This is part of a series I'll be posting for any canon characters that send them to me of drabbles from my roleplay blog. They're from this meme:
"Send me 'I miss you' to know what my muse will say after 1 year, 5 years, then to 10 years after your muse's death."
Explanations for references at the bottom, contains spoilers up through Cold Days if you're still behind on that.
1 year
Thomas hadn't been to Harry's grave at Graceland since his death. He knew Harry wasn't buried there, whatever anyone else wanted to try and tell him. He'd gone to the funeral, hadn't said anything, but everyone knew they were brothers now. No point in hiding it any longer, if it couldn't be used against them.
The looks of pity he got from others grated on his nerves and made his skin prickle uncomfortably and finally he'd ducked out when no one was looking, without so much as a word goodbye. He'd walked and walked and walked, sleepless and unstopping, until he was outside the city. And then he'd screamed.
He'd yelled at Harry, for dying and fucking leaving him there and he'd yelled at every single person who facilitated it, he'd screamed until his voice gave out and then he'd called for Mab, demanded to know where she'd put him, what she'd done with his body. Yelled at her when she appeared with no regard for the pain she must be feeling until she finally, finally took him to where Harry's body actually was.
Maybe she'd felt sorry for him, maybe she'd understood, regardless… she'd granted him open visitation rights.
It had been a year now and the pain had yet to dull. He leaned back against the pedestal upon which Harry's body was suspended. He couldn't look at it, too painful to bear now. "It's not fair you fucking asshole!"
He slammed his fist into the side of the platform hard enough to bloody his knuckles. It didn't seem to have any affect on the actual platform, as it shouldn't. "I was supposed to get at least another couple hundred years with you, you know that? It's not fucking fair Harry! You can't just leave us all behind like this!"
He could almost imagine that Harry could come around the corner any second, hell's bells Thomas, what are you doing here, stop shouting would you?
Finally he quieted, except for the occasional sob. His head fell back against the icy, unforgiving stone of platform. "Just come back already. Please, Harry. I can't do this without you."
Harry, in his head again, with that stupid fucking strange look on his face, almost like he pitied Thomas. You know I'm not coming back this time, right?
5 years
The Mantle weighed heavy on his slumped shoulders as he stared at Harry's body, entombed in ice, perfectly preserved still. "I guess if you were coming back you would've come back by now, huh?"
He knew Harry wouldn't have approved of him taking it up, but someone had to and he was, after all, Margaret LeFay's son. Just… not the right one. Not the good one. Maybe all the better for the position in that way.
"Been hanging around here a lot lately. It's hard, filling your shoes. Just like the rest of you, they're a lot bigger than I can fit in." He trailed his fingers along the ice. "Didn't do very good that first couple years, you know. But… You left Maggie behind and she needed someone. She's got the Carpenters but she doesn't- Well, I'm her uncle. And now I'm the closest thing to you she's got. The closest thing to her dad she'll ever have.
"You should see her now. She's gonna have to find a mentor eventually, an actual one, but for now between Molly and I, we're doing alright. I don't really know shit about magic but I've been studying it to try and help out, and… The Mantle has some power I can use. I try not to, though. The more you do it the more powerful it gets." When he'd accepted the Mantle no one had known if he was going to survive it, but at the time he'd had no reason to. He'd accepted the offer without a second thought. Anything to get closer to Harry, anything to take care of those he loved. The fight between it and his Hunger had nearly ripped him to psychic shreds, but in the end the Mantle had won and he'd managed to orchestrate a peace. He'd survived, albeit barely, with his mind mostly intact.
"She misses you. She didn't know you that well and all, but she does miss you. We all do, Harry. Whenever she comes over she asks for stories about you." He sunk down to his usual spot on the floor, unable to bear looking at Harry's face any longer. "Fuck, even Mab misses you. She won't admit it but you can tell. I think she really cared about you, it's easy to see that now, in my position.
"I asked Justine to marry me a couple weeks ago. She said yeah, duh, asked what took me so long. I know how much you'd have wanted to see that. You did keep telling me I should propose to her, you know, I'm sorry you weren't around to see it. I wanted you to be the best man at my wedding but I ended up asking Michael instead. He said he'd be delighted, obviously. I spend a lot of time with them, lately. They're kinda the closest thing to family I've got, especially with Maggie there. Mouse is gonna be the ring bearer, it's an important job, he gets a tux and everything." He didn't even try to blink the tears back, then. "I wish you could be there."
10 years
"Sorry I haven't been by in a couple years. We won the war. Lost a lot of people, but we won the war." There was exhaustion written in every line of his face, permanent now, making him look much older than the perpetual youth he had. With a gesture of his hand and a quiet word a chair rose from the ice of the ground, made also of ice, for him to sink into.
"I lost Justine recently. It wasn't bad, she went peacefully in her sleep. I know she was happy. We knew it was coming, but it's still hard. I don't know what to do without her, you know? You and her, you were the only people in my life that mattered for so long and you're both gone now." He let out a quiet sound of anguish at that. "She's here too, two spaces down from you, there's an empty one between you. That's mine, for when I get to join you. I thought it would be sooner, I didn't plan to stick around after you two…
"But Maggie's still here, you know, she needs me. We've gotten pretty close, and Molly. I promised them I'd stick around a while longer. It's not easy, I miss you every single day. I miss Justine even more. It hasn't even been a year since- Well, I thought it would fade, after a while, but it's been ten years since I lost you and I still keep expecting you to show up. You never will though.
"Mouse is gone. We lost him to old age, it was bound to happen but it still wasn't easy. He did leave behind some puppies, though, with the nice English Mastiff that moved in next door. We named one of them Mouse Junior, but we just call him Junior and he's mine. We lost Michael in the war, Matthew too, and Sanya. Charity took it hard, but she's getting by. I help out, some, you know. Both of us have lost a lot of people and she's only human, she can't do everything. It's… a good support system. We uh, lost Murphy too, but she was never the same after- Well. After you. None of us were, but I think she didn't mind so much what happened to her, not when it meant she didn't have to live without you." He scraped some ice off the arm of the chair idly. "Maggie's apprenticed to Eb now, she keeps complaining about not being able to use the Internet anymore but she loves learning magic. I think it makes her feel closer to you."
A laugh, then, through the tears. "Somehow, Butters managed to make it through. Maybe I should take back what I said about him. Amoracchius finally chose a new wielder, Daniel. Guess it runs in the family. Mab says I make a decent Winter Knight, she still misses you but I think she can look at me now without just seeing you. Molly and I… we make a good team. You should see it."
His head whipped around, then, listening intently. He glanced back at Harry's body and stood. "I miss you, you know. So fucking much. Every goddamn day, still."
He dismissed the chair with another word and gesture and it sunk back into the ice until there was no trace of it left. "But I'll be back. Maybe, someday, for good."