Long ago, by chance, I met a young whippersnapper by the name of Eric 2. He had just left his hometown of Michigan out in Alabama, and he was ready to take on the world. I was busy selling mechanically separated chicken, my family's famous homestyle recipe of course, with 18 herbs and 122 spices. One of those spices was the ground-up flesh of an innocent author much like myself.
Because I'm an author. I wrote Life on the Large Rock and Death on the Large rock and The Large Rock Strikes Back and Large Rock's Christmas Vacation and Large Rock Licks the Prickly Pear and Slap my Buttock I'm A Fricken Terrible Athlete and Kill Me Now My Life is an Endless Void and Suck my Cheeks You Farkus. So anyways, I don't know, I guess Eric 2 was getting married to his...
What was it? Third wife? I dunno. Whatever. Her name was Ben, I think. I was her. My name is Ben.
Eric 2 took it upon himself to regain his eyeballs through immense physical pain. He would literally attach his dingus to the bongo drums and smiggle the daggle all over, if you know what I mean. Hehehe. Yeah. Anyways, I dunno. I dunno. I know, so anyways, I dunno. He had really big socks. I mean, if there's one thing I know about good ol' Eric 2, it's that his socks were freakin'
GINORMOUS! Man, what I'd give to stick a knife in his forehead, I mean, socks. I dunno. I guess I mean forehead. Maybe. I dunno. Those socks were a sight to behold though. One time I caught him whizzling all over the socks, if you know what I mean. Hehehe. Anyways, I dunno. Man did those socks smell good. They smelled smelly, like a big Forken Fir tree, kinda like Rainbow Salt or Sizzling Sausage Snakes. I guess, I dunno. Maybe. I dunno.
So anyways, I dunno. He always listened to Romanian pop music. It was all Romanian and stuff. I always wanted to shove his boombox into his eye socket and then whizzle all over his face, if you know what I mean. Hehehe. Anyways, I dunno. I think he was a half-empty kind of guy, you know, like an airline food kind of guy, you know. I dunno. Kind of like a donkey without a pooper scooper, if you know what I mean. Hehehe. I think he was a scientologist, know know, he believed in redder tomatoes. I guess that's why he played pac-man, if you know what I mean. Hehehe. Anyways,
I dunno. I dunno. Maybe. I think he was a boy. I dunno. Maybe he was a bumbling bugglet? Duh, like totally. Hehehe. If you know what I mean. LOL ROFLMAO WTF GTG FTL ROGUELIKE CHEESEBURGER HAMLET SENSEI SNACKERZ DRAGON BALLZ LOL
Eric 2 fought in the the Civil War. He was a good man. He died a good man. He died a bad guy. A bad guy who's a good man who gotz no trickling pucket. If you know what I mean. Anyways,
I dunno. Hehehe. SUPEr MARIO MCDONALDS XTRA LITE 2 U 3D DINGO SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG EGG EGG EGG I dunno.