when they all left the room.
Once he knew they would not come back for a while he gets up and goes to his traveling case. Opening it he withdraws a pillowcase — Moyashi's pillowcase. Getting back into bed he turns on his side and places it partial under his head so he could inhale Allen's scent. This calms him some but tears burn in his eyes as he hugs the case closer to him, his heart aching.
"I know you will find your way back home to me Moyashi. I will always wait for you. As long as it takes, I will be waiting for you to return to me," Kanda whispers, into the darkness.
It is still early, before dawn, Kanda slides out of bed and walks over to the window. Staring out he thinks of his beloved, hoping he is alive and unharmed, refusing to believe what everyone else believes – that he is dead.
Kanda has always known, with their line of work, there is the possibility one of them may not come home to the other, but he never thought about the emotional impact it would have on him.
Well, he knows now. He knows how much he has fallen in love with the white-hair brat, so much so, he knows not having him in his life … well … is like having no life.
He turns away from the window and looks at his teammates still fast asleep. Quickly he dresses and walks down to the dining area and orders a tea. Looking at the empty seat across from him he can picture Allen shoveling food into his mouth. How disgusting he looks when he does that but right now he would give anything to have him sitting in that seat filling his face.
His thoughts are interrupted when his fellow Exorcists enter the dining room. "Hey Kanda, how long have you been up? Tiedoll was about to have a heart attack when he saw you were gone," Daisya whispers, informing him in his usual cheerful mood and then winks. Tiedoll and Marie join them at the table and order breakfast.
"Kanda, I was worried where you went. Are you alright?" Tiedoll asks, with concern in his eyes.
"Yes, I'm fucking fine and I don't want to talk about it either," Kanda says, seriously, looking down into his tea cup swirling the contents.
"Okay," each one of them agreed quietly, knowing Kanda is sincere in what he has asked of them.
To change the subject, Tiedoll explains their next assignment.
"Well, I got a call from headquarters last night. It seems some of the Akuma we fought yesterday has moved to the next town just miles away from here. Headquarters has asked us to go over there this morning and annihilate the creatures. So when you boys are ready to go …" Kanda interrupts Tiedoll.
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get the hell out on here," Kanda says, anxious to be doing something to take his mind off Allen.
When they arrive at the next town there is a cluster of the despicable monstrosities hovering over the municipal building. The clock, showing on the front of the building, chimes every hour. It wouldn't be usual if it had a mechanism to cause this to happen but the clock does this all on its own.
There is Innocence inside the clock that is creating this phenomenon to be happening. Hence, the assemblage of heinous Akuma gathering over the building – ready to attack.
The team of Exorcists is ready to attack. Tiedoll goes over the plan, "I want all of you to have your golems on and reporting to each other. Stay in contact, is that understood? Good. I'm going to scout out the rest of the area and we will meet at the front of the building by the fountain. That's it."
The soul-suckers attack with explosions going off all around them as the three fight their way towards the building. Kanda takes off to the North side while Daisya and Marie cover the other two other sides. Tiedoll is walking down the road in another direction away from the building.
'Where the fuck is Tiedoll going?' Kanda thinks, but only for a moment before he is fighting another Akuma.
It takes the three of them fighting non-stop for a couple of hours as they are getting close to finishing them off.
"Kanda … two are coming around to your North side of the building, Daisya take care of the three at our back and I'm going for the two moving in towards the front of the building," reports Marie over his golem.
You could hear the firing of the demons machines — then Daisya, "Charity Bell … Fire!"…"Bong"… the sonic waves explode the deranged beast with a loud Boom. "Three down … I'm running into the building to get the Innocence. I'll meet you guys in the front," Daisya shouts over the golem.
"Mugen unsheathe! Evil has risen!" Kanda yells, as you hear the slicing from Mugen and the Akuma being destroyed over the golem. "My two are neatly sliced up over here I'll be coming around the front soon."
Marie is leaning against the large water fountain as the two walk around the corner. He sees Daisya tossing the Innocence in the air, dancing around Kanda goading him. Kanda verbally is lashing out at him.
"Shut up Daisya! Can't you give it a rest?" Kanda angrily, shout at him.
"Is Daisya giving you a hard time about your birthday Kanda?" Marie asks, looking at an irate Kanda.
"Shut up Marie. I wish you both would stop harassing me about it. It's none of your business."
Causally strolling up the road is General Tiedoll carrying his sketch pad. Kanda couldn't resist a snide remark to him. "How nice of you to join us General now we have finished taking care of the Akuma."
"Come now Kanda, I knew the three of you wouldn't need my help. There was such a lovely view over there I wanted to sketch before we left," the General causally remarks. "Plus, I had to place a call into the Order to report in as to where we are."
"Whatever!" Kanda snaps.
"Well, our orders are to continue to the next town where we will be staying at the Inn. Kanda, I'm paying for you to have your own room and I'm giving you the day to yourself as a birthday present," the General says, smiling at the samurai, who is like a son to him.
"What-fucking-ever," Kanda says, as he keeps on walking, ignoring their chitchat.
"Kanda, do you want anything special for your birthday?" Marie asks, catching up to him.
"Just shut the fuck up about it, will you?" Kanda snarls, angrily.
"Oooh, touchy are we?" Daisya snickers, as he giddily dances around Kanda.
"I've had it with you Daisya, shut up or I'll slice you up!" Kanda yells, pointing Mugen at him, then steps back, re-sheathes, turns and stomps off away from the group. 'Everyone wants to know what I want for my birthday! What I want … what I need … is Moyashi! I want to know he is safe, to touch him, to hold him, for him to hold me … oh, how I miss that stupid idiot!
Damn, it has been a total of eight months since seeing him. He's the one I want for my birthday — I want to be with him — my world is starting to surround me in painful darkness without him by my side. He has been my light, my peace and my strength, though I would never admit that to him.
Shit … I know Komui has to keep it a secret for Moyashi's safety but I'm not sure if he is safe or even alive. Even after finding out four months ago about his disappearance and the Black Order had presumed he had been killed. Komui won't tell me anything except he doesn't believe he is dead either.
Hell, I need to know because without him … well … my life is void and dark. I realize I have fallen in love with him. I probably had longer ago then I want to admit, but together we had learned precious things do exist — each other. I will always wait for him never giving up hope he will return to me.'
Marie quietly walks beside Kanda. The General and Daisya lag far behind chatting away. Marie interrupts his thoughts, "You've been worrying about him again haven't you Kanda?"
"Shut up, Marie!" growls Kanda, the pain in his chest and the pit in his stomach is stealing his steadiness. Though, Marie, also, doesn't believe he is dead which has been a huge comfort to Kanda.
"I know you are worried. More so since finding out Allen went missing four months ago."
"Damnit Marie! I don't want to talk about this." Kanda snaps. Kanda has known Marie for the past nine years and he has never been able to fool the big guy.
"Kanda … its okay to love him, everyone already knows about the two of you."
"Everyone knows?" Kanda asks, mystified.
"Damn —a person can't keep anything private at headquarters and who the hell said I love him!"
"Kanda don't forget I can tell by your heartbeat, you're lying if you say you don't love him. It's not hard for me to hear. Even when you two are fighting or bickering with each other I can hear it from the both of you."
"Marie, leave my fucking heartbeat out of this and which part did you not understand about 'I don't want to talk about it'?"
"Come on Kanda at least tell me what you would like Allen to give you if he was here."
"Damnit Marie, enough of this!" Kanda snarls, tiring of this conversation.
"Come on, tell me. I'm your friend — share."
Kanda looks at Marie for awhile and then stares straight ahead and says soberly, "Him … all I want is him … I just need to know he is safe."
The General and Daisya catch up with Kanda and Marie as they near the town. Daisya starts teasing Kanda about his birthday.
He explodes once again, "Will you just drop it, Daisya? Damn, you're a nuisance!"
They reach the Inn by early evening. Dinner is quiet, at least until the end, when General Tiedoll stands up and dangles the key to Kanda's room.
"Kanda you are like a son to me —here's wishing you a Happy Birthday and many more," the General says, ceremoniously. Cheers of Happy Birthdays come from Marie and Daisya as Kanda quickly stands up and snatches the key out of the General's hand.
"I'm not your fucking son," Kanda's voice is flat and hard.
"I don't know why you keep insisting I have my own room, but fine, it'll be nice not to have to listen to all of you the rest of the night," Kanda says, sarcastically. "And don't come knocking on my door in the morning waking me up!" he snarls, though gritted teeth.
"Pleasant dreams, Kanda — Happy Birthday again!" they all sing in unison with big grins on their faces. Kanda turns and huffs out of the dining room heading up to his room. 'I'm alone on my birthday. This will be the first birthday since we have been together,' Kanda's thinking, sadly.
As he approaches his door, there is a light shining from under it. 'There better not be any surprises in there from those idiots downstairs,' Kanda fumes.
He enters his room and locks the door behind him. When he turns around there is a silhouette of a figure standing by the window, the figure turns around … standing there is Allen! Relief rushes through Kanda.
"Happy Birthday Kanda," Allen purrs, as they both race quickly to each other.
Allen jumps into Kanda's arms, wrapping his legs around him, holding him tightly, not wanting to let go. Kanda holds onto him just as tightly refusing to let him out of his arms. Allen slowly slides his feet to the floor still holding on for dear life.
"You're safe … you're not hurt are you?" Kanda asks, breathlessly nuzzling Allen's white hair, hugging him even closer, just wanting to feel his body close to his.
"I'm fine Kanda," Allen chokes, who's near tears.
"Kanda, I'm sorry I didn't have time to get you anything for your birthday," Allen says, blushing.
"You idiot, you came back to me. That's all I wanted." Unusual happiness shows on Kanda's face which brightens Allen's even more.
After eight torturous months of being separated and not knowing if Allen had been dead or alive, Kanda's blue eyes gaze into Allen's silver ones, afraid if he blinks he might disappear. Kanda has a lump in his throat. Neither one of them is very good with words. They have always converse through their eyes which leads to their hearts.
His heart pounding wildly, Kanda crushes a deep aggressive kiss on Allen's lips. Allen's tongue desperately prompts Kanda's open to slide into his warm inviting mouth at the same time pulling out shirt tails. Their hands slide up under their shirts caressing and enticing each other's bodies.
Then their shirts fall to the floor, hot chests rub against one another as their bodies hardened from their skin touching. For a moment they pull apart, their eyes smoldering with desire for each other intensifying the heat between them.
Slowly, teasingly, they finish undressing each other, adding more fuel to the fire within them. Embracing, they fall onto the bed together moans and gurgles come from their throats with every touch, caress, and kiss as they show their love the only way they know how — with their bodies.