So I read a lot of stories on this site about girls getting thrown back in time who meet Ezio and fall in love and blah blah blah. (run-on sentence)

Well this is just a lovely story about what I would do if I were sent back to the late 15th century Italy.

Purely lameness in this whole story.

Disclaimer: If I owned Assassin's Creed do you really think I'd be driving around a '96 Camry?

"I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been. To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen."

{Start}

1. Create an awesome catchphrase.

Like "What's up?" or "Taste like chicken." Then I would spread the word that I was the one who made up this awesome sentence and the world should remember my name. Then when I come back to the 21st century everytime someone heard my name they'd say "Wow you have the same name as the person who coined this cool phrase." Also I'd be a billionaire.

2. Rename people.

I'd rename Niccolo Machiavelli to Piccolo Machiavenni just because I can. Rodrigo Borgia to Rodney Boring cause I like the ring to it. Vieri de' Pazzi to Velvet Pizza because it feels so good to be king. (I have no idea what that last sentence means.) I would leave Giovanni's name alone tho, because it's too awesome to mess with.

3. Severly alter history.

I'd paint the Mona Lisa before Leonardo da Vinci could. Once again I'd be a billionaire.

4. Invent something...awesome!

Like post-it notes (actually I'd just bring a pack of post-it notes with me and claim I invented them. Who would know any different?) I'd tell the world that I was the greatest inventor ever! Or maybe I'd just invent toilets...yeah that'd be awesome!

5. Do something stupid.

Climb to the top of a tall (but, not too tall) building and scream "ON TOP OF THE WORLD MA!" Hopefully I wouldn't get noticed by guards who would proceed to chase and kill me, thinking I was a witch. That would be...not awesome.

6. Pretend to be a "mobster".

It sounds a lot like lobster but, it's not the same. I'd go around hiring people to make hits on people who looked at me wrong. I'd try to make Ezio my personal hitman. I'd say "Oh" and "A" a lot. Also I'd wear all black and smoke big cigars and make people kiss my ring. Awesome.

7. Pope?

I would claim to be the Pope. That is all.

8. Explain what "Awesome" means.

I would kindly explain to the good people of Italy and it's surrounding countries (whichever I came in contact with) what the futuristic word "awesome" means. I'd tell them it means "amazing" or "supreme" so they should refer to me as "Your Awesomeness" from here until the end of eternity. Also they should paint pictures of me slaying dragons and climbing high mountains because I'm also a hero.

Thank you that is all.

{End}

So tell me what did you think? Was it funny? Lame? Awesome?

Reviews please.