Angel and Devil
Disclaimer: If I owned Castle then there would be an episode a day. Alas, I don't so there isn't!
Just stream of consciousness for 'Recoil'! Some of the dialogue is the same though I have taken a few artistic liberties. Let me know what you think. Gosh, didn't you just love that episode.
Kate is pacing nervously up and down the break room, ringing her hands, glancing every few steps at the door. She doesn't have to wait long. He is never far behind her, especially when she is emotionally stretched in every direction. He knows her tells and when her words don't quite reflect what she is thinking. Does she want to come clean with him? Let him in on her mental state? Kate knows that he isn't clueless. The looks he has been throwing in her direction ever since the hotel clerk threw down the newspaper with Satan's face on. She went to her therapist first. That heart-warming smile that Castle had given her when she told him to go home and rest, the way he told her she was remarkable, she couldn't be that person at that moment. In her hand was a way of getting a certain kind of justice, and she couldn't be Detective Beckett, nor Kate the girlfriend, she could only be Katie, the motherless girl intent on catching the real killer.
Castle tries to act nonchalant. Just comes in, delivers his news about the suspect and waits. Whether he is waiting for a response, an acknowledgment, or an outpouring of emotion, he isn't sure himself. Option three is what he really wants if he is going to be honest. His partner is hurting, badly. He can't do anything about the problem, nor can he take her away from it all; she wouldn't let him for a start. What he can do is listen, reassure, comfort, lighten the mood if that is what she wants. Or he can argue back, talk her back off the ledge, or rile her up. Determined Kate is a force to be reckoned with; focused, driven, one track minded. He tries hard not to associate this side of her with danger. She is dangerous; to herself, to their relationship, and to Senator Bracken. He questioned her dedication to the justice system once before; was she capable of murder? He was wrong that time, but only just. Now, she has literally been handed a gun, and numerous opportunities to point it in Bracken's direction. Or let nature take its course.
"I didn't miss Castle." He attempts to wrap his head around that bit of information. His eyes narrow and he steps closer.
"What do you mean?" He knows what she means but he wants to hear it from her. They are good at dodging the big issues, side-stepping around the main points, and glazing over vital information.
"I saw the pain in his eyes." Not quite the explanation he is after but close enough. He is a writer; he can read between the lines better than most. Again, there was that determined look on her face, and a hint of defiance? Possibly. They both knew that she wasn't asking his permission, or seeking his approval, but it did matter to her. She could count on him to tell her how it is, how it should be, when she has over stepped.
"What if I wanted him to get away?" There it is. She needs him to tell her that she isn't like Bracken, or any other murderer she has ever come across. He opens his mouth to dig deeper but the Captain walks in and Kate's wall shoots back into place.
"Officers found the makings of a bomb in our suspect's apartment. It looks like he either has it on him or has already planted it."
Castle tenses and he can practically feel the atmosphere shift in the room. He hopes Gates doesn't.
"A bomb?" Kate croaks. This is not the way she thought this was going to go. Of course she wants Bracken dead, been dreaming of that moment, but for innocent people to die for her vendetta is not what she signed up for when she 'missed'. Gates confirms and leaves them too it. She needs air.
"Castle, he had a rifle," she is pleading him for a way out. He desperately wants to give it to her, but he can't. He can only reassure her that she is not to blame, that she couldn't have known. Castle knows that she is battling with an intense moral dilemma; Katie vs. Detective. He loves both and won't ever tell her he is disappointed in her, or that she shouldn't have done what she has done. He understands. He doesn't like it, but he does understand. That is what being a partner is about. A partner in the precinct means he supports her decision in a practical way; comes up with solutions, alternatives, a way out. A partner at home means he supports her emotionally; keeps her from breaking down, tells her to take a break, holds her when she falls.
He isn't the only partner she has at work. "Looks like you will have some help." He gives her a small smile when Esposito and Ryan lead their suspect into the precinct.
"Interrogation Room 2," she grits out. Determined. Castle feels like he is on a rollercoaster sometimes; how can one person break and recover in a matter of seconds, multiple times a day? He meant it, she is remarkable. And she will fix it, though he wishes she didn't have to. He wouldn't mind owning a gun right about now. He believes wholeheartedly in the criminal justice system, but that doesn't stop a niggling in the back of his mind that plots Brackens death. He is a murder mystery novelist; it's his job to plan death.
He watches her through the glass. Castle can see the poetic-ness of the situation. On one side of the table is the angel, and the other side the devil, though who is who is hard to tell. Depends on your viewpoint.
She uses soft, reassuring tones, trying to emotionally connect with a man who has been through exactly what she has. She knows this man. She understands his thought process, his desire to kill, his intent on revenge. She feels them all but she has the law on her side. She lost sight of that for a second but seeing this broken man sitting across from her she finds her way back. An eye for an eye isn't enough for her, isn't what her mother would have wanted. And isn't that the point of all of this? To get justice for her mother, to honor her?
If Castle had again doubted Kate's ability to do things by the badge, to not commit a murder, then her throwing herself over Bracken, to shield him from the blast, had set him straight. She not only had to go and prove that she was on the straight and narrow, but that she was prepared to go above and beyond. He had told her that she didn't have to prove herself to anyone; not to Gates, to herself, or to him. She really took that sentiment to heart obviously. Maddening, frustrating, challenging, remarkable woman.