A/N: Eh...my first attempt at a crack fic. Well, humor me I guess. Hey, I laid bed for two whole hours, unable to sleep just because of this! *rubs eyes due to sleep deprivation* Anyways, here you go. Heh heh. Chapter 347 is AWESOME.
Pairings: Minor SasuNaru and SaiSasu, with one-sided NaruSaku.
Warnings: Maybe slight mentions of some of my fetishes but... *blush* :X
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto! Not me!
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"Sexy-no-Jutsu – Boy on Boy Version!"
"Kyahh~ You're a genius!" Sakura shrieked, almost getting a nosebleed at the sight in front of her.
"Ah. It's me and Sasuke-kun…" Sai said calmly.
The other guys present, namely Naruto and Kakashi gave a 'WTF?!' face and went speechless, respectively.
"Ah." Sakura got embarrassed at herself for falling for it.
"As if I wanna see crap like that!" Naruto stomped forward and gave Konohamaru a punch on the head.
Calming herself down and clearing her throat, Sakura said, "Hmmph. As if I'd fall for a silly jutsu like that! You need to work on more…effective…tech…"
Feeling like everyone's eyes were on her, she looked back at them. "Wh-what? I'm not into that kinda stuff! Serious!"
'We don't believe you,' was what went through the guys' heads.
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At Sakura's house
"That was something back there." Sakura said to herself.
Coming out of the bath, she decided to put on a pair of pajamas with cherry blossom patterns over it. Her favourite.
Plopping down on the bed, she thought, '…but Sasuke and Sai? Oh…!! What the heck am I thinking? Better get some sleep!'
Hugging the bolster beside her, she drifted off to sleep.
Sakura woke up to the sight she saw earlier.
Except that they were in a room, instead of on the road. (A/N: insert snigger)
'It can't be?!' But before she could say or react to it, a voice boomed.
"Sasuke-teme! What're you doing with Sai?! You're mine!" a furious Naruto stepped in and grabbed the naked Sasuke off an also-naked Sai.
Sakura felt a nosebleed coming, 'Never thought he'd be that…big,' blushing and mentally scolding herself.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Whoever said I was yours? And what does it look like to you dobe?"
"Teme!" A glaring contest was about to start, only to be broken by a cough from Sai.
"Well you see Naruto-kun; all you ever talk to me about Sasuke-kun was about mending bonds and making new ones. So I tried finding a book that'll tell me to do just that." He kneeled down to the floor looking for the book, giving the audience a nice view of his ass.
'Kyahh~' Sakura mentally screamed again. (For some reason, she can't speak out loud in this dream.)
Naruto caught Sasuke looking appreciatively at that butt and glared back at him. Sasuke was of course not affected. He is an Uchiha after all.
"Ah. Here it is," holding up the book and reading the title to them, "Bondage: The Art of Making Bonds. Is this what you meant Naruto-kun?"
He looked up to see the Uchiha smirking and Naruto blushing and gaping like a goldfish.
"…" Naruto was still speechless.
Opening up the book, he continued, "It says here that skinship is very important. So we were just at the first stage. We were about to continue to the next one," pointing to the chains on the floor, unnoticed by the other occupants in the room.
'That's a lot of skin alright.' Sakura blushed again.
"F-first stage?! Chains?!" Naruto squeaked and blushed even more, emitting a chuckle from Sasuke. He looked up and glared again at the raven-haired boy.
"Naruto…about those bonds you were talking about, Sai's taught me a few things. Heh. What if…I wanted us to continue what me and Sai were doing just now?"
"What?! Sa-sasuke?" Naruto widened his eyes at Sasuke who was still in his arms and moving his face nearer to the blond. Taking advantage of his shock, Sasuke proceeded to whisper the rest in his ear, dragging a dazed Naruto out of the picture when he was done.
"Now what am I supposed to do," Sai said to no one in particular. "Oh well. Guess I'll pick up another book then. Kakashi did recommend this to me." He went on to pick up an Icha Icha book.
Sakura woke up with a start, supporting a minor nosebleed.
'That must be the weirdest dream ever. If this continues, I might faint from loss of blood.'
Sakura gulped. How was she supposed to face her teammates that day?
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Just outside the gates of Konoha
"Sakura-chan~" Naruto called out to Sakura as she approached her two teammates.
"Ne, Sakura-chan, about that date…"
"No."
"Then how about…"
"No."
"Aww…not even one? Eh..." Naruto feeling depressed, walked off to a corner, like a dog licking his wounds.
She decided to seat just slightly further from busy-reading Sai and now-depressed Naruto, seeming to observe them.
Suddenly thinking of the old Team Seven, Sakura thought, 'Naruto and Sasuke do look like a great pair… And that body… Ahh! What am I thinking!' mentally slapping herself, pushing back that all-threatening nosebleed, turning away to look at Sai instead.
'Sigh. Him and one of those self-help books again. And those clothes that show off his midriff…' Sakura suddenly remembered the breathtaking view of Sai's butt in her dream and blushed.
That image went away just as soon as she heard Naruto shout.
"Sai! What the hell are you reading!" Naruto looked shocked, pointing at the book in Sai's hands.
"Ah. It's about bonds."
'…it can't be that book right?" Sakura freezed and thought, being taken aback by the sudden déjàvu rushing through her, slowly turning towards Sai, excited but almost afraid at what she would see.
He held up a book titled, 'Bonding: The Right Way' with a picture of a guy who appears to be wearing a collar and kneeling on the floor. "It says something about getting someone to become your pet, putting a leash on them and doing stuff to them. Wonder where's the part about making bonds."
Both Naruto and Sakura gaped and looked at him as if he was an idiot.
It is Sai after all.
"Maybe to find that out I need to get a pet?" Sai mumbled to himself, suddenly having a stroke of idea.
Looking up at Naruto, he asked, "Want to become my pet Naruto-kun?"
Sakura choked, almost bleeding herself dry on the spot with the mental image of a naked Naruto being held down by chains and an equally naked Sai hovering over him. A drop of blood peeked out from her hands that covered her nose.
"Wh-what?! No way in hell! I'm not gay!" he scooted off further away from Sai.
Just then, Kakashi appeared in a smoke behind them. "Yo. Sorry I'm late." Noticing the tension in the air, he decided to ask, "Something wrong?"
"Nothing Kakashi-sensei," all three replied; Sai resumed his reading, Naruto glared at Sai's back and Sakura sticking tissues up her bloodied nose.
"Oh well."
Approaching Sai, Kakashi held out a book. "Here's the book I was talking about. One of my favourites."
Sakura fainted upon seeing what he was holding.
An Icha Icha series book.
'Definitely like my dream.'
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End
A/N2: Leave those reviews at the door will ya? XD