When did it come to this? My body shivered violently as I cleansed myself of an evil that sought to destroy me. I was too strong to fall victim to the sweet temptation meant to entice me to my own destruction. One touch of the forbidden fruit and I would swell into an unrecognizable beast.
I wondered how long I would reek of vomit and shame. Water dances through my teeth until no demons remain. Swish. Swish. Swish.
All clean.
I could not see the excessive flesh on my ice body, but I could feel it. I could smell it.
"Yo, Terezi, how long are you gonna be in the bathroom? I gotta piss like mad." Dave asked from outside the door. I prayed he hadn't heard my gags.
"Just a second!" I coughed.
I licked my chapped black lips and opened the door to meet my waiting matesprit. I walked out forcing a slight smile, even as he rushed past me and shut the door behind him. That was Dave, per usual. Coolkid had too much pride to so much as smile at his…what did he call me?... "fuck buddy", I think it was. I had always thought the human equivalent to matesprit was boyfriend and girlfriend. Of course, I learned something new everyday.
My breath smelled of berry puke and desperation. I was certain that Latula had never stooped to this. She was perfect. Radical, even. She could be beautiful and loved effortlessly, but that was why I had been in pursuit of my own perfection. It would be mine at any cost.
I kept time to the rhythm of my footsteps as the sand of this meteor shuffled beneath them. It was hard to contain my thoughts, the voices that haunted me. As each grain of sand danced, there was a whisper in my ear telling me I would never be as weightless.
I never thought I was fat before. I had never noticed the slight rolls on my hips and stomach. I had never noticed the pudginess of my arms. Never before spent a sleepless night weeping over a double chin that wasn't there. I was bound in chains; trapped in an eternal cycle of starve, binge, purge. I would travel this path of self-destruction until the day I withered away to the bones I desired. The bones I needed so desperately, the bones I needed to see. I needed tocount each rib, each vertebrae of my spine, though I would never see them. I would wrap my hands around my thighs effortlessly, a perfect gap. No offensive flesh to impair it.
I would become bones. I would die to be bones. I was dying to be bones. I had already died to be bones.
I didn't need to breath to live, I needed an empty stomach.
(A/N: Just a short introductory for a first chapter. Hope you like it.)