Hi guys, here's the first of hopefully a series of oneshots following from my You've Got Email fic. Hope you like it. Texting between my favourite couple.
Emily Prentiss: Hey, watcha doing?
Aaron Hotchner: I'm trying to finish the Wagner report. What's up?
Emily Prentiss: I'm horny.
Aaron Hotchner: What? Again?
Emily Prentiss: Honey, I need you.
Aaron Hotchner: Emily, this isn't the appropriate time or place.
Emily Prentiss: But I'm REALLY, REALLY horny.
Aaron Hotchner: It's 11 in the morning and we're at work. Speaking of which, are you working on your report of the shooting?
Emily Prentiss: I'm trying to, I swear, but the only weapon I can think about is yours. Do me this favour please? I promise I can get you locked, loaded and discharged in ten minutes flat.
Aaron Hotchner: Funny. Look, I don't doubt your skills, sweetheart, but one, I'm exhausted from getting virtually no sleep last night because you were insatiable, two, I'm not a teenager any more, three, we have reports to finish, and four, see my previous text.
Emily Prentiss: Aaron, don't be such a stick in the mud. How often do you get propositioned at work by a beautiful, sexy woman who loves you? C'mon, live a little.
Aaron Hotchner: I did. All night. And now a certain part of me needs some recuperating time.
Emily Prentiss: Aww ... the poor little guy. Want me to come up and kiss it better? *wicked smile*
Aaron Hotchner: I'm going to have to decline. Wasn't that how it started last night?
Emily Prentiss: No, it started when I saw you wearing your black framed reading glasses. You know how they turn me on.
Aaron Hotchner: I thought it was my sunglasses that turned you on.
Emily Prentiss: Them too. Ooooh ... don't suppose you could slip them on for me right now, could you? Just for a minute.
Aaron Hotchner: Putting aside the fact that I'd get a lot of strange looks, I don't think I need to fan your flames, so to speak. Everything's turning you on at the moment. You'd probably get turned on shaving my neck hair.
Emily Prentiss: I was going to say no, but you're right. I would be turned on. Mainly by the fact that you're usually buck naked when I'm doing that.
Aaron Hotchner: It's not because I'm trying to turn you on!
Emily Prentiss: You're such a tease.
Aaron Hotchner: I have no idea how this conversation has gone from you being horny to neck hair shaving to me being a tease.
Emily Prentiss: I'm sorry, honey, you're not a tease, you're just so hot and sexy. Especially when you look all grim and frowny and serious. Like this morning at the meeting. All I wanted to do was throw you down onto the conference table and have my wicked way with you. Now that would have been a story worth telling at the next sexual harassment seminar.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm pretty sure husbands can't sue their wives for sexual harassment. Lucky for you.
Emily Prentiss: Is that your non-subtle way of saying I've been sexually harassing you? *frown*
Aaron Hotchner: Yes. But I love your form of sexual harassment. When we're not at work.
Emily Prentiss: Liar.
Aaron Hotchner: I am not a liar.
Emily Prentiss: Scaredy cat.
Aaron Hotchner: Crazy broad.
Emily Prentiss: Lawyer.
Aaron Hotchner: Ouch, low blow!
Emily Prentiss: Speaking of blow …
Aaron Hotchner: Don't even go there.
Emily Prentiss: Oh please honey, I really, really, need you. I've been fantasising all morning about us doing it in your office. I'm so hot for you right now.
Aaron Hotchner: Emily, you know we made the decision to remain completely professional at work and to never engage in any inappropriate conduct.
Emily Prentiss: Whose silly idea was that? That completely sounded like something the lawyer in this relationship would say. In any case, it's too late, cos I'm pretty sure inappropriate conduct includes sexting. Even if it's with your wife.
Aaron Hotchner: That one time was not my fault. You started it. Although I admit I should have had more self control, despite the fact we'd been apart for a week. But there will definitely not be any inappropriate physical contact during work hours.
Emily Prentiss: Between you and I.
Aaron Hotchner: Correct.
Emily Prentiss: So, it'll be ok then if I had inappropriate physical contact with say, Morgan?
Aaron Hotchner: If that was your attempt at a joke, Emily, it wasn't funny.
Emily Prentiss: I never joke about orgasms. Or my need for them.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm sorry sweetheart. But you're going to have to wait till we get home.
Emily Prentiss: How is it fair that I have to suffer when it's technically all your fault?
Aaron Hotchner: What? How is this my fault?
Emily Prentiss: Your sperm, your baby. It's all because of you that I've become a total nymphomaniac. I was a completely normal person before the pregnancy.
Aaron Hotchner: Okay, okay, I surrender. I take full responsibility for your sex obsessed state. Now can we get back to work? Only 6 hours to go then we can go home and I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure you're satisfied.
Emily Prentiss: There's no way I'm lasting 6 freaking hours, Aaron. So this your last word then? You're not going to make love to me?
Aaron Hotchner: I'm not going to make love to you in our work place where we're surrounded by our colleagues and management. So that's a no.
Emily Prentiss: I kinda like the whole edge-of-danger, possible-discovery thing. I think my panties just dampened at the thought.
Aaron Hotchner: No comment.
Emily Prentiss: Fine, be like that. Hey, do you think Reid's still a virgin?
Aaron Hotchner: Don't know, don't want to know, pretty sure don't care.
Emily Prentiss: Maybe he might like his first time to be with a wild, smokin' hot pregnant lady.
Aaron Hotchner: Why don't you ask him? Then you can both engage in wild, smoking hot sex in the basement. My Chevy Tahoe's unlocked.
Emily Prentiss: Damn, I can't get any rise out of you today, huh?
Aaron Hotchner: I think it's actually impossible, physically speaking.
Emily Prentiss: Spoilsport.
Aaron Hotchner: Nymphomaniac.
Emily Prentiss: Prude.
Aaron Hotchner: Incredibly gorgeous woman who's stolen my heart.
Emily Prentiss: Hey, you're not playing fair. Although I love you for saying that *reluctant smile*
Aaron Hotchner: Haven't you heard that all's fair in love and war? *smiling back*
Emily Prentiss: In that case, I should tell that I didn't wear panties to work today.
Silence.
Emily Prentiss: So all you have to do is flip my skirt up and take me. On your desk, against your desk, on your chair, whatever position you like. I'm easy.
More silence.
Emily smiled. She had him. For a profiler, Hotch was pretty slow in learning that resistance to her was always futile. She delivered her coup d'etat.
Emily Prentiss: Or I can just take my vibrator and go to the ladies room.
"Emily."
Emily looked up from her cell to see her husband of four months standing on the catwalk.
"Can you come into my office? I need to discuss the report with you." His dark eyes were filled with a heat that had no relation to anger.
"Sure. I'm coming." She thought she saw a muscle twitch in his jaw at her deliberate use of words.
Fifteen minutes and three orgasms later, Emily grinned down at a flushed, sweaty, and almost fully dressed Hotch, on whose lap she was sitting. "Guess you didn't need that much time to recuperate, after all."
He shook his head, still trying to catch his breath. "You're going to be the death of me, Emily Hotchner. I really don't know where you get your energy from."
"Food, honey. Pregnant women cannot live on love alone." She paused, looking thoughtful. "Speaking of which, I'm starving. Do you think you can get me a cheeseburger? Pretty please, with pickle, mustard and a sesame seed bun on top? Oh, plus fries, apple pie and a strawberry shake."
His reply was a groan of resignation. He looked at her. "So tell me again, when's the baby due?"
Let me know what you thought!
