Greetings! I said I'd be writing more, so here we go. I wasn't even planning this. I've got 2 other fics I was working on, but this kind of tumbled out of my brain. I thought I'd do a prologue first, just as a tester. My normal beta hasn't read this yet, so in a way, I want to surprise her. I imagine the actual chapters will probably be beta read, just because of my utter lack of confidence.

But anyway, I think I've said enough. Time to let you get on with reading the actual fic. Please review/follow/favourite so I know if I should carry on with this.

Tony really needed a drink right now. Or he just needed to pay more attention when he was flying.

Honestly, he'd had no idea how it'd happened. One moment he was flying over some country, and the next, he'd crashed in someone's back yard. His best guess was that one of the engines had given out, but that could be wrong. It was unlikely, because Tony Stark is never wrong (that's what he likes to think).

"Pep, you still there?" he groaned, hoping that the line hadn't disconnected. Then again, knowing his current luck, it probably would've.

"Yes, I'm here! What the hell just happened?" Pepper barked over the phone, and Tony winced slightly at her tone.

"Your concern is heartwarming. I just crashed."

"JESUS CHRIST, TONY! YOU CRASHED?" she screamed, and Tony could just picture the state she'd be getting herself into right now. If the situation wasn't so dire, he'd probably find it funny.

"Yup. Remind me not to drink and fly again," he said casually, attempting to pull himself up out of the rubble.

"You've been drinking? That's it, I'm sending SHIELD."

"No! Crap, don't do that. The whole reason I decided to fly on my own was to avoid SHIELD," Tony protested, actually being truthful for once. "And I haven't actually been drinking." So much for a sense of humour, he thought wryly. Jokes never seemed to go down too well with Pepper.

"At least tell me where you are," Pepper implored, and Tony felt a rush of guilt.

"No idea. Look Pep, I'll call you back soon. I just want to get myself sorted out, find out where exactly I've landed, and I'll go from there."

"Aren't you injured or something?"

"Surprisingly, no. A few cuts and bruises, but I think that's it," he said, flexing his muscles experimentally (although he might've been trying to show off, even if there was nobody around. It was always hard to tell with Tony).

"Alright," Pepper sighed. "I don't like this, you know."

"You don't like anything. Listen, I promise I'll ring you back as soon as I know what's going on. And I'll make this all up to you when I get home."

"You better, Tony," she murmured, before hanging up.

Tony was screwed. And if anyone needs a little reminder, here's a list. Tony had habits of making mental lists when shit hit the fan.

1. Pepper was pissed, and Tony knew from long, hard experiences that pissed Pepper is not the best thing to be dealing with.

2. He still has no idea where the hell he is, and he's fucking freezing. It's the middle of November, but should it really be this damn cold?

3. The chance of his jet actually being remotely useful right now is about the same chance that he'll suddenly grow wings and reptile skin.

4. Did he mention that it's fucking freezing?

5. There doesn't seem to be a drop of alcohol around.

6. Within the next day or so, it's highly likely that SHIELD will decide to get involved (something which no one ever wants, incidentally).

7. Basically, everything fucking sucks right now.

"Could this get any worse?" Tony asked no one in particular. Turns out maybe he didn't really want to know the answer, and that rhetorical questions are rhetorical for a reason.