This is a story all about how Christmas for the Haruno family was turned from a jollytime to a holiday nightmare...
One day in Konoha, a man named Naruto Uzumaki was walking down the snow filled streets. "I sure hope I dont get jumped," Naruto thought. Then he got jumped. "Ha ha I have you now!" said Sasuke Uchiha. Then he got hit in the head by a flying snowman. "What the hell?" said Sasuke. "I'm Frost the fuckin snowman!" said Frosty who was obviously high on crack. Then Tsunade came out of an alley. "Hey you want to buy this Rolex?" said Tsunade to Naruto. "I'll take one!" yelled Kakashi while he was riding up on a harley. "Hey guys! Whats going on?" asked Sakura. "Oh, the usual," said Naruto. Then they all went to Sakura's house to have some hot cocoa. When Frosty drank a sip he melted. "Aw shit. Put me in the freezer!" said Frosty. Then Sakura vaccumed him up. "So..." said Naruto. "So..." said Sakura. Then Sasuke started singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. After that they gave each other presents. Naruto gave Sakura some lingerie (hint hint(just kidding(or am I?))), Sasuke gave naruto 999,999,999,999,999 packets of ramen, Naruto gave Sasuke a new knife, "Yay! Now I can be emo again!" said Sasuke. Sakura gave Sasuke some angst songs, and Sakura gave Naruto some beef jerky and cheese. After that they played a game. Can you guess what it was? No? Well it was a game they like to call Konoha "truth or dare and if you dont tell us what we want to know then we shove a kunai up your ass". They spun a bottle. It landed on Naruto. He said dare. Poor Naruto. He had to eat 17 pounds of beef last night at the sausage fest. Then some giant chicken came out of the sky. You thought I was going somewhere with the truth or dare thing didnt you? Ha ha ha ha ha decoys man, deeeeecoys! Well after the chicken told them to go to Mt. Olympus, they seeked out the god of food, Foohamed (which is me by the way). They found him and then Barney told them to deliver the special package. They accidentally gave it to Justin Timberlake and he e mailed it to Christina Agulera. After that they had some of Naruto's beef jerky and cheese. Meanwhile back at Konoha Tsunade was drinking some sake and eating tofu in an egg roll covered in sweet and sour sauce. Then out of the sky an alien apeared. It was Ash Ketchum! He had come for Naruto wanting to give him a Typhlosion, but Naruto thought he wanted to steal his ramen and shot him in the head. Then a hobo named Jiraiya came out of his carboard box and went to a bus stop hoping to get to New York City, the hobo paradise, with a quarter he found on the sidewalk. Then a man named Iruka got ran over and Jiraiya took his wallet and bought milk. What happens next you ask? Well i'll tell you. Naruto finally gets what he has wanted. And this is... Review and I shall tell! Just kidding. It was... It was... It was a piece of paper! But not just any piece of paper. It was a piece of paper signed by Michael Jackson. Garbage right? Wrong. It was his signature before he raped boys! That means it was worth millions. Of pennies. Because unfortunately the bank ran out of every type of currency except pennies. So what did Naruto do with this? He bought more pennies! After that he killed someone named Orochimaru for calling him fat. "I'm not fat! I'm just big boned!", said Eric Cartman. Yes. Then they went to Mcdonalds for something to eat. Sasuke got a green tea flavored McShake (YUM!!!). Naruto then went to the bathroom. There he set the record for the largest... piece of lint ever extracted from the place you never touch behind the toilet because you know that its nasty and stuff back there and you dont even want to look at it place.