"This is war, Sam."
"So you're going to just kill whatever comes your way? Stop and think Dean."
Sam felt like they had this same conversation three times a day. Yes, the world was ending. Yes, it was their job to stop it. No, they did not have to sink to the level of the other angels and demons to get what they wanted.
They were on another hunt. Vampires had nested up in northern Colorado and needed exterminating. They stopped off at the first motel they found in town and decided to pick up the trail the next morning.
Sam had brought up the vege-vampires, wishing that there could be more like them. Dean instantly snapped back that not killing them was a mistake.
Sam knew he was on black-and-white kick, but he just did not have the patience to give a shades-of-grey speech tonight.
"Sam, do not pretend like killing evil is unwarranted."
"I'm not Dean! But this warpath is getting old. You can't hate the world. It sucks, but you and I are both gonna fight for it no matter what it takes from us. Blood, sweat-"
"-my brother," Dean interrupted angrily.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sam spat.
"Demon. Blood."
Sam's veins ran cold. "Wh-what?"
Sam woke with a start.
He pulled his heavy head up from the side of the impala's door and stretched out his arms as much as possible in the confined space.
"We-hell. Bout time you woke up Sleeping Beauty."
"Hello to you too." Sam rubbed his eyes and glanced over at his brother noting the sunglasses and smirk on his face. "Why do you sound so chipper?"
"Why shouldn't I?"
Cas. Bobby. Leviathans.
"I dunno. You're just weirding me out. Sure I don't need to salt you? Or would you rather a douse of holy water?"
"Aw shove it, Sam."
"Whatever." Sam looked out the window. Mile-marker 262. How helpful. He picked up a couple of newspapers from the floor and began sifting through headlines. Stock-Market Debacle, Salutation to Graduations: nothing of any importance. He finally gave up. "So where we headed?"
"Nowhere," Dean said with a grin.
"Excuse me?" Dean just kept up that stupid smile on his face. "What's the case?"
"No case."
Sam stared in disbelief. "What do you mean there's no case?"
"Don't be a hard-ass Sam. There's no case! It's just you and me and the open road."
"Dean…"
"I mean it."
"We tried normal!" Sam yelled. He took a breath and lowered his voice. "As awesome as that sounds, it's never going to work out that way for us. You lived with Lisa and Ben for a year. I went to Stanford. And we both ended up right back where we started. Hunting IS our normal."
"I know that, Sam."
"We can stop the leviathans. Probably no one else can, which means that it's up to us."
"Sam, I know."
"Then would you kindly explain what the hell is wrong with you?"
At that point, Dean swerved the car off to the side of the road. He stepped out of the impala, not even bothering to shut the door, and walked a couple paces behind it.
Sam prepared himself for the moment to hash it all out. He stepped out of the car. He approached Dean slowly, words churning in his mind.
"Dean, I-"
"Shhhhhhhh," Dean drawled.
"But-"
"Shhhhhhhh." Sam groaned and reluctantly closed his mouth.
Dean sat on the back of the impala and looked at Sam expectantly. Sam rolled his eyes and went to lean against the car, next to Dean.
Sam shifted uncomfortably for several minutes. He looked to Dean for answers, but Dean just sat there with his forearms resting on his knees, eyes gazing into the faint light tipping into the sky.
Sam's thoughts drifted to his dream. How many nightmares was he up to? A million seemed fairly accurate. He had always been prone to them as a child and there always seemed to be something nagging his brain in his adult life. He tried to remember the last time he actually had a good dream. These days, a dreamless night was a blessing.
He unconsciously leaned into Dean and Dean raised an arm to wrap around him. The smell of Dean's leather jacket drifted to him and all the tension slowly began to melt away.
"Look, Sam."
Sam lifted his gaze in time to catch the sun's rays streaming directly into them, making his eyes water. He rubbed them dry, ready to fight off a smart remark from the man next to him.
But Dean just stared into the rising colors, full of bliss.
"I just wanted to forget everything for a moment. I wanted to pretend like we don't have to worry about life and death situations, like there's no more loss and pain. I need this moment, Sam. I need to remember what I'm fighting for. And even if I can't have Lisa and Ben and a house and a yard, I can have a sunrise with my brother and my baby."
"Plus we'll always have chasing cars and kicking ass."
Dean chuckled and ruffled Sam's hair. "That's right, Sammy." I've trained him well, he thought.
Dean slid off the impala and turned to get back in the car.
"Dean?"
He turned back to face Sam.
"Yeah?"
Sam looked at his feet.
"I miss them too."
Dean let his heart take a moment to calm the pang as he rested his hand on the driver door. He glanced over his shoulder at the sun climbing up from the horizon and soaked in every bit of life he could from it.
"Me too, Sammy. Me too."
They both slid back into the impala. The familiar growl sounded as Dean turned the key. Motorhead filled the silent morning and Dean pulled back onto pavement. But every few minutes, the boys made sure to glance back at the rising sun.