Lost & Found

By S. Faith, © 2007

Words: 792

Rating: T / PG-13

Summary: Five letters, three universes…

Disclaimer: Helen's world, Helen's characters; my words in this specific order.

Notes: This is another I've been wanting to do for a while. If I thought long enough I probably could have come up with more, but I thought of the five letters that might have had the biggest impact on the story, regardless whether it's column, book or movie universe.

I think it's fascinating in a way that my favourite contemporary books are in a sense voyeuristic: Helen Fielding's Bridget novels (diary), and Nick Bantock's Griffin & Sabine series (letters and postcards).

I.

I can try to (blame it) on a rebellion against the saccharine sweetness of the Christmas season, or maybe having had one too many glasses of wine, or the fact that for weeks (my mother) had been putting the pressure on me about (illegible), but the truth is I had no right to say such things (illegible). I am appalled that I allowed that (venting not) only to be spoken, but to be overheard. I know you must think me the rudest prat ever to exist, but I wanted to offer

— Clearly unfinished, written on floral stationery, sodden and barely legible due to having wine spilled on it, found by Mrs Jones while cleaning post-Turkey Curry Buffet, 1 January. Bracketed words and portions of words are guessed or simply too damaged to read.

………

II.

Bridget,

It's very late but I wanted to get this down before I lost my nerve. I know you have no reason to take anything I have to say seriously considering our past encounters, but I feel I owe it to you, if for no other reason than having a conscience, to give you the truth and hopefully spare you some heartache.

I strongly suspect that Cleaver has not been honest with you about his past friendship with me, that he failed to inform you that despite being the best man at my wedding, I caught him and my wife on Christmas Eve in our very own bedroom while they thought I was working a full day. Nothing has ever hurt me quite as much as that double betrayal. Lest you think I am being deliberately exaggerative, trying to turn you against him for the sake of spite, you need only ask my mother for the details; it was she that I called immediately after the pair of them left that night.

You are welcome to contact me to talk if you need to.

Please take care of yourself.

Regards,

Mark

— Written on hotel stationery, found during an auto-detailing under the driver's seat of Daniel Cleaver's convertible, mid-July.

………

III.

Dearest Bridget,

I don't have a lot of time to write this, or to obsess over the perfect words as I'd so like to do. However, I have realised thanks to my mother that I must be honest with how I feel. Regardless of what you may believe, the truth of it is that I am not with Rebecca. I can't be when I still love you. I don't mean to cause you pain by saying this, but I can't continue to sit on my feelings; I was wrong to storm out before giving you a chance to explain re: Gary, the mystery Valentine and even the fax, just as you were wrong to not listen to me explain the taxi ride I shared with someone I thought was your friend.

If by some small miracle you feel the same way, ring me tonight before you leave for Thailand, and we can talk about those things that have seemingly conspired to keep us apart. Otherwise, I won't belabour the point; I'll just see you when you return and sincerely hope we can be friends.

Yours,

Mark

— Written on plain white bond paper, folded then smashed up at the corners, found by Elaine Darcy in her husband's jacket pocket just prior to taking it to the dry cleaners, late November.

………

IV.

Every time I think I should have just waited a little bit longer for your answer, I remember how each passing minute—from when I asked you to marry me, to when we met in the bar and I told you I was leaving—felt like the slow approach of a painful and unavoidable death. I guess I just got tired of waiting for the inevitable crash to come; I simply sped up and met it head on.

With how different we are, I'm not surprised you didn't accept. Foolish to think our differences might have made us stronger.

I'm tired, I've had too many drinks up here in the plane, and am feeling desperate and morose. Who am I kidding? You'll never see this.

— Written on a ragged-top sheet of brief-sized paper, crumpled and found near a trash bin in Narita Airport, mid-March.

………

V.

My darling B.—

I realise I'm a touch on the reticent side when it comes to my feelings, so:

I love you, I love you, I love you, with all of my heart and soul—

M.

— Written on a neatly folded scrap of pink notepaper, found by Bridget Jones between the head of bed and the wall as she was packing to move in with the father of her son, shortly after his birth.

The end.

Notes:

I. First movie. Written during the Turkey Curry Buffet.

II. First movie. Written the weekend of the Tarts & Vicars.

III. Second book. Written after Mrs Jones' disastrous book club meeting (where Jerome reads his horrible poetry), when Bridget thinks Mark is writing a will.

IV. The original Independent columns, 12 Feb – 19 March 1997 (when Mark asks her to marry him, through just before his departure for Japan). Written on the plane.

V. The newest Independent columns, 2005-2006. Written at some unknown time prior.

If you missed the columns the first time around, they are at the Bridget Archive. (Mark Darcy doesn't show up until January of 1996—after the BBC's Pride and Prejudice ;))