The Many Mary-Sues
A/N – Sara and I got so sick of all of the 'meet Jack and Fall in Love' stories, that we decided to write one of our own. This is just a couple of short passages making fun of pretty much everything, we even make fun of ourselves, so enjoy!! Oh and, by the way, this is not to be taken seriously, most people out there will hate it, but that is to be expected, and that is kinda why we wrote it, we love to push people's buttons. So, go on, read!!
~~*The Perfect In Every Way Mary-Sue
Kyra woke up suddenly, and the sun fell on her beautiful, gorgeous, perfect, wonderful face. Her light crystal blue eyes went perfectly together with her perfectly cut and perfectly light blonde hair.
"Ah, I am so perfect." She said as she smiled, flashing her pair of pearly white teeth, perfectly straight and shining. There was a knock at her large, blue marble door. She beckoned for her maid to come in and chatted with her in Spanish whilst putting on her corset. She knew many languages, not only was she gorgeous but she was the smartest girl around. She also had the smallest waist in the town.
After dressing in her gown of the most expensive cloth and color, she dramatically waltzed down the stairs, past her 20 admirers.
Then, after some strange event or other, she is kidnapped by a bunch of pirates, shouts "Parley" and is taken to Jack. BLAH BLAH BLAH she falls in love and they sail off Happily Ever After.
~~*The Lost Relative Mary-Sue
Mina blinked wiped tears away from her smooth olive skin at the sight of her dear brother Will. She rushes to him and hugs him with her strong arms, which, somehow, were stronger than a man's arms, even though she was the smallest girl around. She spoke in a refined voice about her happiness and joy to see her dear Will and started to listen to his tales of pirates. Will was surprised to find that she knew everything about pirates, even though she was a simple-minded, gorgeous, perfect girl who never went out on a boat, but somehow…she still knew all about pirates.
Eventually a bunch of stuff happens and she meets Jack. They fall in love, have a hot wild sex scene, then he either leaves her or they start to sail into the horizon while Elizabeth and Will look on, holding each other and with tears in their eyes.
~~*The Female Pirate Mary-Sue
Jack had never before seen a pirate quite like her. She was gorgeous, of course, long brown hair trailing own her back and beautiful brown eyes to match. She was, somehow, respected by men (how?) and ran the ship by herself. Somehow she has a tie to Jack's past. After about 3 or more chapters of pointless crap, they realize that they truly love each other, and after yet another hot steamy sex scene, they, like all the others, sail into the horizon.
~~The, I swear this story is not a Mary-Sue, Mary-Sue
Ok, like, I wrote this story, and I swear it is NOT a Mary-Sue, okay? I was trying and trying all night to, like, think of something, and this just came up, okay, savvy? So, like, read and review please, but no flames, they make me sad, savvy?
So…on with the story, okay?
My name is blahblah and I am a perfect height and a perfect weight and I have perfect hair and perfect eyes and I am just so perfect, but that doesn't make me a Mary-Sue, because I have had my share of hardships in my life. My father beat my mother and me. My brother, Jack, ran away and became a pirate. Somehow or another, I learned to fight with swords, even though that is not typical for women in this era, but oh well. Sometime in the near future I'm going to meet up with some guy names Jack who looks suspiciously like my brother, but since I am so perfect and SO trusting, I'm not even gonna think that he's my brother. But after 20 chapters of crap I finally realize he is and we have a big reunion and then we run off somewhere, because all of I sudden I'm this amazing pirate, you know, savvy? So like, that's my story, arghhh!!!
A/N – Yes, we have no idea why we wrote these. But come on, most people out there hate Mary-Sues. Flames welcome, they will be publicly made fun of, and for people who actually want to review this story, knock yourselves out. This was just a little side fic, away from our REAL fic that we're working on. But thanx for reading anyway,
Sarafina Snape and Avalea Kajin.