A/N: I've decided to look at my stories and try to fix some mistakes that I've noticed and maybe change a few things here and there but nothing major.
This Is The Story Of How…..
So I don't own any rights at all to either the Avengers or How I Met Your Mother.
I have recently started re-watching How I Met Your Mother and when this popped into my head I just couldn't resist. This is my first crossover so we'll see how this goes….
As the warmth from the sun flooded in from the window beside her bed Maria Hill began to wake up to the busy sounds of the city. A smile spread slowly across her face as she took in her surroundings. It had been way too long since she had woken up to the sight of her comfy New York apartment. She missed the sounds of paws running around but the life she lived didn't allow her to be able to care for pets. Still, it was nice to finally have a break and be able to relax for a while. She just hoped that Stark wouldn't find out her secret anytime soon and come mess with her.
With a yawn Maria sat up and stretched out her muscles before getting up to get dressed for the day. She opened up her closet and stood staring at the outfits before her. They were much different than the SHEILD issued uniforms she had grown accustomed to but she was glad for the change that they would bring. She picked out a navy blue top that had slits in the sleeves so that it showed her shoulders and a pair of blue jeans. She had missed wearing a simple pair of blue jeans. She was quick to get dressed and was just about to put something together for breakfast when she heard a knocking at her door. Instinct made her body tense and her mind on alert but she quickly shook that away when she looked through the peephole to see some very familiar faces. A huge smile broke out over her face and she practically threw the door open.
"Scherbatsky!" The collective shouts filled the air as her friends all rushed her at once.
"What do you think you are doing by not calling us when you got in last night?!" Lilly almost squealed as she hugged her best friend tightly.
"It was late and I was kind of tired from the plane but I missed you guys!" Maria replied. Their excitement was contagious and she eagerly hugged them all and was almost squealing herself. Oh if the agents at SHEILD could see her now.
"Robin," Barney spoke up "You're gonna love this. I've got the whole night planned. It's gonna be Legen- wait for it but I know you know the rest….."
"dary" everyone said and for some reason started clapping but that wasn't important because they were all just so happy to be reunited again. Maria forgot all about breakfast as she was pulled away by her friends for a day of reconnecting.
By the time the group made their way to their favorite bar it felt as if she had never left. Maria was thoroughly enjoying being able to relax and have fun with her friends rather than dealing with secret missions and world disasters. They all chatted happily as they took their seats at their booth and made themselves comfortable in their usual spots. Marshal beside Lilly, Ted beside her, and Barney was sitting at the end. Everything was turning out perfectly and she was happy that she would be able to stay in this world for another week.
"So Robin," Lilly asked when they finished ordering their food "are you enjoying that fancy new journalist job in Japan?"
"Yes," she said putting another smile on her face though this time it was more forced. It's not that she didn't enjoy her job it's just that she hated lying to her friends. "It's amazing, it's exactly what I've been looking for," that at least wasn't a lie.
"Well we're glad that you've finally found your dream job," Ted chimed in "just wished it was closer." He said a bit more quietly and she didn't miss the slight longing in his eyes.
"Yeah," she said after a moment "me too I really do miss you guys when I'm gone."
"Well, maybe you could visit more often," Lilly added in.
"I wish I could. I'm just always so busy."
"That's a shame" Barney said then after taking a sip of his drink "so meet any new friends, specifically female that falls into the ten category though a strong nine will work too."
"Barney!" Lilly shot him a look and he shrugged.
"It's a fair question." He responded then looked back to Maria "that is missing an answer."
"Ha, none that you'd want to mess with," she said "trust me." A complete understatement she thought as she took a sip of her own drink only to choke on it a second later when she spotted the next person to walk in.
She was dressed in a dark green tank top with a pair of dark jeans. Her long and bright red hair hung loosely around her shoulders and Maria noted that it was longer than it was the last time they saw each other and had a slight curl to it. Natasha Romanoff walked into the bar as if she owned it and immediately had eyes all over her. Maria would be lying if she said that she didn't envy that at least a little bit.
The others caught on to the fact that she was distracted and turned to look at what had caught her attention. She could see Barney's eyes light up and knew that there was no good that would come from that. However, she had bigger things to worry about at the moment. Like how one of the deadliest assassins in the world had found her way here. Romanoff wasn't one to just walk into random bars unless a certain archer or playboy philanthropist was behind it. The thought of Stark being the one who led her there sent a shiver of annoyance through her.
"I want one," she heard Barney say as he stared at the agent and Maria rolled her eyes and reached over to smack him in the back of the head.
"No," she replied.
"Why…" he gasped when the woman waved and Maria waved back and he pointed an accusing finger at her "you know her! You lied to me!" Maria rolled her eyes and looked up to where Natasha was now standing at the table.
"Hey I was told that I would find you here," Romanoff said with a smile that Maria knew was one of her undercover smiles. She got the message immediately. Someone knows you're here.
"Oh really, who spilled?"
"An old friend of yours who can't take no for an answer, what was his name?" Don't know but not a friendly.
"Could be anyone," she said then turned her attention to her friends "hey guys this is…."
"Natalie, Natalie Rushman," Natasha provided and offered her hand out to the others.
"Yeah we work together sometimes."
"Hey," Lilly said as she shook hands "it's nice to meet you."
"Yeah, why don't you join us," Marshall chimed in and Romanoff flashed him a smile before politely thanking him. Barney jumped up, went over to the opposite end of the table, and pulled another chair up for her.
"Here you go," he smiled and then randomly grabbed his chest "Oh…ow…" everyone at the table collectively rolled their eyes.
"Is something…"
"Oh don't worry it's just my heart I think…."
"I'm not going to sleep with you." Romanoff said bluntly and Barney straightened up.
"What if I told you…."
"No." She said firmly and the rest of them laughed as Barney made his way back to his end of the table.
"Your loss," he said as he took another drink.
"I'm sure," Natasha replied and Maria spoke up then so that they could get down to business.
"So Natalie how was the trip down?"
"Oh it was fine. I did have this annoying guy in the seat behind me on the plane but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle." I was followed but took him out with no problem.
"Well that's good," Maria replied.
"Hey do you want a drink?" Ted asked and Natasha politely declined.
"Did you happen to bring anyone with you? A certain someone from the office?" Maria asked in a teasing tone to cover up the secret conversation going on. Is Barton with you? Natasha laughed and nudged Maria a bit.
"No, he couldn't make it."
"So a journalist that must be fun," Lilly interjected "Robin is in love with it."
"Yes," Natasha said with a nod "it's very rewarding."
"Natalie, how long are you going to be staying," Maria asked. How long will this take to deal with?
"I don't know it depends," Natalie said "there's a lot to do in New York, a lot of people to meet." I haven't made contact with the real threat yet.
"You need help finding your way around?" Am I going to be involved in this?
"Yeah that would be great but what about your friends" Yes and by the way they're targets too.
"We can show you around together!" Lilly announced "it'll be fun!" The others agreed and Maria tried to think of something to say to dissuade them when she noticed that Romanoff had stiffened.
"I think the game's over."
"Already," Maria sighed then glanced at the door. Yep it was over and now her whole day was officially ruined. "Ugh, I thought the point of a vacation was to get away from work." Her friends looked at her with confused expressions but she ignored them for the moment. Romanoff shrugged and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed.
"They don't seem to get the idea. They're for you by the way."
"Wait, who's for Robin? What are we missing here?" Ted asked but went unanswered as Maria looked at Romanoff with a bit of shock.
"That hasn't happened in a while, what for?"
"Not sure but they know who you are and somehow tracked you here."
"Hmm, interesting," Hill replied and took another glance at the men who had walked in and was looking around. There were three of them all wearing black and looking like someone owed them all money. All three were well built and tall. One had an ugly scar that ran down the left side of his face. The other had a huge mole at the top left corner of his forehead. The third guy didn't have anything that really jumped out about him except maybe the fact that he was blonde while the other two were brunette.
"What the hell is going on here? Robin what are you two talking about?!" Marshall asked and Maria glanced from Natasha to him then back. The woman just shrugged already seeing in her commander's eyes that she was going to tell them.
"You might wanna make it fast these ones are starting to look jumpy."
"Ok," Maria said and looked at her friends. She took a deep breath "My name is really Maria Hill and this is Natasha Romanoff and we're agents for an undercover security organization called SHEILD. Yes I've been lying to you but I would really appreciate it if you would ask questions later and just get up and leave as quickly as you can because things are about to get sketchy in here." She said in one breath and the others just stared at her then burst out laughing which only drew the attention of the men who were looking for Hill.
"Well," Natasha said noticing the men were approaching and reaching for weapons. "You gave them fair warning." The men each took out their weapons and shots were fired into the ceiling. The laughing stopped dead.
"Everyone out!" Blondie shouted. He was the obvious leader of the group and there was just a second of hesitation before the bar was clearing out. Lilly, Marshall, Ted, and Barney each stood but a gun was shoved in Marshall and Barney's faces and they all froze. "Except the lot of you. Take your seats." They slowly sat down and all eyes turned to Maria and Natasha. "Now, which one of you is agent Maria Hill?" The man asked. He pushed the end of his gun against Marshall's temple and Lilly whimpered beside him, clinging to his hand. Poor Marshall looked like he would faint, vomit, or both. Maria and Natasha shared a look right before Romanoff was springing to her feet.
"It's me!" She said and painted a look of worry on her face. "I'm Maria Hill just, just please don't hurt them."
"No!" Maria said and stood as well. She turned to Natasha and gave her a frantic look. "Don't do this! Don't put yourself in danger. She's lying I'm Maria Hill." She turned and looked at the men. The leader already looked agitated.
"No she's lying!" Natasha yelled "I'm really Maria Hill!"
"No it's me she's just trying to protect me!"
"No I'm the one you want!"
"No she's not! Leave her alone!" Maria yelled.
"No! No I…."
"Shut up!" The leader shouted and all weapons were turned to the two of them. "The real Maria Hill will have Robin Scherbatsky on her ID." Her friends each donned a worried expression but luckily none of them looked at her directly.
"Ok look…" Natasha said and reached quickly towards her jeans.
"No!" The leader shouted "Neither of you move!" The two women raised their hands in submission and Hill wanted to roll her eyes at how easy this was. Though, she didn't like that her friends were there and could possibly get caught in the crosshairs if these men got trigger happy. "Keep your hands where we can see them." The leader ordered and the other two men began to approach them, Scarface went towards Romanoff while Moleman headed towards Maria. The leader remained behind Barney but kept his weapon switching back and forth between the two of them. When the two men had reached the other side Romanoff glanced at Maria who nodded for her to go.
Without a second thought Natasha jumped up and was on the table. In the blink of an eye she was jumping up and over Barney, towards the leader. She landed with her legs on the man's shoulders and did a flip maneuver that used her weight to get the man to the floor beneath her. Meanwhile, Maria hit Moleman then turned to grab Scarface's weapon from him. When she had the gun in her hand Moleman recovered and tried to grab her from behind but she dropped and kicked his feet out from under him. Four more men burst through the front door and she saw that Romanoff was already on it. She pistol whipped Moleman then turned and delivered a powerful kick to the Scarface's temple.
"Robin!" Lilly shouted in surprise at watching her friend's movement.
"All of you get down!" She shouted at the group using her Maria Hill voice and they were quick to follow. They all got to her side of the booth and crouched down. She took a second to see that they were as safe as they could get but a small yelp from behind her caught all of their attentions and she turned to see that two of the men had gotten a hold on Romanoff. Two of the three men had their guns trained on the redhead while the third, and new leader, had his trained on Maria. Another lay dead with his neck snapped.
"I would suggest you put that weapon down or things aren't going to go well for your friend here." He said with a smirk. Maria heard another whimper from Lilly and looked down to see her friends traumatized faces then looked back up to the men with the guns. Maria just rolled her eyes at the comment.
"Things never go well for her," she said shooting a look at the agent "I should know, I help do the paperwork."
"You're Maria Hill?" He asked and she sighed.
"Give him a trophy ladies and gentlemen," she replied sarcastically.
"Drop the weapon or we'll kill her." He shouted and the two men shoved their weapons harder into the other agent's skin.
"Really," Maria said as she lowered the borrowed weapon. "Did this really have to happen during my vacation? Can I reschedule for another time?" Her friends each looked up at her as if she had lost her mind.
"Your smart mouth is going to get someone seriously hurt." The new leader replied "come here, slowly."
"Robin," Ted called out sadly as she began to move.
"I knew something bad was going to happen when you walked through the door," she said ignoring Ted and focusing on Romanoff. "Can't you ever come find me just to say hi?"
"Didn't know you cared so much." Romanoff replied which earned her the barrel of a gun pressing more firmly to her temple. "Seriously that's not necessary," she said with a glare at the man on her left.
"Shut up!" The boss man ordered.
"Someone's angry," Romanoff deadpanned.
"You're going to get yourself shot one day." Maria replied as she came to a stop about a foot away from the leader.
"Eh, it's happened before." Natasha replied like it was no big deal, just another day at the office.
"But one day you won't get better from it," Maria retorted.
"I said shut up!" The boss yelled again and Maria could hear Lilly crying as the man kept his gun trained on her. She hated that her friends were having to see it all. He looked at one of the men holding Romanoff and nodded towards Hill. The man let go of the Russian woman and headed over to her. His partner moved so that he stood behind Natasha with what he thought was a good grip. As soon as the man was close enough, Maria moved so that he was between her and the Boss. She took him out quickly and grabbed his weapon. When he tried to stand she ended him with a quick shot to the head which got a shriek from her best friend who was watching from behind her. Romanoff acted in a similar fashion to the guy trying to hold her and they both raised their newly acquired weapons to the boss. He got the idea pretty quickly and dropped his weapon without having to be asked.
"You alright?" Maria asked Romanoff and the other woman nodded as they approached the man. Romanoff relieved him of a hidden knife then grabbed a chair and made quick work of securing him using the ties from the dead men. She used a similar fashion to secure the first three unconscious men then went over and stole the beer that Maria had been drinking earlier.
"Well that wasn't so bad," she said taking a long drink as she leaned against the table they had been sitting at earlier. Maria looked at the boss and sighed.
"I don't suppose you'll cooperate and tell me who sent you and how you knew who I was?"
"Go to hell," he spit at her and she nodded.
"Didn't think so," she said and put him out with a well-aimed hit to his temple. Natasha shot her an amused look and she shrugged. "He ruined my vacation." She went to stand next to the agent as her friends slowly rose to their feet. Lilly rushed over to her and clung on to her tightly.
"I was so scared! Robin, you could have been killed!" She said hysterically then looked up at her with teary eyes. "I mean Maria, or whoever you are."
"Yeah what the hell Robin!?" Ted raised his voice at her "ugh….Maria, how could you keep a secret like that?!"
"And you, they were going to kill you!" Marshall said to Natasha and their attention all turned to her. She shrugged and took another sip of the stolen drink.
"They could've tried, it's not as easy as you might think." She said with a wink and Maria thought she saw actual stars in Barney's eyes. He sure did bounce back fast.
"Yeah. You don't usually get caught so easily…" Maria added.
"Mmm," Natasha wiped her mouth after another sip and handed the beer back "just got back from Paris, twisted my shoulder and cracked a rib, they managed to find them."
"Cracked rib? Is it the same one?" Maria asked and Natasha nodded.
"You should really let that have time to heal or…."
"Yeah, yeah, can we get back to the part where you've been a secret agent this entire time and didn't tell us?!" Marshall interrupted with a glare at Maria. However, his eyes turned soft and concerned for a second as he glanced at Natasha "Though that does sound horrible and painful and shouldn't you go to a doctor for that?"
"Eh the doctors and I don't have a very good relationship, anyway this is my cue to go." She said with a smile.
"Throwing me to the wolves Romanoff?" Maria teased and Natasha laughed.
"I'm sure you can handle it," she said "I've got a bird to find." She replied with a playful look and then she was gone.
"A bird?" Lilly asked Maria with a confused expression.
"Long story," Maria replied.
"She's awesome!" Barney said with excitement.
"Her boyfriend is a trained assassin." Maria replied and watched the excitement in Barney's eyes instantly turn passive.
"Eh, she was alright I guess, nothing special." He said and took a sip of his drink.
"Ok missy, I think you owe us a story." Ted said with his arms crossed over his chest and Maria sighed.
"I guess we can start a bit before the police arrive." She replied and they all took their regular seat again as if there wasn't four men tied to chairs and three dead men on the floor. "Ok guys, this is the story of how I became a SHIELD agent…."
Haha The End.